I forgive you. After almost four months, I woke up this morning feeling that the time has finally come when I can think of you and not want to throw up everywhere. If I see you in the parking lot at Target, I won't run you down in my car. If I round a corner and come face to face with you, I won't shred your face into pieces. If I see you, I will simply walk away. I am starting a new chapter in my life, and you, what you have done to me, has no place in it. I am ready to move on with my life and be happy.
I feel good.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I quit.
Srsly. I fucking quit. I am worthless. I can't do anything right.
Can I please just spend the rest of my days vegetating in my bed?? I just don't wanna do this anymore. I can't. I'm not cut out to be a responsible adult, and I never will be.
Can I please just spend the rest of my days vegetating in my bed?? I just don't wanna do this anymore. I can't. I'm not cut out to be a responsible adult, and I never will be.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Creeping Chrysler.
I exited Wal Mart in my cute heels, cute skirt, and cute shirt, all dolled up because of TAP class this week. I was wearing a jacket earlier, but didn't feel like wearing it to Wal Mart, wear I went to get a manicure and pedicure. Yeah, I get my nails done at Wal Mart. They did a great job for a great price, so bite me.
But I digress.
I exited Wal Mart and strolled towards my car in my cute heels. I passed a Chrysler luxury sedan sitting in the cross walk. The kind that I always mistake for a Cadillac if I don't see the Chrysler emblem.
I arrived at my car and dug around for keys in my ginormous black hole of a purse. As I did this, the same Chrysler pulled into the parking spot next to me. My subconscious made note of this. I hopped into my car, and the driver's side window of the Chrysler rolled down, revealing an attractive and well-dressed man who appeared to be in his late twenties. He waved at me to roll my window down, so I did, assuming he was looking for directions or something.
"You have nice shoes." Huh??
"Oh, thanks."
"What's your name?" Oh, jeezus.
Hesitation. "Davi."
He laughs. "Are you lying to me?"
"No, my name is Davi."
"Are you married, Davi?"
I laugh nervously. "I'm engaged."
"Oh, congratulations."
Half-grin. "Thanks."
"You have a nice smile."
"Thanks."
He rolled his window up and drove away. I sat there, flabbergasted that this individual had followed me across the parking lot to compliment me on my shoes and enquire after my marital status. And what is hilarious to me is, I have seen this guy before. True story. I KNOW I have seen him around the base. Weeeeiiiiiird.
And that is my strange encounter for the week.
But I digress.
I exited Wal Mart and strolled towards my car in my cute heels. I passed a Chrysler luxury sedan sitting in the cross walk. The kind that I always mistake for a Cadillac if I don't see the Chrysler emblem.
I arrived at my car and dug around for keys in my ginormous black hole of a purse. As I did this, the same Chrysler pulled into the parking spot next to me. My subconscious made note of this. I hopped into my car, and the driver's side window of the Chrysler rolled down, revealing an attractive and well-dressed man who appeared to be in his late twenties. He waved at me to roll my window down, so I did, assuming he was looking for directions or something.
"You have nice shoes." Huh??
"Oh, thanks."
"What's your name?" Oh, jeezus.
Hesitation. "Davi."
He laughs. "Are you lying to me?"
"No, my name is Davi."
"Are you married, Davi?"
I laugh nervously. "I'm engaged."
"Oh, congratulations."
Half-grin. "Thanks."
"You have a nice smile."
"Thanks."
He rolled his window up and drove away. I sat there, flabbergasted that this individual had followed me across the parking lot to compliment me on my shoes and enquire after my marital status. And what is hilarious to me is, I have seen this guy before. True story. I KNOW I have seen him around the base. Weeeeiiiiiird.
And that is my strange encounter for the week.
Monday, July 13, 2009
MINE.
Hey. Ladies.
You know Rich?? That sexy man with the sick tattoo on his chest??
He's mine.
All mine.
And if you try to pull any shenanigans, I will happily tear your eyes out and feed them to my ravenous kittehs.
