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Friday, December 23, 2011

Skyrim...

...has claimed another victim.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Random question.

When two opposing sides both fight and shed blood and commit atrocities in the name of god, how do you know which one, if either, actually does have god on their side?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 7: After Dinner Mint Triangles

[From The Pampered Chef(r) Season's Best Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010)]

This cool and creamy dessert is the perfect way to end a meal.

Crust
2 pkg (10 oz/283 g each) fudge-covered mint cookies
1/2 cup (125 mL) butter (1 stick)
1-1/4 cup (300 mL) semi-sweet chocolate morsels

Filling & Topping
10 oz (300 g) vanilla almond bark or confectioner's coating candy melts
1 pkg (8 oz/250 g) cream cheese, softened
1 tsp (5 mL) peppermint extract
6 drops green food coloring
1/4 cup (50 mL) semi-sweet chocolate morsels

  1. For crust, place half of the cookies in large resealable plastic bag; crush into very fine crumbs using flat end of Meat Tenderizer. Place crumbs into Stainless (4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl; repeat with remaining cookies. Place butter and chocolate morsels in Small Batter Bowl; microwave, uncovered, on HIGH 1 - 1-1/2 minute or until butter is melted.Stir until smooth. Add chocolate mixture to crumbs; mix until all crumbs are moistened. Spread evenly over Medium Sheet Pan; using hands, firmly pack evenly into pan. Place in freezer at least 10 minutes.
  2. Meanwhile, for filling, place almond bark into Large Micro-Cooker(r). Microwave, uncovered, on HIGH 2-3 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds with Classic Scraper until bark is mostly melted. Remove from microwave; stir until smooth. Whisk in extract and food coloring until smooth. Add bark; whisk well. Spread filling over crust; set aside.
  3. Place remaining chocolate morsels into (1-cup/250-mL) Prep Bowl; microwave uncovered, on HIGH 30-45 seconds or until melted, stirring every 15 seconds. Place small resealable plastic bag into Measure-All(r) Cup. Pour chocolate into corner of bag. Twist top of bag; secure. Cut corner off of bag. Drizzle chocolate over filling. Let stand until chocolate is firm. Cut dessert into 16 rectangles (four rows of four rectangles each). Cut in half diagonally to make 32 triangles.
Yield: 32 triangles (16 servings)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 6: Warm Spumoni Swirl Brownies


[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Rich chocolate brownies are swirled with cherry- and pistachio-flavored cream cheeses for a simple, festive dessert

½ cup (125 mL) plus ¾ tsp (4 mL) vegetable oil, divided
¼ cup (50 mL) shelled pistachios
1 jar (10 oz) maraschino cherries, drained (about 30 cherries), divided
8 oz (250 g) cream cheese, divided
¼ cup (50 mL) powdered sugar
2 tsp (10 mL) almond extract
5 drops each green and red food coloring
1 pkg (18-21 oz or 450 g) fudge brownie mix
3 eggs
¼ cup (50 mL) water
Additional pistachios, coarsely chopped (optional)

1.       Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190 degrees Celsius). Lightly brush Large Bar Pan with 2/4 tsp (4 mL) of the oil using Chef’s Silicone Basting Brush. Grate pistachios with Rotary Grater. Finely chop cherries with Food Chopper; blot dry with paper towels.
2.       In Small Batter Bowl, combine cream cheese and sugar; whisk until smooth. Place half of cream cheese mixture into (2-cup/500-mL) Prep Bowl. Add pistachios, almond extract and green food coloring; mix well. To remaining cream cheese mixture, add half of the cherries and red food coloring; mix well. Attach open star tip to Easy Accent® Decorator; fill with both cream cheese mixtures.
3.       In Stainless (4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl, combine brownie mix, eggs, remaining oil, remaining cherries and water; mix well. Pour batter into pan. Pipe cream cheese mixtures lengthwise over batter in four rows. Gently swirl using flat edge of Small Spreader, creating a marbled effect. Bake 18-20 minutes or until wooden pick inserted into center comes out with moist fudgy crumbs attached.
4.       Remove pan from oven to Stackable Cooling Rack; cool 2-3 minutes. Cut into 24 squares. If desired, drizzle with melted white chocolate and sprinkle with additional chopped pistachios. Serve warm.

Yield: 24 servings

Monday, December 5, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 5: Caramel-Banana Ravioli


[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

No one will ever guess that it takes only five ingredients to create this rich and satisfying dessert!

