Sunday, August 26, 2012

The endless road.

I don't go east of my town. Everything that is relevant to me is west of here. But today I needed to visit the DMV for a new license, and for once I did not want the hassle that accompanies a visit to the usual office. So I went to one that is 26 miles east of here. Smaller office, smaller crowd, less sass.

I was driving east on the highway, sipping my coffee and enjoying the beautiful morning. Suddenly I asked myself, What if I just keep going? Keep driving east, until I reach the coast. And keep going, never looking back.

I used to have devastatingly strong urges to run away from here. I wanted to disappear and start fresh somewhere else. I wanted to do this with...him. One of the things that made me angry was about the break-up was that it occurred only weeks after I started my new job. I asked myself, Why couldn't this happen beforehand, when I had nothing else to keep me here? I could have moved to live with my parents on the east coast. I could have started over somewhere else.

After all the upheaval in my life, however, it turns out that I no longer want to run away. I'd rather wait patiently to see what happens next. I'm rather excited at the prospect.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Not what I expected.

My life is nothing close to what I thought it would be 10 years ago, when I left the longest relationship I'd been in to date and looked ahead to a future that was dark with uncertainty but bright with hope. The cycle repeats itself, and a series of chance happenings have come together to make my life very interesting right now.
Where would I be right now if I hadn't take Brother hostage one afternoon after an IHOP trip, rather than letting him go home to be productive? That led to us making an unannounced visit to the Ginger, where without warning Brother asked her, "Do you want a roommate?"
What would I be doing right now if I hadn't been listening when Sir Haggis said one night early last month, "Don't be a stranger!"? I was leaving a mutual friend's going away, where I really spoke to Fjord for the first time. I suddenly had people to hang out with again.
Now Ginger and Sir Haggis are an item. Sir Haggis is crazy about the princeling; it is awesome to see him play with Haggis and Fjord and Apple-cheeks. As for Fjord and myself...the future is dark with uncertainty, but o so very bright with hope.
Clearly I was wrong 10 years ago where my path was leading me. So I will not presume to guess again. But wherever I'm headed...bring it on, baby.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Children are tasty.

Had a text conversation with Sister today. Here's how it went down halfway through:

Me: I'll bug you later. Have a good day!
Sister: Nah nah tell me
Me: [Haggis takes over for the texting] Hang on i'm driving and i'm a goofball and my friend is texting you right now [Thanks, Haggis.]
Sister: Hmm why aren't you at work!?
Me: Heading to lunch where we will feast like kings
Sister: Lol what will you be eating?
I told Haggis to tell her I was gonna eat a delicious sammich.
Me: I will be eating little children [Thanks again, Haggis.]
Sister: I like that.
Me: What condiments do you use? Im torn between cholula and horseradish
[I have excellent spelling and grammar. Remember, this is Haggis texting on my behalf.]
Sister: I usually dribble some leftover placenta on there, that'll take it up a notch.
[I take over the texting again.]
Me: Oooh, gotcha. Now, do you steam or fry the umbilical cord??
Sister: I usually don't eat that
Me: Whaaaat, that has so much protein!!
Sister: Meh, don't like the texture
Me:  Dude, bread it and fry it. AMAZING.
Sister: Ok I'm done with this conversation, im actually going to eat a normal lunch now

And you thought I only had disturbing conversations with the Brother. Soon I'll post a bad one between myself and Apple-cheeks.

New characaters:
Ginger, aka Ginger Pirate Queen: My new roommate! I met her through Brother, they went to high school together. She brings into this domestic partnership a 6-year-old boy and a black shiztsu (sp?) that thinks it's a cat.
Ginger Pirate Prince, aka The Princeling: My other new roommate! He brings into this domestic partnership his sass and love of pirates.
Fjord: He sings, he dances, he plays guitar, he charms the ladies, and accepts my verbal abuse like a gentleman.
Sir Haggis: He and Fjord harmonize well together, and he likes to fill my fridge with alcohol. He has a pet gun named Violet. Also, he looks like Russell from the movie Up.
Apple-cheeks: He looks like he's 12, but is in the fact the oldest of this trio of men that formed a unique, homoerotic bond right out of basic military training. He has many nicknames: Bumblebee, Apple-bottom, Apple-tits, Beezy, etc...