Thursday, April 17, 2008

Please don't make me...

They just asked for volunteers for my deployment rotation. If no volunteers step forward, they will resort to the lottery method.

With my luck, my name would come up in a lottery. I can't do this again. That last one fucked with my head and my emotions so badly. It amazes me that no one referred me to mental health, but then I can be pretty crafty when it comes to hiding what's really going on with me. It was such an emotional roller coaster; I had my ups, which were great, and I had my downs, which were some of the worst I've ever experienced without wanting to kill myself. (I haven't had any suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager, fortunately.) It was really hard to cope with.

And now that I am emotionally stable for the first time in my is being threatened by this impending rotation that is now looming over me like a dark cloud.

I have a less than seventeen months left. Would it be too much to ask to get through it unscathed??

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