3/4 oz Strawberry Vodka.
1/2 oz Vanilla Vodka.
Lemon zest on the rim of the glass.
Topped with Prosecco champagne.
Add a lemon twist and a strawberry garnish.
This is my drink. It was made for me, and named for me (middle name). I love it.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Deer Hunter vs Four Horsemen.
No, this is not about an apocalyptic battle. Well...I take that back. It is, but it's not what you think.
Once upon a time, there was a show on the Travel Channel called Man Vs Food. The host of this show, Adam Richman, went to San Antonio to a restaurant called Chunky's to eat a burger called the Four Horsemen. It is so named because of the four peppers that make an appearance in this burger: jalapenos, habaneros, serranos, and the elusive Ghost Pepper, or Bhut Jolokia. It is the hottest pepper in the world, and makes grown men cry.
Once upon a time, Deer Hunter watched this episode and said, "I will eat that burger."
How convenient, then, that work should bring us here to Texas. We departed our hotel Friday night, not knowing how the night would end. Deer Hunter did come prepared, though.
Upon ordering, you must sign a waiver stating that you relieve Chunky's of all liability and that you understand the risks of consuming this monstrosity from hell. If you decided to partake of the Challenge, your waitress will inform you of the rules.
The challenge:
The aftermath:
He got halfway through, but bear this in mind: the waitress informed us that the burger consumed by our friend contained many more peppers than did the burger consumed by Adam Richman. And so I say unto you, the Deer Hunter is a BAMF, and Adam Richman is a pussy.
The End.
Once upon a time, there was a show on the Travel Channel called Man Vs Food. The host of this show, Adam Richman, went to San Antonio to a restaurant called Chunky's to eat a burger called the Four Horsemen. It is so named because of the four peppers that make an appearance in this burger: jalapenos, habaneros, serranos, and the elusive Ghost Pepper, or Bhut Jolokia. It is the hottest pepper in the world, and makes grown men cry.
Once upon a time, Deer Hunter watched this episode and said, "I will eat that burger."
How convenient, then, that work should bring us here to Texas. We departed our hotel Friday night, not knowing how the night would end. Deer Hunter did come prepared, though.
Upon ordering, you must sign a waiver stating that you relieve Chunky's of all liability and that you understand the risks of consuming this monstrosity from hell. If you decided to partake of the Challenge, your waitress will inform you of the rules.
- You have twenty-five minutes to finish of the burger.
- You will not drench the burger in ketchup.
- You will not drink milk.
- There are no bathroom breaks.
- Once you have finished the burger, you are allowed one last sip of your beverage before starting a five-minute waiting period when you cannot eat or drink anything else.
- There is a $10 cleaning fee if you regurgitate anywhere other than the bucket that is provided.
The challenge:
The aftermath:
He got halfway through, but bear this in mind: the waitress informed us that the burger consumed by our friend contained many more peppers than did the burger consumed by Adam Richman. And so I say unto you, the Deer Hunter is a BAMF, and Adam Richman is a pussy.
The End.
It wasn't as bad I thought it would be.
The cast: Deer Hunter, Parogi, and Ears (apparently this is what her son calls her). Our first night in San Antonio was spent having dinner on the River Walk. I went there once when I was in basic training but, like many of my BMT adventures, I did not remember it. Based on the praises of passerby, we decided to eat at an odd hole-in-the-wall-seeming restaurant called Delores Del Rio. It featured tasty yet overpriced Italian food, a jazz musician, and a belly dancer. The belly dancer didn't come out until much later.
We sat down and proceeded to order our drinks. I obtained for myself a carafe of white wine and refused to use the glass that was provided.
Deer Hunger and Parogi, being manly men, ordered beer. Ears is finicky when it comes wine, and the waitress, a middle-aged blond woman, recommended the house wine. The house wine was stored in a very large jug and was two-thirds full, so Ears assumed it had been open for a while and may have obtained a vinegary taste as a result. She said she would try a taste, though.
What the waitress brought was not a taste; it was half a glass. Ears took a sip, and without thinking said in suprise, "Oh, it's not as bad as I thought it would be!"
Let me tell you, hell froze over. The immediate surrounding area of our table became as frigid as Fairbanks in January. In that waitress's eyes, Ears was the dirt beneath her feet. We spent the rest of the night giving her a hard time, and she spent the rest of the night sucking up to the waitress.