2 firm medium bananas
3 rolls (1.7 oz each) milk chocolate-covered chewy caramels, unwrapped (24 pieces total)
2 pkg (8 oz each) refrigerated crescent rolls with no seams
1 Tbsp (15 mL) sugar
1/3 cup (75 mL) Caramel Sauce

1.       Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degrees Celsius). Lightly brush Large Bar Pan with vegetable oil. Using Santoku Knife, slice bananas diagonally into twenty-four ¼-in-thick (6-mm_ slices. Cut caramels in half.
2.       Unroll one package of dough onto bottom of pan, gently shaping to form a rectangle. (Do no stretch. Dough will not cover entire bottom of pan.) Arrange banana slices over dough in for rows  of six each, spacing ¾ in (2 cm) apart. Top each banana slice with two caramel halves. Unroll remaining dough directly over filling, matching edges and shaping to fit.Press firmly around filling to seal; pinch together any tears.
3.       Using Pastry Cutter fitted with fluted wheel, trim and discard edges of dough; cut into 24 ravioli. Using Mini-Serving Spatula, separate ravioli over pan. Add sugar to Flour/Sugar Shaker; sprinkle over ravioli. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Remove ravioli to Stackable Cooling Rack; cool 2 minutes. Place on serving plates; drizzle with sauce.

Yield: 24 ravioli (12 servings)

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 4: Chocolate-Raspberry Cookie Trifle

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Chocolate-raspberry ganache, white chocolate mousse filling and vanilla wafers create appealing colors and textures that make this trifle great for any occasion.

1 cup (250 mL) milk
1 pkg (3.3 oz or 102 g) white chocolate or vanilla instant pudding and pie filling
1 container (16 oz) frozen whipped topping (6-1/2 cups/1.5 L), thawed, divided
1 cup (250 mL) milk chocolate morsels
1 jar (12 oz or 250 mL) seedless raspberry jam, divided
1 bag (12 oz or 340 g) frozen sweetened raspberries (not in syrup), thawed
1 box (12 oz or 340 g) vanilla wafers, divided


  1. For filling, in Stainless (4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl, combine milk and pudding mix; whisk until pudding mixture begins to thicken. Reserve ½ cup (125 mL) of the whipped topping in Measure-All® Cup. Gently fold remaining whipped topping into pudding mixture. Cover and refrigerate.
  2. For ganache, combine chocolate morsels, reserved whipped topping and half of the jam in Small Batter Bowl. Microwave on HIGH 40-60 seconds or until melted, stirring after each 20-second interval. Stir until smooth. Reserve ¼ cup (50 mL) in (1-cup/250-mL) Prep Bowl for garnish.
  3. Place remaining jam into another Prep Bowl. Microwave on HIGH 30-60 seconds or until melted. Place berries into Classic Batter Bowl. Pour jam over berries; stir gently. Set aside 16 cookies for garnish; break remaining cookies in half.
  4. To assemble trifle, place one-third of the broken cookies into Trifle Bowl. Layer one-third of the raspberry mixture evenly over cookies. Top with one-third of the pudding mixture and one-third of the ganache. Repeat layers two more times, finish with a smooth layer of ganache.
  5. Dip reserved whole cookies halfway into reserved ganache; place into top of trifle.
Yield: 16 servings

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The girl cat's assassination attempt.

I opened the dryer to remove a load of laundry, and before I had even straightened back up with an armful of clothes, the girl cat came running to jump into the dryer. She ALWAYS does this. So I started throwing wet clothes into the dryer on top of her. She didn't like that and got the hell out.

I put a load into the washer, started it, and rushed back to my seat on the couch. Little did I know that Girl Cat was lurking under the side table, hidden behind a shopping bag. She came streaking out, timing it perfectly, and tripped me! I yelped, "Oh my God!" and threw my hands out in front of me, landing ungracefully onto the couch. If I hadn't reacted so quickly, I might have busted my head on the coffee table!

A few minutes later a bleary-eyed Fiance emerged from hibernation in his Man Cave, and inquired about the commotion that had awoken him from his slumber. Girl Cat, hearing her master, came prancing out of the kitchen, her belly fat swaying comically from side to side. I pointed at the assassin and told him, "Your cat tried to kill me!" I related the events described in the previous paragraph, and he just looked at me in that bleary-eyed and unimpressed manner, and responded, "Why don't you stop acting so goofy?" Having said that, he turned and went back into his Cave to hibernate for a few more hours.