Hooray!!
You know Rich?? That sexy man with the sick tattoo on his chest??
He's mine.
All mine.
And if you try to pull any shenanigans, I will happily tear your eyes out and feed them to my ravenous kittehs.
Hooray!!
Lock jaw.
For some reason, I've been clenching my teeth for the last couple of hours. Now my jaw hurts.
Thank you, Anonymous, for the tip. STLWed.com should prove to be a useful tool.
My toes are jacked. Time for a pedicure.
Today I sat through Day One (of four) of Transition Assistance Program (TAP) class at the Airmen and Family Readiness Center. It's for service members who are separating/retiring, and is there to give them guidance, advice, tools, etc, for transitioning to civilian life and the civilian job market. As they were going on and on about marketing yourself and your skills and such, I pondered on the one and only job I plan on applying for, the civilian slot within the office I am currently assigned to.
Most would see this as disastrous to my future. The Fiance certainly thinks. I can imagine the fit my father will throw upon reading this. Why am I limiting myself, you ask??
Here's the deal. Many months ago, it was my desire to apply for this job. However as time rolled on, I began to feel that despite my security clearance and real-world experience in this particular area of my Air Force Specialty Code (MOS, for you soldiers), I wouldn't stand a chance in the interview/hiring process. I mean, to go from clerk (don't let that inadequate word lead you to underestimate my real duties) to alternate manager after only a year-and-a-half in the office?? Who was I kidding??
So very, very recently, I decided to abandon all hope and turn my attention towards applying for the post-9/11 GI Bill and going to school full time. The Fiance and Parents were one-hundred-percent supportive of this. My goal was to get my bachelor's in three years or less.
Then the new leadership came to visit.
I drew the short-straw and ended up being the one to brief said leadership on what our office does, what we've accomplished, and the challenges we face. One of those challenges being that, of all the similar office in the command across the nation, we have the most responsibility in our specific area of comm; HOWEVER, we manage said responsibility with the least amount of personnel. I mentioned that during our recent command-level inspection out-brief, the inspectors had placed emphasis on filling the open civilian slot for continuity purposes.
The mentioning sparked a conversation between the bigheads, and before I knew it, I was being encouraged to apply for the slot by no less than the squadron commander and the group commander. "Change one uniform for the other," as the superintendent put it.
Well. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. But, armed with the blessing and approval of leadership, I contacted the civilian liaison for hiring, and found out the job will be re-advertised in the immediate future. So, I am currently putting together my resume to post on the World Wide Web. And when the job become public, I will "self-nominate", in my flight commander's words.
Why the change of heart?? Well, it seems that I do have a shot in hell of getting the job. And, for crying out loud, if I get it, it's an actual salary. And I enjoy what I currently do, I'm good at it, and it's a good working environment.
HOWEVER...
...should I fail to secure the position, I will not rebound and go in search of a similar position elsewhere. I have no desire to start over in that area, and even less desire to pursue a general career in IT. There is no civilian equivalent for this area of expertise outside of the DoD; the same applies to the Fiance. Neither of us has any desire to continue on in IT for much longer, much less limit ourselves to living within the immediate vicinity of a military installation for the rest of our lives.
So, if I get the job, hooray. I'll work full time, go to school part time, and hopefully move on from IT for good in the next few years. If not, then I'll go to school full time, get my degree sooner, and have the freedom to leave the area whenever the hell we want to in the future.
Does that make any sense?? No?? Whatever. I digress.
So I'm sitting there pondering this job. And, I don't, thinking about all that work waiting for me when I'm done with TAP...all those duties...I just feel sort of drained and numb and...not at all enthusiastic about it. I enjoy the job, but I wonder if I'm just a little burned out??
Thank you, Anonymous, for the tip. STLWed.com should prove to be a useful tool.
My toes are jacked. Time for a pedicure.