At one point, Ears got up to go use the bathroom. When she came back, she said, "The belly dancer is back there, and she's fat!" Oh dear. Parogi became curious, and he went to use the bathroom too. He confirmed the fatness upon his return. Finally, I get up to use the bathroom. What I see is an older lady dressed in a quirky fashion in jeans and a t-shirt, just hanging out in the kitchen. I knew she wasn't the belly dancer.
When the belly dancer finally did show up, she was an okay-looking girl in her late twenties, early thirties. She didn't do anything impressive, but according to the waitress she teaches a belly dance class. I found this hard to believe, because while she wasn't fat she didn't have the muscular build in the middle of her body that most belly dancers have.
We found out later that the old lady in the back is the owner, the middle-aged waitress is her daughter (hence being personally offended by Ears), and the younger belly dancer is the owner's girlfriend. Hm.
We sat down and proceeded to order our drinks. I obtained for myself a carafe of white wine and refused to use the glass that was provided.
Deer Hunger and Parogi, being manly men, ordered beer. Ears is finicky when it comes wine, and the waitress, a middle-aged blond woman, recommended the house wine. The house wine was stored in a very large jug and was two-thirds full, so Ears assumed it had been open for a while and may have obtained a vinegary taste as a result. She said she would try a taste, though.
What the waitress brought was not a taste; it was half a glass. Ears took a sip, and without thinking said in suprise, "Oh, it's not as bad as I thought it would be!"
Let me tell you, hell froze over. The immediate surrounding area of our table became as frigid as Fairbanks in January. In that waitress's eyes, Ears was the dirt beneath her feet. We spent the rest of the night giving her a hard time, and she spent the rest of the night sucking up to the waitress.
At one point, Ears got up to go use the bathroom. When she came back, she said, "The belly dancer is back there, and she's fat!" Oh dear. Parogi became curious, and he went to use the bathroom too. He confirmed the fatness upon his return. Finally, I get up to use the bathroom. What I see is an older lady dressed in a quirky fashion in jeans and a t-shirt, just hanging out in the kitchen. I knew she wasn't the belly dancer.
When the belly dancer finally did show up, she was an okay-looking girl in her late twenties, early thirties. She didn't do anything impressive, but according to the waitress she teaches a belly dance class. I found this hard to believe, because while she wasn't fat she didn't have the muscular build in the middle of her body that most belly dancers have.
We found out later that the old lady in the back is the owner, the middle-aged waitress is her daughter (hence being personally offended by Ears), and the younger belly dancer is the owner's girlfriend. Hm.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Friday Night Giggles and Downers.
Just got back from devouring delicious Thai cuisine, and I can't stop laughing over this stuff.
What are you top five crime scene albums?
The five most wildly illegal court rulings in movie history.
Five things nobody tells you about quitting drinking,
This upsets me. And is the reason why I don't like to discuss my spirituality.
Three reasons the Ground Zero Mosque debate makes no sense. Btw, what's been going on with that?? I'm so out of the loop...
Five things you won't believe aren't in the Bible. Also, I'm an antichrist. Don't tell Marguerite Perrin.
Six things from history everyone pictured wrong. Hopefully you can wrap your head around the fact that Jesus, if he existed, wasn't white.
Five fictional stories you were taught in history class. Ha.
The five most inspiring things ever accomplished (while drunk). Fiance, don't get any ideas...
Why Eminem needs to find something new to rap about. It's truuuuue.
What are you top five crime scene albums?
The five most wildly illegal court rulings in movie history.
Five things nobody tells you about quitting drinking,
This upsets me. And is the reason why I don't like to discuss my spirituality.
Three reasons the Ground Zero Mosque debate makes no sense. Btw, what's been going on with that?? I'm so out of the loop...
Five things you won't believe aren't in the Bible. Also, I'm an antichrist. Don't tell Marguerite Perrin.
Six things from history everyone pictured wrong. Hopefully you can wrap your head around the fact that Jesus, if he existed, wasn't white.
Five fictional stories you were taught in history class. Ha.
The five most inspiring things ever accomplished (while drunk). Fiance, don't get any ideas...
Why Eminem needs to find something new to rap about. It's truuuuue.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
A quote.
"My message to you is: Be courageous! I have lived a long time. I have seen history repeat itself again and again. I have seen many depressions in business. Always America has come out stronger and more prosperous. Be as brave as your fathers before you. Have faith! Go forward." - - Thomas Edison.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
You learn something new every day.
One morning, I texted Canuck to see if he wanted to join the Cool Kids for coffee. He replied back:
"Well...you can't really cheat on those."
