The World's Shortest Fairy Tale.
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, 'Will you marry me?'
The guy said, 'No,' and the girl lived happily ever after and
went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house,
never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags,
stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
What a lovely thought. Heh.
So I got to chatting via e-mail with a former co-worker, Joe, the other day. He lives in Alaska now, and is deployed. He said when he got out, he'd probably come back to the Midwest since he and Kristina liked it so much out here. I asked him if he'd married her yet (I still remember how excited he was when he popped the question to her several years ago when he still lived out here.) He more or less told me that they would probably never get married. He still thinks proposing to her was the most awesome thing he could ever do, but he's since come to the conclusion that one does not need an official piece of paper in order to spend one's life with a significant other. He explained this to Kristina, and she was completely understanding of his desire for them to simply be "life partners."
And why not?? It's still working for Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
I am at the moment engrossed in a blog entitled Dump the Chump, wherein the author, Almost, regales her audience with tales concerning the trials and tribulations of her divorce from her paranoid and ridiculous Ex. I'm loving every word of it.
I think the idea of a life partner is a beautiful idea. To be with someone your whole life, not because you feel you have to, but because it's what you want every day of your life. These days that piece of legal paper that bounds you to someone seems more and more like validation for someone who may not be entirely secure with themselves or their relationship, and less and less like a mere symbol of a promise to be faithful and stick together through good times and bad. Like that paper is going to guarantee that your significant other will always be there, will never leave you.
But that's just not always the case. And thank God, because if it were Eric and I would be friends locked in misery who would eventually have come to resent and possibly hate each other. We ended things before it could turn into a train wreck, and we're happier for it. Unfortunately, some wait until long after the wreck to finally, reluctantly call it quits.
I told myself and everyone around me as soon as Eric and I separated that I would probably never marry again. It's not that I'm jaded from my failed attempt, I just don't wanna make that mistake again. To my surprise, the boyfriend did not like hearing me say this. "I might wanna get married in a few years. So, what, when I'm ready get married, I can't, because you don't want to??"
I still say I'll never get married, but...I don't really mean it anymore. I mean, if I spend the rest of my life being someone's life partner, that's fine with me...I think. I don't know. The thought of getting married again isn't as scary as it was months ago.
My relationship with my boyfriend is by no means temporary. We've been together for more than ten months, and we're still going strong. He says he's in this for the long haul; if he's in this for the long haul, then so am I. I can easily see myself being with him for the rest of my life; loving together, fighting together, laughing together.
Too soon to tell. There's a big difference, in my opinion, between spending one's life with a significant other, and making a legal commitment to another person.
I think, though, that if the right person were to ask me...I wouldn't say no.