Today I sat through Day One (of four) of Transition Assistance Program (TAP) class at the Airmen and Family Readiness Center. It's for service members who are separating/retiring, and is there to give them guidance, advice, tools, etc, for transitioning to civilian life and the civilian job market. As they were going on and on about marketing yourself and your skills and such, I pondered on the one and only job I plan on applying for, the civilian slot within the office I am currently assigned to.
Most would see this as disastrous to my future. The Fiance certainly thinks. I can imagine the fit my father will throw upon reading this. Why am I limiting myself, you ask??
Here's the deal. Many months ago, it was my desire to apply for this job. However as time rolled on, I began to feel that despite my security clearance and real-world experience in this particular area of my Air Force Specialty Code (MOS, for you soldiers), I wouldn't stand a chance in the interview/hiring process. I mean, to go from clerk (don't let that inadequate word lead you to underestimate my real duties) to alternate manager after only a year-and-a-half in the office?? Who was I kidding??
So very, very recently, I decided to abandon all hope and turn my attention towards applying for the post-9/11 GI Bill and going to school full time. The Fiance and Parents were one-hundred-percent supportive of this. My goal was to get my bachelor's in three years or less.
Then the new leadership came to visit.
I drew the short-straw and ended up being the one to brief said leadership on what our office does, what we've accomplished, and the challenges we face. One of those challenges being that, of all the similar office in the command across the nation, we have the most responsibility in our specific area of comm; HOWEVER, we manage said responsibility with the least amount of personnel. I mentioned that during our recent command-level inspection out-brief, the inspectors had placed emphasis on filling the open civilian slot for continuity purposes.
The mentioning sparked a conversation between the bigheads, and before I knew it, I was being encouraged to apply for the slot by no less than the squadron commander and the group commander. "Change one uniform for the other," as the superintendent put it.
Well. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. But, armed with the blessing and approval of leadership, I contacted the civilian liaison for hiring, and found out the job will be re-advertised in the immediate future. So, I am currently putting together my resume to post on the World Wide Web. And when the job become public, I will "self-nominate", in my flight commander's words.
Why the change of heart?? Well, it seems that I do have a shot in hell of getting the job. And, for crying out loud, if I get it, it's an actual salary. And I enjoy what I currently do, I'm good at it, and it's a good working environment.
HOWEVER...
...should I fail to secure the position, I will not rebound and go in search of a similar position elsewhere. I have no desire to start over in that area, and even less desire to pursue a general career in IT. There is no civilian equivalent for this area of expertise outside of the DoD; the same applies to the Fiance. Neither of us has any desire to continue on in IT for much longer, much less limit ourselves to living within the immediate vicinity of a military installation for the rest of our lives.
So, if I get the job, hooray. I'll work full time, go to school part time, and hopefully move on from IT for good in the next few years. If not, then I'll go to school full time, get my degree sooner, and have the freedom to leave the area whenever the hell we want to in the future.
Does that make any sense?? No?? Whatever. I digress.
So I'm sitting there pondering this job. And, I don't, thinking about all that work waiting for me when I'm done with TAP...all those duties...I just feel sort of drained and numb and...not at all enthusiastic about it. I enjoy the job, but I wonder if I'm just a little burned out??
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Terin is totally invited.
So, as I've already shared with you, a co-worker had agreed to brew up some of his apple wine for myself and the Boss Lady to use as wedding favors. About $40 will get me 25 bottles. Pretty sweet deal, huh?? That comes out to $1.60 for a bottle of yummy home-brewed apple wine, bottled and corked. I'll have to figure in labels, too, for the bottles, but I shouldn't be breaking the bank over this.
Thus far, the most expensive things I'm dealing with are the dress (which is couture, ooh la la) at $1,118 before alterations and such, and the reception site at Pere Marquette Lodge and Conference Center, which charges $45 a plate for the Silver Wedding Package, their least expensive one, which includes the following:
And who can forget the 18% service charge (Can you say "gratuity"?? Check out The Waiter's blog post on tipping and how it corrupts our world.) coupled with applicable tax?? Hooray.