But those were the ones I failed last time. Sigh. Guess I'll have to pass it the old-fashioned way...by working out. Shit.
I'm off today doing manual labor at home. You too can have a day off if you cheat on the PT test like me }=DI was intrigued, to say the least. I asked him to teach me...as I've failed my last two tests.
First lesson: cut across the football field when running the track; this will cut your time in half =P...riiiight. Well...I am kinda small. So maybe the testers won't notice me doing that?
Second PT lesson: have them treat the measuring tape as if it was a tourniquet =PAhhh...my 27-inch waist is good to go, I think. But wait...there are four components that make up the Air Force physical training test. You've covered the aerobic (running) component, the abdominal circumference (waist) component...but what about the push-ups and sit-ups?
"Well...you can't really cheat on those."
But those were the ones I failed last time. Sigh. Guess I'll have to pass it the old-fashioned way...by working out. Shit.
You know what really grinds my gears?
Holding out your left hand to demand A, while at the same time holding out your right hand to demand B.
Read this article about the three Iowan judges who have been thrown out by the people over same-sex marriage. This sentence in the fifth paragraph really pisses me off:
But why, Davi? What does this piss you off? I'm all for a smaller federal government. A central government with too much power inevitably becomes corrupt over time. All these Republicans, Tea Partiers, they want to protect the states' rights, correct? They want issues like the legalization of abortion and same-sex marriage to be determined at the state level, as opposed to the federal level, amirite? Alright then. I'm down with that.
So, understand yet why that statement pisses me off? If you are a resident of Delaware, who the hell are you to nudge a Maryland resident in the shoulder and say, "Hey, you're doing things wrong in your state, so I'm gonna throw some cash that way to change things." Um, Mr Delaware Resident, if you don't like how they run things in Maryland, I suggest you keep your happy ass in The First State. (I'm not hating on Delaware, btw; that little speck on the map holds a special place in my heart.)
Are we seeing yet the hypocrisy? Yes, let the states decide these matter, but if someone in another state disagrees with the outcome, it's okay to come trudging in my front yard to persuade me to do things your way? I don't think so, pal. Get the fuck off my lawn, thx.
I believe that when it comes to local elections, elections for senators and representatives and local justices and governors and what have you, that it is unethical to accept campaign funds from out of state. I believe it is unethical for these out-of-state groups to try to influence these local elections.
Here's the problem I've been noticing for a year now. All these folks hooping and hollering for smaller government? They're never happy with what they have. People hold out one hand begging for smaller government, while holding out their other hand yelling at Capitol Hill to fix all their problems. As I said to MacGyver, "These people don't want smaller government! They say the do; they think they do. But they'll always turn to the federal government to fix all their problems."
I struggle daily to remain nonpartisan. I voted for Mark Kirk, a Republican, and he's now going to be my Senator. I voted for Jerry Costello, a Democrat, and he's going to continue as my House Representative. But I look at the increasingly red map of our country, and I am nervous as hell. I'm nervous about all these fringe politicians who are going to be even less likely to reach across the aisle for a compromise. (Mitch McConnell even said himself that the Republicans should NOT compromise!) I foresee a time after the New Year that will be similar to what occurred after the midterms elections in 1994.
History always repeats itself; it doesn't mean we have to repeat our mistakes. I wish the best of luck to our potential new House Speaker, John Boehner; I hope Senator Harry Reid wakes up and hears the voices of his constituents; and I pray to the Goddess that our President takes a step, assesses the situation, and realizes that if he wants to get anything done, if he wants to get our country back on track, he needs to stop siding so much with the Democrats and do all that he can to unite our partisan Representatives and Senators.
Read this article about the three Iowan judges who have been thrown out by the people over same-sex marriage. This sentence in the fifth paragraph really pisses me off:
The outcome marks the end of a showdown in the state that was funded by several million dollars from mostly out-of-state groups opposed to the same-sex marriage ruling.
But why, Davi? What does this piss you off? I'm all for a smaller federal government. A central government with too much power inevitably becomes corrupt over time. All these Republicans, Tea Partiers, they want to protect the states' rights, correct? They want issues like the legalization of abortion and same-sex marriage to be determined at the state level, as opposed to the federal level, amirite? Alright then. I'm down with that.
So, understand yet why that statement pisses me off? If you are a resident of Delaware, who the hell are you to nudge a Maryland resident in the shoulder and say, "Hey, you're doing things wrong in your state, so I'm gonna throw some cash that way to change things." Um, Mr Delaware Resident, if you don't like how they run things in Maryland, I suggest you keep your happy ass in The First State. (I'm not hating on Delaware, btw; that little speck on the map holds a special place in my heart.)
