Apparently, I'm having an "existential crisis". I've decided that, in search of answers that I doubt I'm going to find, I will start attending church. I truly do not know what to believe anymore, but I suspect that in the last few years I have slowly become an agnostic theist.
I have no patience for structured religion, and while I believe it was established with the best of intentions, like so many other things it was been twisted and corrupted by man to suit his motives, ambitions, and desires. It cannot be trusted, and so I have nowhere to look for spiritual guidance; I can only rely on myself and my own judgment. As I have stated on many occasions, I do not know if God exists or if there is an afterlife. But I do follow a set moral code, and in the end I hope that will be good enough for whomever judges me when I die.
On a side note, Forrest and this other guy give me plenty of food or thought. After reading some of their entries concerning morality without the trappings of faith, I have begun to wonder if secular humanists, who pretty much do that right thing because it's the right thing to do, have more integrity than theists, who do the right thing because they feel they're being watched. Kinda like the kid who doesn't eat cookies before supper so as not to spoil his appetite, as opposed to the kid who doesn't eat said cookies because he can't get away with it while Mom is watching. If that makes sense.