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Thursday, November 24, 2011

BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL: Bamboo Collection

In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the first of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Bamboo Collection on pages 30 - 31 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]



Spend $40, and get the Petite Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.


Spend $60 and get the Small Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.


Spend $80 and get both spoon sets and the Bamboo Tongs for FREE.


Spend $100 and get all of the above and the Bamboo Salad Claws for FREE.


Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off,  FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

TOMORROW'S SPECIAL: Entertaining, pages 35 - 37 in the catalog!

Pizza and wings, by yours truly.

The dinner plan for this evening was wings. Our Thanksgiving is postponed until the weekend, since Fiance has to work tonight. While the poultry was in the oven, I decided on a whim to make a pizza to go with the wings. What follows is the chronicle of my trials.

First off, the pizza wasn't happening without this.
O, yeah, did I mention I was gonna plug the shit out of my Pampered Chef business? Don't judge.

Within this box there were four pouches; two containing the mix, and two containing yeast. One of each will make one thick crust pizza or two thin crust pizzas (or four,  if you're feeling feisty).
Ladies and gentlemen, preheat your ovens to 425 degrees Fahrenheit ('cause this is America, bitches), and let's get started. Dump the above pouches into your Classic Batter Bowl and mix it up with your Stainless Whisk. Next, add 1-1/4 cup of hot water and 2 Tbsp of olive or vegetable oil (I used olive) using your Measure-All (r) Cup and the Tbsp of your Measuring Spoon Set.
Man, am I shameless or what? Moving on. I have JUST ordered myself a nifty Pastry Blender, so I used a spoon to stir all that up. Then I floured up my Cutting Board.
Like that. Then I dumped the mess onto the board, floured up my hands, and kneaded the dough 8 - 10 times...whatever that means. I just rolled it around until it wasn't too sticky anymore, then transferred it to my Large Round Stone with Handles and rolled it out to within 1/2-in of the edge.
Then I added some lame sauce (haaaa) and un-lamed it with some Italian Seasoning Mix.
I sliced up some ham and bacon and sprinkled that with some Monterrey and Colby cheese onto the pizza. For Fiance, I washed and sliced some baby Portabello mushrooms to add to the pizza. They were pretty dirty.
SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT: That's one of my Flexible Cutting Mats. It comes in a set of a three: red for meats, yellow for chicken, and green for veggies, to prevent cross-contamination. I use them alllll the time. Anywho, the mushrooms were for Fiance, so they went on half the pizza.
Like that. I stuck that bad boy in the oven for 17 minutes. Box says 15 - 20. In hindsight, I could have should have done a couple of things different. One of them would be to leave it in longer for a crispier crust. I also should have maybe split the dough to make two thin crusts, and I should have spread the sauce and toppings closer to the edge. Lessons learned for next. Here's the finished product.
Not bad looking, considering I NEVER make pizza. I don't think I'll subject Fiance to it, though, he's pretty picky. I enjoyed my slice alright, but like I said, I should have done a few things differently. I think I'll go with mozzarella next time, too. And a different brand of pizza sauce...Ragu kinda sucks. All in all, though, not a complete disaster.

Now, on to the wings. I don't have pictures of the prep prior to putting them in the oven, but it's pretty simple. I watched Fiance's friend make wings at home one evening a few months back, so I had an idea of how to cut up the chicken to separate the drummies from the flats. Use a sharp knife (I used my 8" Chef's Knife; holy fuck, I love that thing) and cut the skin at the joint, and just gently nudge around the joint until you find the right spot to cut. Once you get to your third or fourth piece, you have a general idea of where you need to cut. Also, there's an extra bit on the other end of the flat you need to trim off. I sprayed my Large Bar Pan (still seasoning that bad boy) and layered the wings on it, then sprinkled some Buffalo Rub on them before putting them in the oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 35 minutes. Make sure you use a meat thermometer to ensure your chicken is cooked the whole way through! (I use my Digital Pocket Thermometer.)
While those were cooling off, I made the sauce. I also got the idea from Fiance's friend. It's really simple, you just need some ranch dressing and some hot sauce.
I don't use specific measurements here, I just sort of eyeball it and try to use equal parts. You really just wanna play around with the amount to make sure it's the level of heat you enjoy. What I got made my nose run, and that's how I like it.
Once you have achieved the desired level of heat, dump in your wings and toss 'em around in the sauce until they're good and covered, then serve 'em up.
And there's tonight's dinner. I wish the pizza could have been better, but the wings came out fine, and I know what to improve on for next time. It's really the only way to learn your way around the kitchen; no one is born a celebrity chef. And at least I made these mistakes at home, alone, and not at a show, in front of potential customers, amirite?

For more information about The Pampered Chef items featured in this post, e-mail me at DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com. ¡Buen provecho!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Major change.

I changed my major today. I'm dumping History Education (sigh), and taking up Computer Information Systems. It's what I did on active duty, it's what I'm one class away from having an associate's in, and it's what will be more likely to get me hired when I graduate. Plus, this way I can switch back to the monthly evening classes on base and get me a full time job again. Being poor sucks.

