To hell with all that.

On occasion I'll go off on here about politics and religion. But not often. The truth is, I hate discussing these two topics. I hate when they're brought up. It makes me uncomfortable, and I feel out of my element. These are not discussions I can really contribute to. I've made attempts, but I really prefer not to, as I do not feel qualified to comment on either about ninety-five percent of the time. I don't follow politics. I'm not clever enough to understand any of it. It's confusing as hell, and I prefer to ignore it. I did my research on Obama during election season, I liked what I was reading about him, and my gut told me he was the candidate for me. Beyond that, I just sat back and watched the fireworks. I put in my two cents on health care reform, since I'm no longer covered by the government-run health insurance that I enjoyed for six years, Tricare. Yes, that's right, I said ENJOYED. Bite me. Again, though, I prefer to sit back and await the results of the...well, whatever the hell you wanna call it. Debate?? Fight?? War?? Meh. As for religion...I ranted on that recently, but I really truly honestly HATE it when someone brings it up. Even more than politics. Do not try to drag me into a discussion/debate/argument, because I want none of it. Religion has always been a very personal thing for me, not something I care to emblazon on a banner and hang from the rooftops. It's unnecessary. Let me worry about my soul or fate in the afterlife or what have you, and you worry about yours. I was beyond offended when a Christian, upon hearing that I was a pseudo-Wiccan, tried to LECTURE ME. It was my fault for mentioning it in the first place, because it was none of his business, but HOLY SHIT. You know nothing about me, how dare you lecture to me?? Basically what I'm saying is...don't bring that shit up around me. As I said, I'm just not clever enough to understand politics. Yes, I voted for Barack Obama, and yes, I find it incredibly offensive when Obama supporters are compared to socialists, communists, or worse...NAZIS. Fuck you. As for religion, I could care less about "In God We Trust" being on the dollar bill, I could care less about the Ten Commandments being posted outside of a courthouse. I still sorta believe in some kind of higher being, but I'm not stupid enough to think the earth was created in six days or that the earth is only six thousand years old. And don't ask me to expand on any of that, because I'm not going to. I've been burned in the past for trying to, and I won't make that mistake again.

And for the record, I do believe Scientology is a crock of shit. I will not expand on that, either. The end.

From the mouths of babes.

Yesterday my friend Ben and his wife Carrie brought over their daughters Hannah and Emma for a few hours. I put on some movies for them, including Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, which they admitted to never seeing previously. (Srsly, what's wrong with this new batch of children?? These are classics, for chrissakes!!) Emma has a loose tooth, and kept wiggling it back and forth. I encouraged her efforts, and provided many a napkin to sop up the blood. She expressed distaste for the blood, saying, "It tastes like an old lady dying in my mouth."

Emma is six years old.

I swear to gawd this happened.

Keep religion out of it.

Currently religious leaders are throwing a shit fit over abortion coverage as part of the healthcare reform. I have a middle-ground view on abortion, but I won't go into it. Instead, let me remind you about a little girl with Type I Diabetes whose parents refused to seek treatment for her, choosing instead to pray and "leave it in God's hands," allowing their little girl to die.

Remember that. The lesson I gathered from this tragic incident?? Keep religion out of healthcare.

And we know what happens when religion and affairs of state mix. Remember Mary I of England, Bloody Mary, who sent hundreds of Protestants to the stake for daring to worship God in a different manner. Not even children were spared during her bloody reign. During that same time period, an innocent girl named Jane Grey lost her head because the Protestant faction did not want a Catholic monarch and disregarded Henry VIII's will, known as the Act of Succession, which turned out to be illegal because it had been passed by an Act of Parliament. The lesson to be learned? Keep religion out of affairs of state and politics. Those are just two among the thousands of examples provided by history.

Have you heard that the Catholic Church in DC is threatening to withdraw their social services (ie, assistance to the homeless, etc) if the local government doesn't drop a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage?? I think Ghandi had it right when he said, "I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. They are nothing like your Christ." So true, Ghandi.

I can't keep defending religion when it's used in the worst way possible. When it's used to defend actions such as suicide bombings and honor killing. When it's used to  keep a woman from seeking an abortion when she's raped, or as an excuse from getting medical treatment for your children. When it's used as an excuse to commit  treason or persecute people who see things a little differently than you do.

I am losing faith in mankind, and as a result am less able to believe that there's a higher being that created us and cares about us. Where was God when over a million people lost their lives in the American Civil War?? Where was God when Hitler persecuted and murdered over six million Jews?? Where was God when the World Trade Center towers fell?? WHERE WAS HE????

Dealing with shit: The teaser trailer.

Not too pleased with what transpired earlier today. Though I was assured towards the end that I am worrying more than is necessary, these assurances do nothing to alleviate my concerns and apprehensions that now beset me. It's far too late for me to go into further detail, but I will go more into it tomorrow. I'll be getting a lot off my chest.

Someone answer me this: What is left for a person when they no longer feel comfortable just being their self??

Hi Laggin!!

Still alive!! I swear, it's me!!

So what's new with me?? Hm. Rich came home, and picked up a nasty cold, and somehow I dodged it. Woot!! I just got back from two weeks of work in Anchorage, Alaska. It is absolutely beautiful up there, we were surrounded by gorgeous mountains, but it was coooooold. We worked with some great guys up there, one of which I went to tech school with. It was crazy, but fun, to see him again, and we had a great time up there.

I'm home now, and my house is a mess, but it's not bothering me too much at the moment. Dee's sister, Nikki, stayed the night and we had french toast, eggs, and bacon for a very late breakfast this afternoon. Dee came over and we had Italian food and watched The Holiday. I love that movie.

