They just asked for volunteers for my deployment rotation. If no volunteers step forward, they will resort to the lottery method.
With my luck, my name would come up in a lottery. I can't do this again. That last one fucked with my head and my emotions so badly. It amazes me that no one referred me to mental health, but then I can be pretty crafty when it comes to hiding what's really going on with me. It was such an emotional roller coaster; I had my ups, which were great, and I had my downs, which were some of the worst I've ever experienced without wanting to kill myself. (I haven't had any suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager, fortunately.) It was really hard to cope with.
And now that I am emotionally stable for the first time in my life...it is being threatened by this impending rotation that is now looming over me like a dark cloud.
I have a less than seventeen months left. Would it be too much to ask to get through it unscathed??