I've been using the The Knot for all my wedding planning needs. I first came across it a few years ago when my cousin Christine got married, she used it herself. The Boss Lady is using it as well, and we love what we've seen on there so far. I even made up a wedding budget on there using their awesome budget tool, AND I have my very own semi-personalized to-do checklist.
As I said, I have my heart set on that apple wine for the favors. But then I started looking at different wedding favors on the site today...and I am torn, I tell you, torn!!
First off, I REALLY REALLY want this in burgundy for myself and the bridesmaids.
Pretty!!
But they also have coasters, and candy, and on and on and on...
I will definitely be investing my money in one of these. Because if anything, even the tiniest thing goes wrong the day, I will probably blow a gasket. I'm such a drama queen sometimes.
Thus far, the most expensive things I'm dealing with are the dress (which is couture, ooh la la) at $1,118 before alterations and such, and the reception site at Pere Marquette Lodge and Conference Center, which charges $45 a plate for the Silver Wedding Package, their least expensive one, which includes the following:
- Champagne toast for the head table
- Mirrored tile centerpieces with votive candles (I wonder if I can choose the color??)
- All guest, cake, gift, and guest book tables
- White table linen (maybe if there's enough money leftover, I could throw in black and red napkins)
- All china, glass, and silver
- Dance floor and skirted DJ station (To book a DJ, or not book a DJ??)
- Complimentary night's stay for bride and groom for weddings of 100 people or more (I was originally aiming for that, but that would put a serious strain on the budget. It would be cheaper to just pay for the room ourselves.)
- Cake cutting service (I did mention my cupcakes, right??)
- 10 % discount on Sunday Breakfast Brunch for wedding guests (applies to Saturday evening weddings...oh, wait, like mine)
And who can forget the 18% service charge (Can you say "gratuity"?? Check out The Waiter's blog post on tipping and how it corrupts our world.) coupled with applicable tax?? Hooray.
I've been using the The Knot for all my wedding planning needs. I first came across it a few years ago when my cousin Christine got married, she used it herself. The Boss Lady is using it as well, and we love what we've seen on there so far. I even made up a wedding budget on there using their awesome budget tool, AND I have my very own semi-personalized to-do checklist.
As I said, I have my heart set on that apple wine for the favors. But then I started looking at different wedding favors on the site today...and I am torn, I tell you, torn!!
First off, I REALLY REALLY want this in burgundy for myself and the bridesmaids.
Pretty!!
But they also have coasters, and candy, and on and on and on...
I will definitely be investing my money in one of these. Because if anything, even the tiniest thing goes wrong the day, I will probably blow a gasket. I'm such a drama queen sometimes.
I saw a tattoo cover-up kit advertised on there. I'm still debating whether or not to cover up the two on my shoulders, but this one was so-so in the reviews. If I go that route, I'll need to find one that matches my skin tone, instead of one that'll leave a pink patch on my shoulder, as it did for one reviewer.
I was browsing online for pearl chokers, not really holding out much hope that I'd find one in red. I might just commission my mom to make something for me, she makes jewelry as a hobby, and has even sold a few pieces. She's pretty good.
And if I may, here's the dress Dee Dee is looking to wear (won't let me do a screen shot, gr). Becky wants something to show off her legs. And I want this dress for the rehearsal dinner!! Hawtness.
Alright, that's my wedding vomit for today. TTFN.
I was browsing online for pearl chokers, not really holding out much hope that I'd find one in red. I might just commission my mom to make something for me, she makes jewelry as a hobby, and has even sold a few pieces. She's pretty good.
And if I may, here's the dress Dee Dee is looking to wear (won't let me do a screen shot, gr). Becky wants something to show off her legs. And I want this dress for the rehearsal dinner!! Hawtness.
Alright, that's my wedding vomit for today. TTFN.
Friday, July 10, 2009
THE DRESS...and other details.