Btw, Dee is pregnant!! I totally called it. I had a dream three weeks ago that she was preggers, and I called her the next day and told her to get tested. She called me crazy, but guess who was right?? Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

Farewell!! I'll check back more often, promise!!

I love this job.

I think my brain just blew up. By the time this meeting is over, I'll be bleeding out of my ears.

Speaking of which, anyone see The Surrogate yet?? Good movie.

I has a Rich. :)

I am picking up the Fiance tonight!!!!

More good news...

...Fiance will be home a day earlier than expected!! Less than a week!! Yippee!!

<3

My "new" car.

On Saturday, Dee dragged me to our local dealership for a little browsing. We were immediately set upon by a pleasant man named Juan (these guys do NOT waste time, they should make an Olympic sport out of this). He showed us the 2010 Ford Fusion, and I asked if they had any 2007s or 2008s. He showed me a few, including a 2008 that was a lovely shade of red, but the one that caught my eye was a 2007 SE with a price tag under $14K. Dark blue with less than 28K miles on it, I was intrigued. I explained to him what I was looking for in a car: safety, fuel efficiency, and a low price. It already met two out of three, so he explained the safety features to me. I like what I was hearing.

After making a few ominous references to the middle-of-nowhere dealership from hell that I had recently visited (okay, I'm exaggerating, but they still suck), he finally asked me, looking a little surprised and confused at my hints, where I had gone. "Reiss Ford," said the Dread Pirate Davi. Juan's reaction was to roll his eyes. That spoke volumes right there about Sucky Dealership's reputation. I explained to him my confusion over what I thought to be my decent credit score. We sat down, go to talking, went over some options, etc etc. They came up with a figure for the trade-in value of my 2002 Hyundai Santa Fe GLS, which was $1K ovver blue book value (and, conveniently, a hundred dollars over the payoff price for the loan...sweeeeeet). After coming up with guestimated monthly payment, I decided to go home and sleep on it.

After class the next day, I went back. I was told that my credit score was not what I thought it to be (thanks for nothing, freecreditreport.com), and the obstacles standing in the way of my taking home the car that day. Without going into boring details, we managed to clear them. These people were really working hard to get me the best deal possible. The bank they were working with (who, according to the finance officer, is a bad subprime lender...I'll have to look up the exact meaning of that) would not seal the deal without a $1600 down payment. So they gave me another grand for the trade-in value, which would go towards the down payment, and I just needed to give them $600. I could live with that. Finally the finance officer sat me down, told me my actual credit score (so appalling that I will not share it with you), and even explained to me why it was that low and why the bank they were working with was going with an APR of...take a deep breath, sit down, grab the nearest bottle of liquor...19.9%.

(I can see Laggin having a stroke as she reads this. Breathe, Laggin, breathe!!)

I felt so defeated. My payments would be around $370. I wouldn't be able to afford extending the warranty. But I took the deal. Why?? As I spelled it out for Fiance (necessary, because I die of swine flu, the poor man will inherit all my ghastly debt):

1- Even with taxes and what have you figured in, I was getting the car for less than blue book value.
2- The dealership was giving me the payoff amount for my car and more ($2K more than it's worth), and I don't see anyone anywhere giving me that kinda deal; Reiss Ford was only giving me $2200 for it. The Santa Fe will be paid off, and I have a down payment.
3- The Santa Fe has 111,000 miles on it. And I'm still making payments towards it?? No thank you.
4- It's a simple loan, which means I can pay extra towards the principle without incurring penalties.
5- I plan on refinancing in six months to get my interest rate down.

I signed the paperwork, but the finance officer said he might be able to get a better deal come Monday. I did not hold out hope for this. But at least I had a "new" car.

I missed a call from his this afternoon, and listened to the voicemail later. He told me that he had indeed gotten a better deal, and that my payments were now $327 with the warranty. Happy dance, anyone?? I just needed one document, and the deal was done.

I obtained said document, and headed over there with Dee. Juan was waiting, and he brought us in to see Anthony, the finance officer. He said he had found a better bank to go through, and showed me what the numbers were now like. He ripped up the old forms, and brought out the new ones for me to sign. I asked what my APR was now, expecting something between 10 - 15%.

"Seven point seven-five," says he.

My jaw dropped, and I turned to Dee who mirrored the expression on my face. I was in shock, and I was so thrilled!! I could afford the warranty now!! My payments would only be $18 more than before!!

Juan put my new plates on my car, and even did a favor me (beyond what he had already achieved for me!!). When I was in Puerto Rico last summer, my dad bought me a car decal. It has the American flag, and next to it the Puerto Rican flag. Beneath it, in Spanish, it says "Orgulloso de las dos." It means, "Proud of the both." Which I am. When my dad bought it, I said I would not use it until I had a new car to put it on. And now I did. So Juan, being of Puerto Rican himself, was happy to put it on for me - - oh, I just realized something. I had him put it right above the break light at the bottom of my back window. My poor car has a tramp stamp!! Ha ha...Now, to come up with a name for her...One that isn't too prissy for her "tramp stamp"...I've got it. I shall name her Bella, short for Isabella. And it has nothing to do with Twilight. I liked that name long before Stephanie Meyers was writing.

As I have denounched Reiss Ford of Marissa, Illinois, so shall I praise Auffenberg Ford North of O'Fallon, Illinois. I want to thank Juan Cruz, Kim Robison, and Anthony Brinker for all their help in putting me into a new car. They were friendly and helpful beyond belief. Thank you.