I suspect a conspiracy.

Batter Bowl Mix Gift Ideas for under $20!

Are you in the St Louis/Scott Air Force Base are and trying to find some new gift ideas for this holiday season? These cute bowls are $17.00 (or 5 bowls for $75) and I will fill them and have them ready to go for you! Family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, teachers, gift exchanges, etc; whomever you're shopping for, consider giving them one of these bowls!

Order by December 12th, and I can have them ready for pick-up at my house on December 19th, between 10 AM and 5 PM. If you need to schedule another pick-up time, just let me know.

Save time this holiday season, give them something they can keep on using, and let me do the work for you! Choose from one of these four recipes:

Celebration Cookie Mix
A great gift idea for teachers and coworkers! Cranberries, chocolate morsels and pecan look lovely when layered in our Small Batter Bowl.

Batter Bowl Brownie Mix
Simply layer the brownie ingredients like sand art, and give it to the chocolate lover in your life! 

Cowboy Chili Mix
A hearty gift that will stick to their ribs. Perfect for coaches and football fans!
 
Harvest Pumpkin Bread Mix
An excellent fall and winter gift! The recipient of this mix will think of you fondly when baking and savoring these spiced pumpkin loaves.


Each bowl will include a ribbon and a gift tag with the recipe.

E-mail me today to order one of these neat gifts!

Yule Recipes, Day 3: Decadent Chocolate Hazelnut Torte

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Grated hazelnuts give this cake an interesting flavor and texture.

Nonstick cooking spray with flour
3/4 cup (175 mL) whole blanched hazelnuts without skins, divided
1 small pkg (9 oz.250 g) devil's food cake mix
1 jar (13 oz or 400 g) chocolate hazelnut spread, divided
1/2 cup (125 mL) sour cream
1 egg
1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided (3 cups/750 mL)

  1. Preheat ove to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (180 degrees Celsius). Spray one Torte Pan with nonstick cooking spray with flour. Place an 8-in (20-cm) circle of Parchment Paper over center of pan. Using Rotary Grater, grate 1/2 cup (125 mL) of the hazelnuts into Stainless (4-qt/4 L) Mixing Bowl. Add cake mix, 1/3 cup (75 mL) of the hazelnut spread, sour cream and egg; mix well with Small Mix ‘N Scraper®. Pour batter into pan; spread evenly. Bake 12-14 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
  2. Remove pan from over to Stackable Cooling Rack; let stand 2 minutes. Invert cake onto cooling rack; remove pan and parchement. Cool 10 minutes. Transfer cake well-side up to Cake Pedestal.
  3. Meanwhile, for filling, combine remaining hazelnut spread and 1-1/2 cup (375 mL) of the whipped topping in Classic Batter Bowl; mix until smooth with Mix ‘N Scraper®. Spread filling evenly into well of cake until Small Spreader. Attach open star tip Easy Accent® Decorator; fill with remaining whipped topping. Pipe whipped topping over filling in a lattice pattern; grate remaining hazelnuts over cake.
Yield: 16 servings

Friday, December 2, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 2: Easy Limoncello

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

This classic Italian after-dinner liqueur is prepared quickly in the microwave with fresh lemons and lemon sorbet.

3 lemons
1 carton (14 oz) of lemon sorbet (1 ¾ cups/425 mL), softened
1 cup (250 mL) citrus-flavored vodka
2/3 cup (150 mL) of sugar

  1. Avoiding white pith, lightly peel lemons using Serrated Peeler. Thinly slice lemon zest with Santoku Knife. Place lemon zest, sorbet, vodka, and sugar in Large Micro-Cooker®. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 5-7 minutes or until just starting to simmer (do not boil). Carefully remove from microwave; cool 10 minutes.
  2. Strain limoncello into Small Batter Bowl using (5-in/13-cm) Strainer. Serve over ice in four Dots Martini Glasses.

Yield: 4 servings

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Yule Recipes, Day 1: Pomegranate-Ginger Cooler

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

This colorful and refreshing cocktail can be enjoyed year-round!