THIS IS THE DRESS I WILL GET MARRIED IN.
*drool* And no veil. Definitely no veil. It's perfect as is. I would love to find a wine-colored pearl choker to wear with it, or something similar. Definitely a choker-type necklace. And I wanna buy this beautiful ring from Premier Designs Jewelry for myself and the bridesmaids (Dee Dee and Becky) to wear on our right hands. (When I get a picture of it, I'll post it on here.) It's a large rectangle-shaped black stone surrounded by small white stones, and would look PERFECT with my dress and whatever dresses they pick out (they will wear black, but I'm letting them choose the style that best suits their figures).
So, my colors are gonna be red and black. Instead of a cake, I'm thinking...cupcakes. Red velvet, and dark chocolate, both with cream cheese icing. Also, as favors for the guests, a guy in my office has agreed to brew some bottles of apple wine for me. It was totally my idea, but I am willingly sharing it with the Boss Lady, who got engaged one month before me.
It will be summer wedding. I want the wedding part to be outdoors. We have asked his best friend (and Becky's boyfriend), Deacon Osborne, to officiate. It will be a brief, non-religious ceremony (Fiance is an atheist, I am vague), and then I want us to head indoors for the reception. I want to keep the guest list small. I'm going to be inviting between 60 and 100 people in the hopes that about 40 to 50 of them will show up. (I have learned, after many failed party attempts, to always over-invite if you want a decent showing.) Dee Dee and I will be going sometime in August to scope out the potential wedding/reception site.
Wedding details aside, I couldn't be happier. I love my ring, but I love him more. And now I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him.
Who says you can't have a second chance at happiness and dreams-come-true??
So, my colors are gonna be red and black. Instead of a cake, I'm thinking...cupcakes. Red velvet, and dark chocolate, both with cream cheese icing. Also, as favors for the guests, a guy in my office has agreed to brew some bottles of apple wine for me. It was totally my idea, but I am willingly sharing it with the Boss Lady, who got engaged one month before me.
It will be summer wedding. I want the wedding part to be outdoors. We have asked his best friend (and Becky's boyfriend), Deacon Osborne, to officiate. It will be a brief, non-religious ceremony (Fiance is an atheist, I am vague), and then I want us to head indoors for the reception. I want to keep the guest list small. I'm going to be inviting between 60 and 100 people in the hopes that about 40 to 50 of them will show up. (I have learned, after many failed party attempts, to always over-invite if you want a decent showing.) Dee Dee and I will be going sometime in August to scope out the potential wedding/reception site.
Wedding details aside, I couldn't be happier. I love my ring, but I love him more. And now I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him.
Who says you can't have a second chance at happiness and dreams-come-true??
My apologies.
For the absence. But, really, how many people read this??
The Fiance was in town from the 7th to the 22nd of June. He flew in several hours late, which meant I had the pleasure of driving out to the airport twice. We swung by the living establishment of Deacon Osborne (no religious affiliation) so that he and the Fiance could catch up before we headed to the rural town we have recently taken up residence in.
We left Friday to drive a few hours north to see his friend Blue. The next day, we drove the rest of the way to Chicago. We ordered room service and stayed up watching TV. The next morning, we headed out to track down Deluxe Tattoo (which currently employs Hannah Aitchinson of LA Ink fame). I got tatted up by Chris Smith, the newest member of their crew and an entertaining fellow. I told him what I was looking to get, he got a little creative, and this is what I got:
The Fiance was in town from the 7th to the 22nd of June. He flew in several hours late, which meant I had the pleasure of driving out to the airport twice. We swung by the living establishment of Deacon Osborne (no religious affiliation) so that he and the Fiance could catch up before we headed to the rural town we have recently taken up residence in.
We left Friday to drive a few hours north to see his friend Blue. The next day, we drove the rest of the way to Chicago. We ordered room service and stayed up watching TV. The next morning, we headed out to track down Deluxe Tattoo (which currently employs Hannah Aitchinson of LA Ink fame). I got tatted up by Chris Smith, the newest member of their crew and an entertaining fellow. I told him what I was looking to get, he got a little creative, and this is what I got:
I LOVE IT. It's my first color tattoo.
