No, I don't want to be a boy. That is a quote from one of my favorite childhood characters, Peter Pan. This article lists twenty-five signs that you have grown up, and several apply to me.
1. I've tried the houseplants (none of which I smoke), but I tend to forget about them in the face of my pets' needs. However, the fact that all three cats and both hamsters are still alive should count for something.
2. Rich's full-sized bed tends to feel crowded at times. So I can't imagine willingly hopping into a twin. I prefer my king, but I'll be downgrading to a queen pretty soon. *sigh*
3. I have always kept more food that beer in the fridge. I can't drink that much beer by myself, and I don't even really like beer. I prefer something with a flavor. (Hold the cheerleader beer jokes.) Besides, I love food too much to give any other consumable item much consideration.
4. I've been getting up at six in the ay-em since I started middle school. After almost twelve years of this nonsense, I wake up early on my own. *sigh*
5. Not counting the Disney Cruise (hee), I have yet to hear any of my favorite songs in the elevator. But I'm sure that time is not that far off.
6. I've been watching the Weather Channel since I was five. It's the only channel with 24-hour weather updates!!
7. Okay, I'm in the military, so this one doesn't necessarily make me an adult, it just means that my peers and I lack foresight. I'm pretty sure celebrities are the only other people in the US with a divorce rate to match ours.
8. I can't wait to be a teacher. Summers off!!
9. My mother never considered me dressed up unless I was in a skirt at a minimum. That woman was the bane of my existence during my tomboy years.
10. Ah-HA!! Not applicable, thank you. Ah, this brings back fond memories of the neighbors calling the cops after my Halloween party because of the giant FUCK OFF written on my front door.
11. I really don't ever want to hear sex jokes coming out of the mouths of my older relatives, thank you.
12. I never know what time anything closes. That's what I have Rich for.
14. I don't have a dog, and I don't believe in feeding animals people food. It merely encourages the incorrigible Simi to steal pizza behind my back.
15. Sleeping anywhere that is not a bed makes me feel like shit. Sometimes even sleeping in a bed makes me feel like shit.
16. I didn't take naps before Rich came along. It's all his fault.
17. Psssh, date?? What's a date?? Usually it's just dinner.
18. I'm never really hungry between the hours of nine pee-em and five ay-em.
19. Gotta have my drugs!! Kidding.
20. I liek teh frooty wine.
21. Well, I'm on the Special K diet...so I'm eating a lot of cereal.
22. "I just can't drink the way I did when I was deployed." Bet you can't say the same.
23. Work?? Moi?? Never!!
24. I think pre-gaming is dumb, to be honest. Not my thing anymore. The whole point of going out is to, well, go out.
25. Of the friends of mine that do have babies, even if they were accidents, they're usually pretty excited as opposed to dismayed. Shortly thereafter, they're married. Hm.
The bonus point does not apply to me. I mean, nearly every one of these applies, but there are two or three that don't. So, I'm well on my way to being *gasp* an adult, but I'm still holding on to my inner almost-but-not-quite-an-adult with both hands.