Are we seeing yet the hypocrisy? Yes, let the states decide these matter, but if someone in another state disagrees with the outcome, it's okay to come trudging in my front yard to persuade me to do things your way? I don't think so, pal. Get the fuck off my lawn, thx.
I believe that when it comes to local elections, elections for senators and representatives and local justices and governors and what have you, that it is unethical to accept campaign funds from out of state. I believe it is unethical for these out-of-state groups to try to influence these local elections.
Here's the problem I've been noticing for a year now. All these folks hooping and hollering for smaller government? They're never happy with what they have. People hold out one hand begging for smaller government, while holding out their other hand yelling at Capitol Hill to fix all their problems. As I said to MacGyver, "These people don't want smaller government! They say the do; they think they do. But they'll always turn to the federal government to fix all their problems."
I struggle daily to remain nonpartisan. I voted for Mark Kirk, a Republican, and he's now going to be my Senator. I voted for Jerry Costello, a Democrat, and he's going to continue as my House Representative. But I look at the increasingly red map of our country, and I am nervous as hell. I'm nervous about all these fringe politicians who are going to be even less likely to reach across the aisle for a compromise. (Mitch McConnell even said himself that the Republicans should NOT compromise!) I foresee a time after the New Year that will be similar to what occurred after the midterms elections in 1994.
History always repeats itself; it doesn't mean we have to repeat our mistakes. I wish the best of luck to our potential new House Speaker, John Boehner; I hope Senator Harry Reid wakes up and hears the voices of his constituents; and I pray to the Goddess that our President takes a step, assesses the situation, and realizes that if he wants to get anything done, if he wants to get our country back on track, he needs to stop siding so much with the Democrats and do all that he can to unite our partisan Representatives and Senators.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Yeah, I stomp on heads 'cause of my back problems, too.
I know I'm a few days behind on the head-stomping of Lauren Valle. But I still have to comment on it. I'm pretty sure that most of the people in the Tea Party aren't nut-bags. I'm pretty sure they're not all violent and I know that not everyone who is a member of the Tea Party is batshit crazy. They don't all think Obama is a Muslim or that his Hawaiian birth certificate is fake. They're not all trying to force their conservative social family values down my throat. But it is so easy to forget this when idiotic assholes like Tom Profitt knock women to the ground and stomp on their heads because they have back problems, and then demand that the victim apologize.
Geez.
Geez.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
That's not the kinda Christian I was raised to be.
Once upon a time, I was Catholic.
I was taken to church on Sundays, I went to Sunday school sporadically, and though never confirmed I did marry Ex in a Catholic church.
I was, once upon a time, a devout but imperfect Christian. Growing up, I questioned the tenets of my faith, the "facts" of the Bible. A lot of things didn't add up for me. But ultimately, it was the hypocrisy and intolerance of so-called Christians like Clint McCance that drove me away from established Christianity and towards a path of worship of my own choosing (neo-paganism is my flavor now).
A school board member, Mr McCance stated on his Facebook page that as far as he was concerned in regards to the recent Spirit Day, he'd wear purple when all the gays had killed themselves. Good for you, asshole.
As a Christian, I was taught that God loved all creation, sin or no sin. I read in the Bible about Jesus telling his followers to love not only their neighbors, but their enemies as well. Mr McCance, you are no Christian. Neither is anyone who hates or expresses intolerance for anyone who is different or follows a different set of rules.
I was taken to church on Sundays, I went to Sunday school sporadically, and though never confirmed I did marry Ex in a Catholic church.
I was, once upon a time, a devout but imperfect Christian. Growing up, I questioned the tenets of my faith, the "facts" of the Bible. A lot of things didn't add up for me. But ultimately, it was the hypocrisy and intolerance of so-called Christians like Clint McCance that drove me away from established Christianity and towards a path of worship of my own choosing (neo-paganism is my flavor now).
A school board member, Mr McCance stated on his Facebook page that as far as he was concerned in regards to the recent Spirit Day, he'd wear purple when all the gays had killed themselves. Good for you, asshole.
As a Christian, I was taught that God loved all creation, sin or no sin. I read in the Bible about Jesus telling his followers to love not only their neighbors, but their enemies as well. Mr McCance, you are no Christian. Neither is anyone who hates or expresses intolerance for anyone who is different or follows a different set of rules.
Public Service Announcement: Votiiiiing.
