Saturday, December 3, 2011

The girl cat's assassination attempt.

I opened the dryer to remove a load of laundry, and before I had even straightened back up with an armful of clothes, the girl cat came running to jump into the dryer. She ALWAYS does this. So I started throwing wet clothes into the dryer on top of her. She didn't like that and got the hell out.

I put a load into the washer, started it, and rushed back to my seat on the couch. Little did I know that Girl Cat was lurking under the side table, hidden behind a shopping bag. She came streaking out, timing it perfectly, and tripped me! I yelped, "Oh my God!" and threw my hands out in front of me, landing ungracefully onto the couch. If I hadn't reacted so quickly, I might have busted my head on the coffee table!

A few minutes later a bleary-eyed Fiance emerged from hibernation in his Man Cave, and inquired about the commotion that had awoken him from his slumber. Girl Cat, hearing her master, came prancing out of the kitchen, her belly fat swaying comically from side to side. I pointed at the assassin and told him, "Your cat tried to kill me!" I related the events described in the previous paragraph, and he just looked at me in that bleary-eyed and unimpressed manner, and responded, "Why don't you stop acting so goofy?" Having said that, he turned and went back into his Cave to hibernate for a few more hours.

I suspect a conspiracy.

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