Deer Hunter vs Four Horsemen.

No, this is not about an apocalyptic battle. Well...I take that back. It is, but it's not what you think.

Once upon a time, there was a show on the Travel Channel called Man Vs Food. The host of this show, Adam Richman, went to San Antonio to a restaurant called Chunky's to eat a burger called the Four Horsemen. It is so named because of the four peppers that make an appearance in this burger: jalapenos, habaneros, serranos, and the elusive Ghost Pepper, or Bhut Jolokia. It is the hottest pepper in the world, and makes grown men cry.

Once upon a time, Deer Hunter watched this episode and said, "I will eat that burger."

How convenient, then, that work should bring us here to Texas. We departed our hotel Friday night, not knowing how the night would end. Deer Hunter did come prepared, though.

Upon ordering, you must sign a waiver stating that you relieve Chunky's of all liability and that you understand the risks of consuming this monstrosity from hell. If you decided to partake of the Challenge, your waitress will inform you of the rules.

1. You have twenty-five minutes to finish of the burger.
2. You will not drench the burger in ketchup.
3. You will not drink milk.
4. There are no bathroom breaks.
5. Once you have finished the burger, you are allowed one last sip of your beverage before starting a five-minute waiting period when you cannot eat or drink anything else.
6. There is a $10 cleaning fee if you regurgitate anywhere other than the bucket that is provided.

Deer Hunger (and Parogi), prior to eating:

The challenge:

The aftermath:

He got halfway through, but bear this in mind: the waitress informed us that the burger consumed by our friend contained many more peppers than did the burger consumed by Adam Richman. And so I say unto you, the Deer Hunter is a BAMF, and Adam Richman is a pussy.

The End.