2007 Ford Fusion SE 4D.
Front-wheel drive.
< 27,000 miles.
Between 25 and 31 mpg.
ABS and MP3 multi CD changer.
Dark blue.
Tramp stamp on the rear window.
Named "Bella".

PS...Juan told me to blog about this, but he might not have thought I'd actually do it. So, if you go there, and you deal with him, tell him about this post.

I am LIVID.

On Monday, I received an ad from a dealership informing me that I was a guaranteed winner of one of five prizes, and that the dealership was having a huge sale on top of that. After reading the fine print, I was convinced it was legit. So Tuesday, after work, I drove 40 minutes to the small Ford dealership. Once their, I allowed a man named Bill to show me some of their used cars. I was particulary smitten with a black 2006 Ford Fusion SEL with black leather interior and a moon roof. We took it for a test drive before we went inside to get my prize and talk financing. I wasn't really serious about buying a car, but I would like a change in vehicles, and I was curious. For one reason or another, they couldn't come up with the numbers right there. So they gave me my prize, and they let me take the Fusion for the night.

Now, as I said before, I was a guaranteed winner of one of five prizes: $100 in cash, a $250 WalMart gift card, a Ford Edge, another cash prize...and I forget the last one. I won the gift card. I was pleased.


Now, to make a long story short, it was not going to work out with the 2006 Fusion, so the dealership tried to get me to buy a 2010 Fusion. Finally, I told them this afternoon that it just wasn't going to work on my end, and Bill said that with my permission, he would keep looking around to see if he could find me a 2008 and call me if he did. I said this was fine.

I got off work and headed to WalMart to spend my gift card. I got some groceries, and then grabbed $238 worth of clothes, shoes, bedding, picture frames, a book, and a dish rack. I headed to the register, and the total was $403. I gave the cashier the gift card and told her I would use debit to pay for the rest. She swiped it, and my new total was $398.

Three hundred and ninety-eight American dollars.

I blinked, and said, "That's it?!" She said, "Yeah, it only had $5 on it."

Five American dollars.

I blinked again. I'm pretty sure I turned red. I paid the balance, and left.

My friends, I am livid. Tomorrow I am calling Bill to give him a piece of my mind. If you live in Southern Illinois, do NOT go to Reiss Ford. Avoid them like the fucking plague.

Update: I just left them the following message on their website.

On 22 September, I went to your dealership with an ad in my hand stating that I had won one of five prizes. My prize was a $250 WalMart gift card. This evening, on 24 September, I attempted to use that gift card. IT ONLY HAD FIVE DOLLARS ON IT. I cannot believe how close I was to purchasing a brand new 2010 Ford Fusion from Bill Range. I will never come anywhere near your dealership again. Furthermore, I will inform all of my acquaintances within a fifty-mile radius to avoid your dealership. I am absolutely livid, and frankly disappointed that my good impression of your employees has been shattered. 

The Good Left Undone.

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding there what I’d been missing,

But I know…
So I tell myself, I tell myself it’s wrong.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it could live. I walked away now.

But I know…
Not a day goes by that I don’t feel this burn.
There’s a point we pass from which we can’t return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long,
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

All because of you…
All because of you…

All because of you,
I haven’t slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I’ll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

Rise Against

The Sufferer and the Witness

2006 

Kanye West vs Beyonce.

Kanye West : Terrible music. Stupid popped colors. Drinking Hennesy straight from the bottle on national television where all the kids who idolize you can see. Humiliating a young girl in front of the entire world as she wins her first Moon Man. Being such a jackass that even our President admits it out loud. I could go on, but I'm the middle of a writing frenzy.
Score: Negative-inifiniti cool points.

Beyonce: Great singer. Great dancer. Class act. Gave a poor girl her interrupted moment of glory.
Score: A bajillion cool points.

Yes, Kanye, your mother would be very ashamed of you. The higher you climb, the farther you fall. One day, you will wake up to find yourself alone, with nothing but your arrogance and your $12 million-dollar music videos to keep you company.

And so the torment begins.

Today is Day One of THE DIET for myself and the Roomie. Roomie was under the impression that the reason I'd been losing weight lately (not including this past week...I've been naughty) is because for a week or so there, I was on a grits-only kick. She made this observation as I sat with her and her GF eating breakast. They were eating leftover Chinese; I was feasting on grits, toast, and two boiled eggs.

(And before you say anything...grits, when flavored just right, are DELICIOUS. I eat the instant grits, and mix in the following after heating it up: a drop of vanilla extract, a Tsp of sugar, 1/2 Tbsp of butter or margarine, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Yum!!)

So I was telling Mom about this on the phone, and she told me about this diet that she's used. I told Roomie about it and she got all excited about it. So we're gonna motivate each other and get this done.

Last night, for our "last meal", I decided to go all out...and I made THIS. It was heaven!! But there was sooo much food left!! Next time, I'm gonna skip on the broc-stalks and onions...not my cup of tea. For the cheese, I used Colby-Jack and Provologne. For meat, we browned some ground sausage...might throw in a bit more next time.

So, I had breakfast a little while ago. Half a grapefruit, a slice of toast with 1 Tbsp of peanut butter smeared on it, and a cup of tea. I'm not HUNGRY hungry...but my stomach feels odd with so little food in it. I'm used to massive breakfasts. The other day, I made a three-egg omelette. Inside I put two slices of ham, two slice of cheese, and a few strips of bacon. On top of that, I added some shredded cheese. Yummm...

See why I need this diet?? Ha ha.

Twenty-four feels a lot like twenty-three.