1 4-in (10 cm) piece of peeled fresh ginger root
1 can (12 oz) of frozen pomegranate-cherry juice concentrate, thawed
5 or 6 limes
3 cups (750 mL) of chilled club soda
1 bottle (750 mL) of sparkling wine such as spumante
4 cups (1 L) ice plus additional for serving

  1. Using Food Chopper, finely chop ginger root. Place ginger root and juice concentrate into Large Micro-Cooker®. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 6-7 minutes or until mixture comes to a boil. Carefully remove from microwave; cool 10 minutes. Meanwhile, juice limes with Juicer to measure ¼ cup (50 mL).
  2. Using (5-in/13-cm) Strainer, strain pomegranate mixture and lime juice into Family-Size Quik-Stir® Pitcher discard ginger. Slowly add club soda and sparkling wine; plunge gently to mix. Carefully add ice; plunge gently. Place additional ice in eight Dots Stemware glasses; pour beverage over ice. (For non-alcoholic version, substitute an additional 3 cups of club soda for the sparkling wine.)

Yield: 8 servings

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Preview of Yule Recipes: Edited!!

Here's a list of the recipes I'll be sharing over the next 12 25 days:
  • Pomegranate-Ginger Cooler
  • Easy Limoncello
  • Decadent Chocolate-Hazelnut Torte
  • Chocolate-Raspberry Cookie Trifle
  • Caramel-Banana Ravioli
  • Warm Spumoni Swirl Brownies
  • After-Dinner Mint Triangles
  • Mini Chocolate Tiramisu Cakes
  • Taffy Apple Tartlets
  • Lemon Gingertinis
  • Chocolate-Peanut Butter Crunch Bars
  • Apple-Ginger Egg Rolls
  • Glazed Lemon Cupcakes with Raspberries
  • Warm Chocolate-Ginger Cake
  • Truffle Brownie Cups
  • Upside-Down Caramel Apple Pie
  • Spiced Pumpkin Mini Loaves
  • Rosemary-Citrus Champagne Cocktails
  • Gingerbread Trifle
  • Cinnamon Buns
  • Spiced Apple Cider
  • Taffy Apple Pizza
  • Coffee House Cookies
  • Tiramisu Brownie Trifle
  • Apple Berry Salsa with Cinnamon Chips
    That's right, people. Twenty-five days of recipes. I'm excited. Look for the first one at midnight!

    Tuesday, November 29, 2011

    Post # 400, wherein I rage against the chat-n-cut.

    Happy 400th post blah blah blah whatever.

    We were at the Bread Co this morning for some delicious coffee, and right before approaching the register, Fiance informed that while I'd been engrossed in a riveting round of Canfield (a card game) on my phone, some woman wearing gym gear with her hair did and her make-up perfectly applied had performed a chat-n-cut on us. Naturally, I was irritated. Fiance was merely amused by it, but I berated him for not saying something to the woman. He was completely unfazed, and I had my coffee in hand, so I let it go.

    But I just want to say this. There is only ONE scenario where cutting is acceptable. If you are meeting a friend for lunch, and they are already in line and they are offering to pay for your meal as well as theirs, it is acceptable to join them in their place in line. Now, if they beat you to the meeting location but it was already agreed upon prior that YOU would be paying, their ass better wait for you before getting in line.

    But meeting up with a friend after they're already in line, jumping in behind them, and then paying separately? To that I say, fuck you. That is RUDE. Get your sneaky ass to the back of line where it belongs. I was in line first, I've been waiting longer than you, and I'll be DAMNED if you just jump in front of me like you own the goddamn place or your time is far more precious than mine.

    I wish Fiance hadn't told me about it. It's bothering the shit out of me now. I hope that hag breaks a nail on the treadmill.

    Sunday, November 27, 2011

    CYBER MONDAY: Stoneware

    In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the final of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Stoneware on pages 26 - 29 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]



    Spend $20, get any rub for FREE. Spend $40, get any two rubs for FREE.


    Spend $60, get any two rubs and a savory sauce for FREE.


    Spend $100, get any two rubs, a savory sauce, and a cookbook for FREE.

    Place a minimum order today for $40 and receive The Pampered Chef (r) Stoneware Inspirations cookbook for FREE. If you ordered on all previous days as well, you receive the above FREE items as well.

    Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off,  FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

    E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

    Thanks for participating in my weekend-long specials!

    Saturday, November 26, 2011

    CELEBRATING SUNDAY: Outdoor

    In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the third of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Outdoor items on pages 24 - 25 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]



    Spend $40 and get the Corn Cob Nobs for FREE.