I wasn't going to vote in the midterm elections...but I've changed my mind. I really only care about the elections for US Senate and US Representative. I won't say which is which until after, but for one seat I'm voting Republican (take THAT, Fiance), and for the other seat I'm voting Democrat (hides under desk). I am not voting along party lines, as you can see, but on the issues. I suggest you do the same; vote for the person, not the party.
And to the person I parked next to this morning with the big "Where's the Birth Certificate?" sticker on the back of their car...REALLY???? Stop it. Thx. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to run for president without adequate proof of natural citizenship.
And to the person I parked next to this morning with the big "Where's the Birth Certificate?" sticker on the back of their car...REALLY???? Stop it. Thx. I'm pretty sure it's impossible to run for president without adequate proof of natural citizenship.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Oh, for the love of - -
What follows is an electronic conversation between myself and the Redhead.
Me: meant to send the following to Canuck: "I wish I could have recorded the last 30 seconds between myself and Macgyver. Srsly, the things he says!!!!"
guess who i sent it to instead????
GUESS
Redhead: MACGYVER??
Me: hahahahahaha
yeah
goddamnit
he laughed
but goddamnit
Redhead: wow....your smart...
hahaha
Me: I KNOW
wtf
why are you still there?!?!
Redhead: working hun
told ya..i work long hours here
Me: geeeez
but whyyyy
Redhead: i just told them [them being her team] about your little mishap...we all laughed..
[...]
good thing macgyver likes you
Me: goddamn you to the fiery bowels of hell, you redheaded wench of the apocalypse
Redhead: you know you love me..
Me: that's debatable atm
Redhead: whatevs...
gave me something to tell that was funny...
Me: ah, i see in my misfortune i have finally come through for you
ARE YOU HAPPY
Redhead: yes...yes i am...
=D
Happy goddamn Tuesday.
Me: meant to send the following to Canuck: "I wish I could have recorded the last 30 seconds between myself and Macgyver. Srsly, the things he says!!!!"
guess who i sent it to instead????
GUESS
Redhead: MACGYVER??
Me: hahahahahaha
yeah
goddamnit
he laughed
but goddamnit
Redhead: wow....your smart...
hahaha
Me: I KNOW
wtf
why are you still there?!?!
Redhead: working hun
told ya..i work long hours here
Me: geeeez
but whyyyy
Redhead: i just told them [them being her team] about your little mishap...we all laughed..
[...]
good thing macgyver likes you
Me: goddamn you to the fiery bowels of hell, you redheaded wench of the apocalypse
Redhead: you know you love me..
Me: that's debatable atm
Redhead: whatevs...
gave me something to tell that was funny...
Me: ah, i see in my misfortune i have finally come through for you
ARE YOU HAPPY
Redhead: yes...yes i am...
=D
Happy goddamn Tuesday.
Aaaand that's my good deed for the quarter.
Today I saved a turtle as it slowly but surely made it's way across the road. I hated the thought of him/her getting halfway across only to get SMASHED by a careless driver. So I stopped, picked him/her up, and helped him/her to the other side. Hopefully it was the side he/she was headed to.
Dread Pirate Davi: Champion of Turtles everywhere. Okay, not so much, but I do feel pretty good about it. Hopefully the Goddess approves.
If only others could be as easily saved. Hang in there, Laggin. <3
Dread Pirate Davi: Champion of Turtles everywhere. Okay, not so much, but I do feel pretty good about it. Hopefully the Goddess approves.
If only others could be as easily saved. Hang in there, Laggin. <3
Monday, October 25, 2010
I ain't no money bags, but that'll do.
Was informed today of a raise that is punishment for a job well done. O woe is me!
Happy friggin' Monday!!
Happy friggin' Monday!!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Written with a keyboard, sealed with electronic encryption.
Dear Terin,
Months have passed since you were last seen in the Blogosphere. This makes me a sad panda. Every time one of my favorite bloggers goes off the radar for an extended period of time, it always seems to be because of real life turmoil. I sincerely hope that this is not the case with you. I hope everything is going well in your new endeavors, and that soon you will return to update us on all the wonderful happenings.
Deviously,
The Dread Pirate Davi
Months have passed since you were last seen in the Blogosphere. This makes me a sad panda. Every time one of my favorite bloggers goes off the radar for an extended period of time, it always seems to be because of real life turmoil. I sincerely hope that this is not the case with you. I hope everything is going well in your new endeavors, and that soon you will return to update us on all the wonderful happenings.
Deviously,
The Dread Pirate Davi
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