The birthday wishes began to trickle in a couple of days ago on Facebook. Sister and Fiance wished me a happy birthday shortly after midnight in my time zone. My mother called me at SIX IN THE FUCKING AY-EM to sing Happy Birthday to me. I'm not entirely sure if I was coherent during that phone call. I only know it wasn't a dream because I checked my call list later when I was more conscious. Dearest Dee also called to sing to me, and then harass me once again about applying for a job at Best Buy, and to shut down any arguments I had against going out on the weekend for my birthday. I believe her exact words were, "...if I have to go over there and drag you out of your house...!" I'm a little scared now.

The cats are being particularly cute and rambunctious this morning, to the point where I must restrain myself from throwing them out a window.

This morning, in addition to the video camera I received from the Fiance last week, I found on my front porch two dozen roses, a teddy bear, a box of chocolate, and three bottles of lavender-scented bath essentials. I hope I can restrain myself from eating all the chocolate before the end of the day.

Also, I should note that for the health-conscious, you can still enjoy the recipe I posted the other day. Simply substitute ground turkey and turkey bacon for the ground beef and bacon, and use low fat American cheese.

A delicious and unhealthy burger for the hungry fat person lurking in your belly.

Fry up some bacon. Set it aside on a plate covered with a paper towel; the paper towel absorbs some of the grease.

Take a pound of ground beef and season it with the following:

Salt
Freshly-ground black pepper
Oregano
Red Pepper flakes
Old Bay seasoning
Chopped/diced/minced garlic

Throw in one egg and mix it all together with your hands.

Make a large meatball in your hands, and flatten it. Make sure it's thin while raw; as it cooks, the circumference shrinks and the patty thickens.

Toss the patty in the pan to fry (or use a grill, whatever you preference). Flip it over; when it's close to being done, put your choice of sliced cheese on the patty so it melts a bit; I like to use both Swiss and American cheddar. If I have any one hand, just before putting down the sliced cheese, I'll sprinkle some freshly-grated Parmesan onto the patty, yum!!

Toast a hamburger bun; I've used sliced wheat bread when buns aren't available. Dress the bread as you see fit. I like to use A1; my room mate goes all out with ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard; on occasion, she'll even add jalapeno peppers and hot sauce on top of all that.

Place the patty on the bread, place the bacon on the patty, and voila!! A burger that isn't very healthy for you, but is nonetheless delicious.

For those who like spice, add more red pepper flakes as you see fit. Heck, throw in some onion powder if you want. What I've just given you is really my own personal preference, though my room mate and her girlfriend don't complain about it. Sometimes, instead of mixing garlic into the beef (or, hell, I'll just leave it be), I'll fry some chopped garlic and mix that in with the Parmesan under the sliced cheese.

Can you tell I like flavor??

The sock that set me free. And healthcare reform.

Yeah, I'm going there.

So today was my going-away for work. We stuffed our faces at Joe's Crab Shack, yum!! And then the inevitable: the presentation of my going-away gift(s).

DM stood up and began to list off my nicknames - - apparently, I have quite a few. Crazy cat lady-in-training, That Senior Airman in Your Office, etc. I received a plaque in the shape of this state, which was really nice. My first and only state-shaped plaque. (My dad has a few.) Then he shared an anecdote about an instance where an individual misheard my nickname, and thought I was called "Dobby". As in the house-elf that idolizes Harry Potter. He went on to explain the mythology of house-elves...that in order to set one free, one must present one with an article of clothing.

This is when I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter. I'm sure some of you can see where this is going.

He presented me with my very own black sock, to set me free from the Air Force. I will cherish this sock forever. I may even frame it.

Now, on to healthcare reform. Someone please tell me what is so evil about it?? I did some brief research (I like to be informed, but hate to delve to deeply for fear of getting sucked into a vortex of politcal jargon that just goes way over my head), and I liked what I saw.

That's right. I'm saying.

I like the sound of this proposed healthcare reform.

And for anyone to compare Obama to Hitler, to call his policies "Nazi" or "socialist"...man, you guys are just so full of, well, spite, for lack of a better word. And obviously have nothing better to do with your time but sit around spinning lovely insults and nasty rumours and what have you.

For someone who is currently shopping around for health insurance for the first time in her adult life...well, I say, bring on the reform!! My family's medical history is interesting. I wouldn't be pleased if I had to put a butt-load of money into a policy, only to be denied healthcare later on down the road for some piddly reason.

Out of reading material.

Damnit. Recently got hooked on The Looking Glass Wars, by Frank Beddor. Think of everything you've ever thought to be "true" concerning the story of a little girl named Alice who fell into a world known as Wonderland. Now but into a jar, seal the lead, and give it a good shake. Throw in a dash of "wtf," and what you have is the true story of Princess Alyss Heart of Wonderland. I read the first book in a day, and read the sequel Seeing Redd the next day. And now I have to wait until November for the friggin' sequel, damnit.

There have been a couple of *gulp* deadly blasts in the vicinity of the Fiance's workplace. The one that occurred today was at a different base, so he wasn't affected, but it was still the same city. There was one late last week that he actually felt in the room where they were having a meeting. It blew out the window in said room. He and his co-workers living outside the base are no longer allowed to walk to work, they have to be driven everywhere. The Taliban has claimed responsibility; they've promised to cause as much disruption as they can to the presidential and provincial elections coming up this week, in the hopes of discouraging Afghan citizens from heading to the polls.