    Spend $60 and get the Corn Cob Nobs and any rub for FREE.


    Spend $80 and get the Corn Cob Nobs, a rub, and any savory sauce for FREE.


    Spend $100 and get all of the above and any cookbook for FREE.


    Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off,  FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

    E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

    TOMORROW'S SPECIAL: Stoneware, pages 26 - 29 in the catalog!

    Friday, November 25, 2011

    RECUPERATING SATURDAY: Entertaining

    In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the second of my daily specials. Today's special is on Entertaining, pages 35 - 37 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do not order online; e-mail me your order.]



    Spend $40 and get the Bar Tongs for FREE.


    Spend $60 and the Bar Tongs and Ice Scoop for FREE.


    Spend $80  and get all of the above and the Beaded Spreader for FREE.


    Spend $100 and get the Wine Bottle Opener for FREE.


    Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off,  FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

    E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

    TOMORROW'S SPECIAL: Outdoor, pages 24 - 25 in the catalog!

    Thursday, November 24, 2011

    BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL: Bamboo Collection

    In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the first of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Bamboo Collection on pages 30 - 31 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]



    Spend $40, and get the Petite Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.


    Spend $60 and get the Small Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.


    Spend $80 and get both spoon sets and the Bamboo Tongs for FREE.


    Spend $100 and get all of the above and the Bamboo Salad Claws for FREE.


    Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off,  FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

    E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

    TOMORROW'S SPECIAL: Entertaining, pages 35 - 37 in the catalog!

    Pizza and wings, by yours truly.

    The dinner plan for this evening was wings. Our Thanksgiving is postponed until the weekend, since Fiance has to work tonight. While the poultry was in the oven, I decided on a whim to make a pizza to go with the wings. What follows is the chronicle of my trials.

    First off, the pizza wasn't happening without this.
    O, yeah, did I mention I was gonna plug the shit out of my Pampered Chef business? Don't judge.

    Within this box there were four pouches; two containing the mix, and two containing yeast. One of each will make one thick crust pizza or two thin crust pizzas (or four,  if you're feeling feisty).
    Ladies and gentlemen, preheat your ovens to 425 degrees Fahrenheit ('cause this is America, bitches), and let's get started. Dump the above pouches into your Classic Batter Bowl and mix it up with your Stainless Whisk. Next, add 1-1/4 cup of hot water and 2 Tbsp of olive or vegetable oil (I used olive) using your Measure-All (r) Cup and the Tbsp of your Measuring Spoon Set.
    Man, am I shameless or what? Moving on. I have JUST ordered myself a nifty Pastry Blender, so I used a spoon to stir all that up. Then I floured up my Cutting Board.
    Like that. Then I dumped the mess onto the board, floured up my hands, and kneaded the dough 8 - 10 times...whatever that means. I just rolled it around until it wasn't too sticky anymore, then transferred it to my Large Round Stone with Handles and rolled it out to within 1/2-in of the edge.
    Then I added some lame sauce (haaaa) and un-lamed it with some Italian Seasoning Mix.
    I sliced up some ham and bacon and sprinkled that with some Monterrey and Colby cheese onto the pizza. For Fiance, I washed and sliced some baby Portabello mushrooms to add to the pizza. They were pretty dirty.
    SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT: That's one of my Flexible Cutting Mats. It comes in a set of a three: red for meats, yellow for chicken, and green for veggies, to prevent cross-contamination. I use them alllll the time. Anywho, the mushrooms were for Fiance, so they went on half the pizza.
    Like that. I stuck that bad boy in the oven for 17 minutes. Box says 15 - 20. In hindsight, I could have should have done a couple of things different. One of them would be to leave it in longer for a crispier crust. I also should have maybe split the dough to make two thin crusts, and I should have spread the sauce and toppings closer to the edge. Lessons learned for next. Here's the finished product.
    Not bad looking, considering I NEVER make pizza. I don't think I'll subject Fiance to it, though, he's pretty picky. I enjoyed my slice alright, but like I said, I should have done a few things differently. I think I'll go with mozzarella next time, too. And a different brand of pizza sauce...Ragu kinda sucks. All in all, though, not a complete disaster.

