And I still can't figure out why.
After blogging yesterday afternoon, it occurred to me that the smart thing to do would be to just go and see him and tell him how I'm feeling.
Easier said than done.
Mostly, I just sat there next to him in silence. While he sat there next to me, watching me and waiting. And suddenly I couldn't find the words. How do I tell him how I feel without coming off as being completely selfish and self-centered?? I want this for him, I really do. I just don't want him to leave. It's going to be a whole year of not seeing him, not hugging him, not kissing him. A whole year without having him at my side. I have a month to get used to this, and it's not gonna happen. Until the day he flies home and I throw my arms around him again, it's gonna be the hardest thing to deal with.
On a lighter note, I'm going to be taking a grand total of four classes this coming semester. Elementary Spanish I and Basic Algebra are full-term courses (yeah, remedial math...what can I say, bad math skills are genetic in my family), but I really scored with management. I need two management classes for my Community College of the Air Force degree, and I'm going to be able to wipe out both of them this semester because they're offering Entrepreneur Basics and Business Plan Basics back-to-back as accelerated (one month) courses; EP from August to September, and BPB from October to November. How awesome?!
Once this semester is done, I still need to take another remedial math course before I can take one that will count towards my CCAF, and then I think I'm done. I'm gonna be going to school non-stop through next summer, but it'll be worth it if I can graduate before I separate from the military. I won't have another chance, and it's what I get for putting it off for so long, but I can't wait. Hooray!!
Then I can get to work on my history and psychology degrees. Whew, I got a long way to go.
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