There's no point in me freaking out. It accomplishes nothing. There's nothing I can do about any of this, so I just try to focus on positive things. At this moment he's sitting in his room playing Grand Theft Auto IV and cursing up a storm every time his character dies. And that's the way I like it.

Let me grab my coffee...ugh...

My room mate bought some clay last night, and she's working on a figurine of Maleficent for me, ha ha!! (For the ignorant, she is the baddest Disney villain ever, appearing in Sleeping Beauty.) I am making the boat that Jack Sparrow sails at the end of the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, ha ha.

My birthday is in nine days. My going-away from work is tomorrow. The end.

There's gonna be chaaaaaanges!!

Not grammatically correct, I know. But who caaaaaares...

Today was my last day at work. My active duty service ends next month, and hopefully from there the transition to the reserves is smoooooooth. I finished up registering for the fall semester today. I am officially a full-time student at my two-year college of choice. I'm signed up for History of Religion, World Civilization I, European Civilization I, and Educational Psychology. I'm stoked!! I am absolutely taking advantage of the Post-9/11 GI Bill (Chapter 33).

I suddenly have all this free time open to me. There's so much I could do!! Wash my damn car, and get the oil changed. Lay out in the sun and tan my legs (the part of my body most resistant to the sun). Get in shape. (I love Wii Fit, ha ha.) Finally finish unpacking. (Rich, I don't wanna hear it.)

Tomorrow, I go to buy my books. Hooray!!

Quiet reflections as I soar through the clouds.

Well, I was actually sitting semi-comfortably on an airplane. Icarus, I am not.

I've come to realize that I am not particularly fond of myself. My flaws become more clear to me as each day passes. I see myself reflected in the eyes of those around me, and I don't like what I see, especially when I am under stress. I am petty, whiny, selfish. I snap and lash out at others. Despite my struggle to be a better person, I can see little beyond my own wants and needs.

No one is perfect...but some are closer than others, and I'm more of an "other" than "some".

How trivial it all seems, when I write it down here, express it all in a handful sentences. It does no justice to the hours I have spent pondering the person that I am. I do what I want, go my own way always, with little regard to how my actions affect those nearest and dearest. Oh, I know I'm not the only one like this, that I too have been affected in such a way, but that doesn't make it any less wrong in me.

And for the record, Chicago-O'Hare Airport SUCKS.

An open letter to Wal-Mart shoppers.

Dear Wal-Mart shoppers,

Isn't it just lovely how Wal-Mart is like a mini-version of our wonderful country, so full of diverse people of different races and ethnicity and language and religion?? Just marvelous.

That's where the pros of the Wal-Mart shopper end for me.

Would it kill you to shower before leaving your house?? To put on some jeans instead of wearing ridiculous pajama bottoms?? To take the damn rollers out of your hair before appearing in public??

Children, because of the amount new things they are constantly being exposed to, need more sleep than adults. So why are you taking your child to the store at 10 o' clock at night to buy paint supplies??

Most Wal-Marts are open 24/7. This is convenient for those who do shift work. But an overflowing cart of groceries at 9 PM?? C'mon.

And I could start in on carts being left in the middle of the parking lot, but I've ranted on this before, and I don't have the energy for it right now.

If you are standing in the middle of the aisle, and I am coming towards you with a cart, and we make eye contact...would it KILL you to step aside for a moment to let me through?? Don't stare at me like I've got three heads and sneer at me when I say, "Excuse me," just get the fuck out of my way.

Wal-Mart shopper...you suck.

Yours truly,
The Dread Pirate Davi

Exactly one year from today...

...I will be a Mrs.

I love you, babe.

In other news, I will be 24 in 27 days. How does that make me feel?? Adult-ish. I don't approve.

I will be flying out to Disney tomorrow. Try not to miss me while I'm gone.

Crazy wedding dream.

Another wedding dream. This time, though, my second cousin Frances was getting married. And here in my state, for some odd reason. So I showed a little early at the location, and she was sitting there in a pretty white dress with a red sash. It's been years since I've seen her, but we greeted each other as if no time has passed. Then I said hello to another second cousin and Frances' cousin, Zulmarie (who just got married herself, as a matter of fact). Zulmarie asked me when I got in, and I said, "Oh, I live here." She and another nosy woman expressed surprise that I would willingly subject myself to living in the Midwest of all places. The nosy woman even expressed disdain, the hag. I think, in the dream, I wanted to slap her.

I still remember the surprise I felt when I found out I had orders to this base. My dream sheet had all east coast bases: Ft Meade, Andrews, Bolling, McGuire, Seymour-Johnson, Pope, MacDill, and Patrick. I had no illusions that the Air Force would take my wishes into consideration, but I held out hope. And then I saw my base listed on the personnel site. I called my dad and asked him where the hell it was, and he told me Midwestern State. I was shocked. And irritated. My dad made some calls, and said that a friend of his could get me orders to Georgia instead. But I decided to take my chances out here, after almost swapping out for Grand Forks, North Dakota, to follow some boy after breaking off my engagement (yeah, I was young and naive; tech school does that to you).

I certainly am glad I came here. I wouldn't have met Rich otherwise.

An update on an airman's tragedy.

This website clears up some misinformation, and gives an update on Airman First Class Read's condition as he travels the long road to recovery.

I just got my Certificate of Eligibility for the Post-9/11 GI Bill in the mail! I have just enough time to enroll in school!

My first wedding-related dream. Or nightmare. Whatever.

I'm in a house, and suddenly we realize that this is supposed to be my wedding day. I turn to Rich and ask him to go outside and pick some flowers for me. While he is doing this, I realize that nothing is prepared. I have no DJ, no cake, no reception set up. Rich has seen me in my dress now before we've even walked down the aisle.

