Friday, September 13, 2013

Cleaning, or Why Davi's Chores Take Forever.

I decide to clean the kitchen. I start by collecting dirty dishes and glasses for the dishwasher. I clear all the glasses from the dining room and head into the Fordski bat cave to collect more. I notice all the empty soda cans, beer bottles, and tobacco cans that are piling up. He even has a pyramid of empty tobacco cans. I'm not amused. I collect all the trash in a couple of shopping bags. I tie them off and decide to take out some trash, but I'm still in my pajamas. So I head to the bedroom to change and notice how messy it is. I collect all the hangars and set them to the side. I decide to finish folding/hanging the pile of clean clothes on the ottoman, but I need space to work. So I fix the bed, and then I pick up all the dirty clothes off the floor and organize them into their respective laundry bags: pants, shirts, underwear/socks/pajamas, whites. I notice Fordski keeps putting his underwear in the shirt bag. I then grab some glasses off our nightstands and take them down the kitchen, wear I remember my original task of cleaning the kitchen.

Now I'm looking out the window and I realize I forgot to water the garden this morning. Which reminds me, does Thor need to go out again? Better take him out just to be sure. Damnit, I still haven't changed out of my pajamas. And I still need to take that trash out. How many loads of laundry can I get done before I have to go baby-sit at 4 pm? Do I have time to cook dinner, or is Fordski on his own for the second night in a row? That won't do, all he ate last night were Reese's chips and almonds, silly man. Shit, we need to go grocery shopping. We couldn't go yesterday because I worked the swing shift. Can't go today because I'm baby-sitting until midnight. Can't go tomorrow because I have to stay up all night tonight so I can sleep all day tomorrow so I can be awake for my 12-hour night shift. I have to work Sunday night too; maybe I can go take care of it after work and before going to bed? Thor needs a bath, but he's too big for me to do it alone. Is it time to clean the litter box again? I need to bake more bread but that's gonna have to wait until Monday...

This is why I never get anything done.

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