Afterward, we ate at a "meh" seafood place. Then, I managed to convince the Fiance to take me to the Navy Pier, a place I have wanted to visit since I first laid eyes on it four-and-a-half years ago. We had a BLAST.
Afterward, we ate at a "meh" seafood place. Then, I managed to convince the Fiance to take me to the Navy Pier, a place I have wanted to visit since I first laid eyes on it four-and-a-half years ago. We had a BLAST.
We drove back home on Monday. We got in late afternoon/early evening, and I called Dee Dee to see if she wanted to go get a mani/pedi touch-up. She was busy, so we made plans to do it the next evening. When I got off the phone, he was standing in the doorway of his game room and said, "Come here." I went into the room, and he stood there facing me with his hands behind his back. I knew then what was coming, but I tried to play it cool. I walked out of that room with a ring on my hand.
This is about to turn into a wedding blog, ha ha.
We hit up a hibachi/sushi restaurant that night to celebrate.
And now I just have to wait three more months for him to come home.
And now I just have to wait three more months for him to come home.
This is about to turn into a wedding blog, ha ha.
Monday, June 22, 2009
There goes my heart again.
He's in the air on his way to DC, and onward halfway 'round the world from there. Three-and-a-half more months.
Whoever said parting is sweet sorrow can suck a dick.
Whoever said parting is sweet sorrow can suck a dick.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Don't know when I'll have time to sit and blog before next week, so here's a quick update from my phone for those of you who read this. I got a new tattoo on Sunday, pictures coming soon. We spent the weekend in Chicago and it was a good time. All four of us are happy in the new house. And... I am engaged
Sunday, June 14, 2009
I'm still alive.
True story.
Epic combo of Chi-town and a new tat. Pictures and updates coming soon.
Did you know "Chicago" comes from a Native American word meaning "smelly onion"??
Epic combo of Chi-town and a new tat. Pictures and updates coming soon.
Did you know "Chicago" comes from a Native American word meaning "smelly onion"??
Friday, June 12, 2009
Flags of our fathers.
Oh, dear. Aren't we touchy??First, I want to stay…stop referring to the “Hispanic community” as a single entity. I am a member of the Hispanic community, however I am also a legal citizen and an active duty member of the armed forces. So don’t lump us all into the same category and then accuse all of us of disrespecting this nation that I defend, that my aunt defends, that my father and uncles and grandfather defended. As I said, I am a legal citizen, I have been since birth. My parents are legal citizens. My entire family, uncles and aunts and cousins and what have you, is made up of legal citizens of the United States. And we have no complaints.
Secondly, perhaps the business owner was not aware of the guidelines governing flags?? I mean, at least he was flying the US flag, which means he must be happy and proud to be living here. And obviously he was flying the Mexican flag to show where he originally came from. Yes, he was doing it wrong. He should not have either flag above the other, because the US and Mexico are two sovereign nations, neither bowing to the other. Really, would it have been so hard to knock on the guy’s door and say, “Uh, dude, you’re doing it wrong.” This “veteran” that tore down that Mexican flag?? I am ashamed to have to think of him as a fellow veteran. He’s an idiot. He does not represent what this country is about…diversity.
My dad got me a neat little car decal this past summer when we were in Puerto Rico. It’s still sitting in my wallet, because I’m saving it for when I have a nicer car. It’s a Puerto Rican flag…next to an American flag. Beneath it the words read, “Orgulloso del las dos.” In Enlish: “Proud of the both.” I don’t think that business owner meant anything malicious by flying the Mexican flag above the American flag. I think he was just flying the both to say to the world around him, “Orgulloso de las dos."
Coming to America, making this country your home, shouldn't mean that you have to wipe from your mind and your heart where you came from.
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