I try to force myself to wake up, hoping this is a dream, that I can have the chance to do this right. (I've done this in many a dream. It really only works in my worse nightmares.) Rich comes back inside with four flowers. They're simple, but so pretty and so perfect. I smile at the love of my life.

Before I know it, I'm being preceded by a wedding party not of my choosing, being given a way by some random fat guy that I've never met. Then, thankfully, I wake up.

I think this means I have some anxiety where the wedding planning and organization is concerned. Which is definitely the case. But I like the part where Rich picks those flowers for me...

One day, shortly after we began dating, he took me for a long drive, knowing that I was stressed about current events and wanting to give me a respite. Before turning around to head back, he pulled over on the side of the road and hopped out of the car real quick. He waded a few feet through a thick field, and plucked a yellow flower for me. He got back in the car and gave it to me, and I just sat there for several minutes, staring at the flower, completely blown away by the romanticism, the spontaneity of his action. I kept that flower for months in my car, between cup holders, until it was so dried up that you couldn't tell what it had been. Then, I took the dried petals, crumbled them in my hand, closed my eyes to make a silent wish, and blew the remains into the wind.

I love him.

Dear Shawna Johnson.

I forgive you. After almost four months, I woke up this morning feeling that the time has finally come when I can think of you and not want to throw up everywhere. If I see you in the parking lot at Target, I won't run you down in my car. If I round a corner and come face to face with you, I won't shred your face into pieces. If I see you, I will simply walk away. I am starting a new chapter in my life, and you, what you have done to me, has no place in it. I am ready to move on with my life and be happy.

I feel good.

You couldn't pay me enough...

...to re-enlist after reading this.

Nope. Not happening.

I quit.

Srsly. I fucking quit. I am worthless. I can't do anything right.

Can I please just spend the rest of my days vegetating in my bed?? I just don't wanna do this anymore. I can't. I'm not cut out to be a responsible adult, and I never will be.

Creeping Chrysler.

I exited Wal Mart in my cute heels, cute skirt, and cute shirt, all dolled up because of TAP class this week. I was wearing a jacket earlier, but didn't feel like wearing it to Wal Mart, wear I went to get a manicure and pedicure. Yeah, I get my nails done at Wal Mart. They did a great job for a great price, so bite me.

But I digress.

I exited Wal Mart and strolled towards my car in my cute heels. I passed a Chrysler luxury sedan sitting in the cross walk. The kind that I always mistake for a Cadillac if I don't see the Chrysler emblem.

I arrived at my car and dug around for keys in my ginormous black hole of a purse. As I did this, the same Chrysler pulled into the parking spot next to me. My subconscious made note of this. I hopped into my car, and the driver's side window of the Chrysler rolled down, revealing an attractive and well-dressed man who appeared to be in his late twenties. He waved at me to roll my window down, so I did, assuming he was looking for directions or something.

"You have nice shoes." Huh??

"Oh, thanks."

"What's your name?" Oh, jeezus.

Hesitation. "Davi."

He laughs. "Are you lying to me?"

"No, my name is Davi."

"Are you married, Davi?"

I laugh nervously. "I'm engaged."

"Oh, congratulations."

Half-grin. "Thanks."

"You have a nice smile."

"Thanks."

He rolled his window up and drove away. I sat there, flabbergasted that this individual had followed me across the parking lot to compliment me on my shoes and enquire after my marital status. And what is hilarious to me is, I have seen this guy before. True story. I KNOW I have seen him around the base. Weeeeiiiiiird.

And that is my strange encounter for the week.

GOING TO SEE HARRY POTTER TONIGHT WOOT

MINE.

Hey. Ladies.

You know Rich?? That sexy man with the sick tattoo on his chest??

He's mine.

All mine.

And if you try to pull any shenanigans, I will happily tear your eyes out and feed them to my ravenous kittehs.

Hooray!!

Lock jaw.

For some reason, I've been clenching my teeth for the last couple of hours. Now my jaw hurts.

Thank you, Anonymous, for the tip. STLWed.com should prove to be a useful tool.

My toes are jacked. Time for a pedicure.

Today I sat through Day One (of four) of Transition Assistance Program (TAP) class at the Airmen and Family Readiness Center. It's for service members who are separating/retiring, and is there to give them guidance, advice, tools, etc, for transitioning to civilian life and the civilian job market. As they were going on and on about marketing yourself and your skills and such, I pondered on the one and only job I plan on applying for, the civilian slot within the office I am currently assigned to.

Most would see this as disastrous to my future. The Fiance certainly thinks. I can imagine the fit my father will throw upon reading this. Why am I limiting myself, you ask??

Here's the deal. Many months ago, it was my desire to apply for this job. However as time rolled on, I began to feel that despite my security clearance and real-world experience in this particular area of my Air Force Specialty Code (MOS, for you soldiers), I wouldn't stand a chance in the interview/hiring process. I mean, to go from clerk (don't let that inadequate word lead you to underestimate my real duties) to alternate manager after only a year-and-a-half in the office?? Who was I kidding??

So very, very recently, I decided to abandon all hope and turn my attention towards applying for the post-9/11 GI Bill and going to school full time. The Fiance and Parents were one-hundred-percent supportive of this. My goal was to get my bachelor's in three years or less.

Then the new leadership came to visit.

