Indecision 2009.

It's crunch time. As of 9 March, I have less than six months left in the service.

This week I'm going to e-mail my performance reports to the reserve recruiter, because I just do not have the time to write my resume for the IMA program.

I need to sign up for TAPS class, but I won't be able to attend until mid-May because we're prepping for the MAJCOM inspection in May.

My lease is up in May, and I'm working to enlist two roommates so that we can rent a decent house and afford the expenses split three ways.

It is slowly dawning on my naive brain that I am not going to be able to apply for the jobs I want. Reality is hitting pretty hard right now, so I will apply for the jobs that I am qualified for, even if they're the jobs that make me want shove a few pencils through my brain.

On the other hand, going to school full time has a growing appeal for me. There's a university a few towns over that I'd like to attend. And the new GI Bill would cover most of the tuition, pay for my books, and give me a monthly living allowance.

Of course, if I do that, I'd still have to find a part time job somewhere. And not a lot of places are hiring, but I'll be on the lookout.

My terminal leave starts in August. I stop getting a regular paycheck in September.

I am absolutely terrified.