    Now, on to the wings. I don't have pictures of the prep prior to putting them in the oven, but it's pretty simple. I watched Fiance's friend make wings at home one evening a few months back, so I had an idea of how to cut up the chicken to separate the drummies from the flats. Use a sharp knife (I used my 8" Chef's Knife; holy fuck, I love that thing) and cut the skin at the joint, and just gently nudge around the joint until you find the right spot to cut. Once you get to your third or fourth piece, you have a general idea of where you need to cut. Also, there's an extra bit on the other end of the flat you need to trim off. I sprayed my Large Bar Pan (still seasoning that bad boy) and layered the wings on it, then sprinkled some Buffalo Rub on them before putting them in the oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 35 minutes. Make sure you use a meat thermometer to ensure your chicken is cooked the whole way through! (I use my Digital Pocket Thermometer.)
    While those were cooling off, I made the sauce. I also got the idea from Fiance's friend. It's really simple, you just need some ranch dressing and some hot sauce.
    I don't use specific measurements here, I just sort of eyeball it and try to use equal parts. You really just wanna play around with the amount to make sure it's the level of heat you enjoy. What I got made my nose run, and that's how I like it.
    Once you have achieved the desired level of heat, dump in your wings and toss 'em around in the sauce until they're good and covered, then serve 'em up.
    And there's tonight's dinner. I wish the pizza could have been better, but the wings came out fine, and I know what to improve on for next time. It's really the only way to learn your way around the kitchen; no one is born a celebrity chef. And at least I made these mistakes at home, alone, and not at a show, in front of potential customers, amirite?

    For more information about The Pampered Chef items featured in this post, e-mail me at DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com. ¡Buen provecho!

    Tuesday, November 22, 2011

    Major change.

    I changed my major today. I'm dumping History Education (sigh), and taking up Computer Information Systems. It's what I did on active duty, it's what I'm one class away from having an associate's in, and it's what will be more likely to get me hired when I graduate. Plus, this way I can switch back to the monthly evening classes on base and get me a full time job again. Being poor sucks.

    More Black Friday specials!

    Starting Friday, I'll be posting daily specials thru Monday. They will be one-day-only deals, ending with a final special on Monday that will depend on which sales you took advantage of prior! Again, no charge for sales tax or shipping up to $4.75!! Stay tuned!

    Sunday, November 20, 2011

    EXCLUSIVE BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL

    Order any one of the following gift sets or a gift certificate, and I'll give you 10% off with no shipping and no tax!

    Place your order with me between 12:00 AM Thursday, 24 November, and 11:59 PM Sunday, 27 November, to take advantage of this great offer!! (This offer is exclusive to me; the order must be placed with me to get the discount and free tax/shipping.)

    In addition, each customer that takes advantage of this deal will be placed into a drawing to be my Mystery Host, entitling you to choose ANY item from the catalog at 60% off! ANY item of your choosing at 60% off, and then another 10% off the total?! PLUS a minimum of $15 in free product!! (Not to mention the possibility of half-price items if guest sales are high enough.) You'd be crazy not to go for this!



    Holiday Entertaining
    Put this set on the invite list to all your holiday get-togethers! Includes our Holiday Dots Square Bowl, Beaded Spreader and, exclusive to this set, Cranberry Orange Sauce.
    #2382, $42.50




    Decadent Dessert Sauces
    Imagine your chocolate-lover unwrapping this exclusive set - - Chocolate Peppermint, Chocolate Caramel and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sauces!
    #2387, $28.50

    Bamboo Snack Set
    Great for game-day snacking! Four Bamboo Petite Snack Bowls, four Petite Bamboo Spoons and the Bamboo Cracker Tray.
    #2388, $45.00
     











    1-2-3 Dip! Set
    Our exclusive Lemon & Rosemary Oil Dipping Seasoning, Parmesan-Garlic Oil Dipping Seasoning and Small Bamboo Spoon Set in a muslin gift bag.
    #2384, $18.50

    Sauce It Up
    Instant flavor! Our Sweet & Sour Sauce, Spicy Pineapple Rum Sauce and Raspberry Habanero Sauce tucked in a muslin gift bag.
    #2386, $35.00


    Pizza Party Set
    Get the holiday party started! Features our Large Round Stone with Handles, Pizza Cutter, Microplane(r) Zester and Pizza Crust Mix with Rosemary, exclusively available in this set.
    #2389, $59.50

    Sweeten It Up Set
    Treat your favorite sweetheart! In a muslin gift bag you'll receive our Sweet Cinnamon Sprinkle, Sweet Caramel Sprinkle and Sweet Honey Vanilla Sprinkle, which is only available in this set.
    #2373, $20.00
    Great Grilling! Seasoning & Recipe Collection
    Give your grill master a gift that really sizzles: Chili Lime Rub, Smoky Applewood Rub, Smoky Barbecue Rub and The Pampered Chef(r) Grill it Quick! Recipe Collection in a muslin gift bag.
    #2383, $20.00












    In addition, spend $60 and you receive your choice of ANY of our cookbooks or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE! 