I drew the short-straw and ended up being the one to brief said leadership on what our office does, what we've accomplished, and the challenges we face. One of those challenges being that, of all the similar office in the command across the nation, we have the most responsibility in our specific area of comm; HOWEVER, we manage said responsibility with the least amount of personnel. I mentioned that during our recent command-level inspection out-brief, the inspectors had placed emphasis on filling the open civilian slot for continuity purposes.

The mentioning sparked a conversation between the bigheads, and before I knew it, I was being encouraged to apply for the slot by no less than the squadron commander and the group commander. "Change one uniform for the other," as the superintendent put it.

Well. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. But, armed with the blessing and approval of leadership, I contacted the civilian liaison for hiring, and found out the job will be re-advertised in the immediate future. So, I am currently putting together my resume to post on the World Wide Web. And when the job become public, I will "self-nominate", in my flight commander's words.

Why the change of heart?? Well, it seems that I do have a shot in hell of getting the job. And, for crying out loud, if I get it, it's an actual salary. And I enjoy what I currently do, I'm good at it, and it's a good working environment.

HOWEVER...

...should I fail to secure the position, I will not rebound and go in search of a similar position elsewhere. I have no desire to start over in that area, and even less desire to pursue a general career in IT. There is no civilian equivalent for this area of expertise outside of the DoD; the same applies to the Fiance. Neither of us has any desire to continue on in IT for much longer, much less limit ourselves to living within the immediate vicinity of a military installation for the rest of our lives.

So, if I get the job, hooray. I'll work full time, go to school part time, and hopefully move on from IT for good in the next few years. If not, then I'll go to school full time, get my degree sooner, and have the freedom to leave the area whenever the hell we want to in the future.

Does that make any sense?? No?? Whatever. I digress.

So I'm sitting there pondering this job. And, I don't, thinking about all that work waiting for me when I'm done with TAP...all those duties...I just feel sort of drained and numb and...not at all enthusiastic about it. I enjoy the job, but I wonder if I'm just a little burned out??

Terin is totally invited.

So, as I've already shared with you, a co-worker had agreed to brew up some of his apple wine for myself and the Boss Lady to use as wedding favors. About $40 will get me 25 bottles. Pretty sweet deal, huh?? That comes out to $1.60 for a bottle of yummy home-brewed apple wine, bottled and corked. I'll have to figure in labels, too, for the bottles, but I shouldn't be breaking the bank over this.

Thus far, the most expensive things I'm dealing with are the dress (which is couture, ooh la la) at $1,118 before alterations and such, and the reception site at Pere Marquette Lodge and Conference Center, which charges $45 a plate for the Silver Wedding Package, their least expensive one, which includes the following:

• Champagne toast for the head table
• Mirrored tile centerpieces with votive candles (I wonder if I can choose the color??)
• All guest, cake, gift, and guest book tables
• White table linen (maybe if there's enough money leftover, I could throw in black and red napkins)
• All china, glass, and silver
• Dance floor and skirted DJ station (To book a DJ, or not book a DJ??)
• Complimentary night's stay for bride and groom for weddings of 100 people or more (I was originally aiming for that, but that would put a serious strain on the budget. It would be cheaper to just pay for the room ourselves.)
• Cake cutting service (I did mention my cupcakes, right??)
• 10 % discount on Sunday Breakfast Brunch for wedding guests (applies to Saturday evening weddings...oh, wait, like mine)

The menu options are decent for the price, and there's a four-hour hosted bar that serves more than just cheap beer and boxed wine. Srsly, there's Bacardi, Smirnoff, Seagram's, etc. And they serve wine from their on-site winery. I'm hoping to get a wine-tasting in when I visit.

And who can forget the 18% service charge (Can you say "gratuity"?? Check out The Waiter's blog post on tipping and how it corrupts our world.) coupled with applicable tax?? Hooray.

I've been using the The Knot for all my wedding planning needs. I first came across it a few years ago when my cousin Christine got married, she used it herself. The Boss Lady is using it as well, and we love what we've seen on there so far. I even made up a wedding budget on there using their awesome budget tool, AND I have my very own semi-personalized to-do checklist.

As I said, I have my heart set on that apple wine for the favors. But then I started looking at different wedding favors on the site today...and I am torn, I tell you, torn!!

First off, I REALLY REALLY want this in burgundy for myself and the bridesmaids.

Pretty!!

But they also have coasters, and candy, and on and on and on...

I will definitely be investing my money in one of these. Because if anything, even the tiniest thing goes wrong the day, I will probably blow a gasket. I'm such a drama queen sometimes.

I saw a tattoo cover-up kit advertised on there. I'm still debating whether or not to cover up the two on my shoulders, but this one was so-so in the reviews. If I go that route, I'll need to find one that matches my skin tone, instead of one that'll leave a pink patch on my shoulder, as it did for one reviewer.

I was browsing online for pearl chokers, not really holding out much hope that I'd find one in red. I might just commission my mom to make something for me, she makes jewelry as a hobby, and has even sold a few pieces. She's pretty good.

And if I may, here's the dress Dee Dee is looking to wear (won't let me do a screen shot, gr). Becky wants something to show off her legs. And I want this dress for the rehearsal dinner!! Hawtness.

Alright, that's my wedding vomit for today. TTFN.

THE DRESS...and other details.

THIS IS THE DRESS I WILL GET MARRIED IN.

*drool* And no veil. Definitely no veil. It's perfect as is. I would love to find a wine-colored pearl choker to wear with it, or something similar. Definitely a choker-type necklace. And I wanna buy this beautiful ring from Premier Designs Jewelry for myself and the bridesmaids (Dee Dee and Becky) to wear on our right hands. (When I get a picture of it, I'll post it on here.) It's a large rectangle-shaped black stone surrounded by small white stones, and would look PERFECT with my dress and whatever dresses they pick out (they will wear black, but I'm letting them choose the style that best suits their figures).

