Thursday, June 5, 2008

Just spewing randomness.

Written between 1330 and 1420:

So, I got stuck in this stupid records custodian training today. I don't know why they require us to do both the online and classroom training; it's the same thing being taught to me twice. A lot of our training is like that these days; we're scheduled for a mandatory class, and the damn prerequisites demand that we do computer-based training (CBT) and bring the printed certificate to the class, wasting paper. It's redundant, therefore it is stupid in my opinion. The stupidity of those appointed over me never ceases to astound me.

Needless to say, I showed up for training with no certificate in hand, because I had failed the test and didn't have time to retake it, because I like to procrastinate.

Last night's misery is absent today, but I dread its impending reappearance upon my arrival at my cold, empty apartment (empty if you don't count those infernal demons disguised as innocent cats and hamsters).

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I think I am developing spider veins. They're making an appearance on the backs of my knees, slowly but surely. The sight of them makes me feel old and unattractive...I'm only twenty-two!! They're hereditary, and my grandmother has them something fierce. They're also common in people who spend most of their days either sitting or standing. Well, hell, welcome to the Chair Force.

Just took a peak at the training slides out of curiosity. It's almost word-for-word what they teach in the blasted CBT. (expletive removed)

This class is the devil's work. And it's TWO HOURS LONG. The CBT was THREE HOURS LONG.

Eff you, eff you, eff you...

Living alone is starting to be the biggest disappointment of my early adult life, right under my divorce. And I don't think having cable and internet would make it any more bearable. It doesn't make up for the comfort and entertainment derived from human contact.

I hate revealing anything personal that my reveal my vulnerabilities. I can tell you why I'm lonely, and maybe even go into detail, but you won't catch me revealing the deeper, more heartrending reasons. I will show you the surface, and maybe a couple of layers beneath, but you'll likely never see the core of me. Those have are few and far between. You will never understand my insecurities, my inner demons, my moods, or my thought process.

But, oh, how I wish sometimes that I could expose it all, and damn the consequences...

Update at 1627: The class lasted less than hour. Hooray for small favors.

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