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Friday, May 20, 2011

The Rapture.

It is said that tomorrow is The Rapture. I want to know what time it is meant to start. If midnight on 21 May, which time zone? Could The Rapture be happening as we speak, if we go with midnight at the International Date Line? Or is it like the New Year, occurring separately in each time zone as each hits midnight? Things to ponder, my friends.

Someone on suggested the following for the irreverent non-believers looking to have a little fun. In the middle of the night tonight, go up and down your street and litter it with clothing and shoes. See how freaked out your neighbors are in the morning. Hee hee...

Some are confusing The Rapture with The End. The End is scheduled for October; a huge and important difference. But I have to nitpick, of course. From my understanding, there's supposed to be a seven-year gap between The Rapture and Judgment Day. How did it get shortened to five months?


To be honest, I'm rather excited about all this. The way I see it, a lot of jobs are gonna be opening up starting tomorrow, and that increases my chances of getting part-time employment. Also, the world will be a quieter place for a bit, because won't we be seeing a lot less religious fundamentalists starting tomorrow? Dear God, please take the Westboro assholes. If you do, I won't ask for anything for Christmas.

Enjoy your Rapture, everyone. See you all at the post-looting.

2 comments:

Laggin said...

I thought of you Saturday morning because my yoga teacher left a pile of clothes on her mat while we were in shavasana (meditation corpse pose). Funneh!

Also, the Monet exhibit is coming to St. Louis either later this year or early next. That's not too far from you, is it?

Laggin said...

Stay safe....