So, my colors are gonna be red and black. Instead of a cake, I'm thinking...cupcakes. Red velvet, and dark chocolate, both with cream cheese icing. Also, as favors for the guests, a guy in my office has agreed to brew some bottles of apple wine for me. It was totally my idea, but I am willingly sharing it with the Boss Lady, who got engaged one month before me.

It will be summer wedding. I want the wedding part to be outdoors. We have asked his best friend (and Becky's boyfriend), Deacon Osborne, to officiate. It will be a brief, non-religious ceremony (Fiance is an atheist, I am vague), and then I want us to head indoors for the reception. I want to keep the guest list small. I'm going to be inviting between 60 and 100 people in the hopes that about 40 to 50 of them will show up. (I have learned, after many failed party attempts, to always over-invite if you want a decent showing.) Dee Dee and I will be going sometime in August to scope out the potential wedding/reception site.

Wedding details aside, I couldn't be happier. I love my ring, but I love him more. And now I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him.

Who says you can't have a second chance at happiness and dreams-come-true??

My apologies.

For the absence. But, really, how many people read this??

The Fiance was in town from the 7th to the 22nd of June. He flew in several hours late, which meant I had the pleasure of driving out to the airport twice. We swung by the living establishment of Deacon Osborne (no religious affiliation) so that he and the Fiance could catch up before we headed to the rural town we have recently taken up residence in.

We left Friday to drive a few hours north to see his friend Blue. The next day, we drove the rest of the way to Chicago. We ordered room service and stayed up watching TV. The next morning, we headed out to track down Deluxe Tattoo (which currently employs Hannah Aitchinson of LA Ink fame). I got tatted up by Chris Smith, the newest member of their crew and an entertaining fellow. I told him what I was looking to get, he got a little creative, and this is what I got:

I LOVE IT. It's my first color tattoo.

Afterward, we ate at a "meh" seafood place. Then, I managed to convince the Fiance to take me to the Navy Pier, a place I have wanted to visit since I first laid eyes on it four-and-a-half years ago. We had a BLAST.

We drove back home on Monday. We got in late afternoon/early evening, and I called Dee Dee to see if she wanted to go get a mani/pedi touch-up. She was busy, so we made plans to do it the next evening. When I got off the phone, he was standing in the doorway of his game room and said, "Come here." I went into the room, and he stood there facing me with his hands behind his back. I knew then what was coming, but I tried to play it cool. I walked out of that room with a ring on my hand.

We hit up a hibachi/sushi restaurant that night to celebrate.

And now I just have to wait three more months for him to come home.

This is about to turn into a wedding blog, ha ha.

How low have I sunk??

Oh, about as low as someone in my position could sink. I'll be on hiatus.

There goes my heart again.

He's in the air on his way to DC, and onward halfway 'round the world from there. Three-and-a-half more months.

Whoever said parting is sweet sorrow can suck a dick.

Don't know when I'll have time to sit and blog before next week, so here's a quick update from my phone for those of you who read this. I got a new tattoo on Sunday, pictures coming soon. We spent the weekend in Chicago and it was a good time. All four of us are happy in the new house. And... I am engaged

I'm still alive.

True story.

Epic combo of Chi-town and a new tat. Pictures and updates coming soon.

Did you know "Chicago" comes from a Native American word meaning "smelly onion"??

Flags of our fathers.

Oh, dear. Aren't we touchy??First, I want to stay…stop referring to the “Hispanic community” as a single entity. I am a member of the Hispanic community, however I am also a legal citizen and an active duty member of the armed forces. So don’t lump us all into the same category and then accuse all of us of disrespecting this nation that I defend, that my aunt defends, that my father and uncles and grandfather defended. As I said, I am a legal citizen, I have been since birth. My parents are legal citizens. My entire family, uncles and aunts and cousins and what have you, is made up of legal citizens of the United States. And we have no complaints.

Secondly, perhaps the business owner was not aware of the guidelines governing flags?? I mean, at least he was flying the US flag, which means he must be happy and proud to be living here. And obviously he was flying the Mexican flag to show where he originally came from. Yes, he was doing it wrong. He should not have either flag above the other, because the US and Mexico are two sovereign nations, neither bowing to the other. Really, would it have been so hard to knock on the guy’s door and say, “Uh, dude, you’re doing it wrong.” This “veteran” that tore down that Mexican flag?? I am ashamed to have to think of him as a fellow veteran. He’s an idiot. He does not represent what this country is about…diversity.

I just don’t understand why we all have to conform to this perfect, American mold. I don’t hang American flags outside my home, I don’t run around berating people for speaking their native tongues on American soil. I show my patriotism in other ways. I serve my country honorably. I vote. I never forget the sacrifices of those who came before us. And if I hang up a Puerto Rican flag, don’t criticize me. That flag, to me, is a representation of my ethnicity and its rich history and culture.

My dad got me a neat little car decal this past summer when we were in Puerto Rico. It’s still sitting in my wallet, because I’m saving it for when I have a nicer car. It’s a Puerto Rican flag…next to an American flag. Beneath it the words read, “Orgulloso del las dos.” In Enlish: “Proud of the both.” I don’t think that business owner meant anything malicious by flying the Mexican flag above the American flag. I think he was just flying the both to say to the world around him, “Orgulloso de las dos."

Coming to America, making this country your home, shouldn't mean that you have to wipe from your mind and your heart where you came from.