    E-mail: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com

    Testing new Blogger app...

    The blogger app worked on my last Android phone, but I've struggled to make it work on this phone. It's been updated a couple of times and I've re-added the account I use for this, so hopefully it works!

    Tuesday, October 25, 2011

    My cat is a goddamn Houdini!

    In the time it took for us to watch one episode, no commercials, of Parks and Recreation, Simi snatched a chicken bone off my plate and broke that bitch down into SHARDS. I've only found two little pieces so far. The Goddess only knows there the hell the rest of it went.

    What's that sound?

    *screaming and cursing from the direction of Fiance's game room*

    That, dear readers, is the sweet sound of the newly-released Battlefield 3 Limited Edition.

    Sunday, October 23, 2011

    Vendors Needed: Multi-Vendor Quarters Auction Benefit

    I am putting together a multi-vendor quarters auction benefit for next month and I'm looking for vendors. We'll have some vendors set up display tables, and the rest will be filling up the tables with guests. If you haven't done a quarters auction before, it's a great way to drum up business and pull in orders and shows. We're raising money for an individual close to me with a benign tumor growing behind his upper gum line and up into his nasal cavity. His insurance will not cover the surgery needed to remove it or the bone graft needed to fill in the gap that will be left behind. We'll be collecting money via 50/50, a raffle, and selling bid card paddles. If you're interested, we ask that you donate $30 worth of product for the auction to reserve a table for your guests; each additional table will be a simple $5 fee. If you would like to run a display table, it's $10. I already have display tables for Lia Sophia, The Pampered Chef, Thirty-One, Mary Kay, and Premier Designs.

    The benefit will be held at the Knights of Columbus hall in Fairview Heights, Illinois, off of Old Collinsville Rd, on Thursday, 17 November. I will be arriving at the hall no later than 3 PM to start setting up for the event, and we'll open the doors to guests at 5:45 with the auction kicking off at 6:45.

    For those of you unfamiliar with how a quarters auction works, here's an explanation. Guests (and vendors if they wish) will bid on items with quarters using bid paddles. Each paddle has a number. If a guest sees an item they wish to bid on, they simply place the required number of a quarters in a designated bowl on their table. The bid will be anywhere between 1 and 4 quarters. No one will pay more than $1 for any item they may win. If their number is called, and the person has placed a bid, they win the item. If they haven't placed a bid, a new number is called until a winner is found. Guests will purchase an initial paddle for $2. There's also an option to purchase a Golden Paddle for $25 (limit 1 per guest); this allows them to bid nonstop all night without using quarters. Additional paddles (not golden; limit 3 per guest) can be earned by placing a $40 order with any vendor or booking a show.

    This can be marketed as a way to host a free show. Tell your guests that if they bring 8-10 guests with them they can qualify as the "host" of the table. All orders at the table that night go towards their show. This encourages them to invite and bring more guests.

    Feel free to spread the word to any vendors you think may be interested, and start inviting guests. If you'd like to get your payment in ahead of time, you can mail it to me (message me for address). I must receive all payments before 5:00 PM the day of the auction. All donated product must have a brief description of the item as well as the retail value; this helps us determine how many quarters we'll ask for in the bid.

    Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions about this.

    Guests: If you're interested in attending as a guest, e-mail me to reserve a spot. If you RSVP by 1 November, you'll have a free cookbook waiting for you at the event. As stated above, bring 8-10 guests to qualify as the host of the table. Or, you can collect $100 in orders prior to the event and be entered into a drawing for a chance to be my Mystery Host for the evening. This is a fun way to jump start your holiday shopping and help someone in need.

    Not able to attend, but wish to contribute in some way? Feel free to place a Pampered Chef order with me. All of my commission will go to the individual. Go to pamperedchef.com to view the catalog and our latest special. (Don't order online, the order will not come to me.)

    Thank you, and have a great week. (And go Cardinals!)

    E-mail address: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com