More Black Friday specials!

Starting Friday, I'll be posting daily specials thru Monday. They will be one-day-only deals, ending with a final special on Monday that will depend on which sales you took advantage of prior! Again, no charge for sales tax or shipping up to $4.75!! Stay tuned!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

EXCLUSIVE BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL

Order any one of the following gift sets or a gift certificate, and I'll give you 10% off with no shipping and no tax!

Place your order with me between 12:00 AM Thursday, 24 November, and 11:59 PM Sunday, 27 November, to take advantage of this great offer!! (This offer is exclusive to me; the order must be placed with me to get the discount and free tax/shipping.)

In addition, each customer that takes advantage of this deal will be placed into a drawing to be my Mystery Host, entitling you to choose ANY item from the catalog at 60% off! ANY item of your choosing at 60% off, and then another 10% off the total?! PLUS a minimum of $15 in free product!! (Not to mention the possibility of half-price items if guest sales are high enough.) You'd be crazy not to go for this!



Holiday Entertaining
Put this set on the invite list to all your holiday get-togethers! Includes our Holiday Dots Square Bowl, Beaded Spreader and, exclusive to this set, Cranberry Orange Sauce.
#2382, $42.50




Decadent Dessert Sauces
Imagine your chocolate-lover unwrapping this exclusive set - - Chocolate Peppermint, Chocolate Caramel and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sauces!
#2387, $28.50

Bamboo Snack Set
Great for game-day snacking! Four Bamboo Petite Snack Bowls, four Petite Bamboo Spoons and the Bamboo Cracker Tray.
#2388, $45.00
 











1-2-3 Dip! Set
Our exclusive Lemon & Rosemary Oil Dipping Seasoning, Parmesan-Garlic Oil Dipping Seasoning and Small Bamboo Spoon Set in a muslin gift bag.
#2384, $18.50

Sauce It Up
Instant flavor! Our Sweet & Sour Sauce, Spicy Pineapple Rum Sauce and Raspberry Habanero Sauce tucked in a muslin gift bag.
#2386, $35.00


Pizza Party Set
Get the holiday party started! Features our Large Round Stone with Handles, Pizza Cutter, Microplane(r) Zester and Pizza Crust Mix with Rosemary, exclusively available in this set.
#2389, $59.50

Sweeten It Up Set
Treat your favorite sweetheart! In a muslin gift bag you'll receive our Sweet Cinnamon Sprinkle, Sweet Caramel Sprinkle and Sweet Honey Vanilla Sprinkle, which is only available in this set.
#2373, $20.00
Great Grilling! Seasoning & Recipe Collection
Give your grill master a gift that really sizzles: Chili Lime Rub, Smoky Applewood Rub, Smoky Barbecue Rub and The Pampered Chef(r) Grill it Quick! Recipe Collection in a muslin gift bag.
#2383, $20.00












In addition, spend $60 and you receive your choice of ANY of our cookbooks or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE! 

E-mail: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com

Testing new Blogger app...

The blogger app worked on my last Android phone, but I've struggled to make it work on this phone. It's been updated a couple of times and I've re-added the account I use for this, so hopefully it works!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My cat is a goddamn Houdini!

In the time it took for us to watch one episode, no commercials, of Parks and Recreation, Simi snatched a chicken bone off my plate and broke that bitch down into SHARDS. I've only found two little pieces so far. The Goddess only knows there the hell the rest of it went.

What's that sound?

*screaming and cursing from the direction of Fiance's game room*

That, dear readers, is the sweet sound of the newly-released Battlefield 3 Limited Edition.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Vendors Needed: Multi-Vendor Quarters Auction Benefit

I am putting together a multi-vendor quarters auction benefit for next month and I'm looking for vendors. We'll have some vendors set up display tables, and the rest will be filling up the tables with guests. If you haven't done a quarters auction before, it's a great way to drum up business and pull in orders and shows. We're raising money for an individual close to me with a benign tumor growing behind his upper gum line and up into his nasal cavity. His insurance will not cover the surgery needed to remove it or the bone graft needed to fill in the gap that will be left behind. We'll be collecting money via 50/50, a raffle, and selling bid card paddles. If you're interested, we ask that you donate $30 worth of product for the auction to reserve a table for your guests; each additional table will be a simple $5 fee. If you would like to run a display table, it's $10. I already have display tables for Lia Sophia, The Pampered Chef, Thirty-One, Mary Kay, and Premier Designs.

The benefit will be held at the Knights of Columbus hall in Fairview Heights, Illinois, off of Old Collinsville Rd, on Thursday, 17 November. I will be arriving at the hall no later than 3 PM to start setting up for the event, and we'll open the doors to guests at 5:45 with the auction kicking off at 6:45.

For those of you unfamiliar with how a quarters auction works, here's an explanation. Guests (and vendors if they wish) will bid on items with quarters using bid paddles. Each paddle has a number. If a guest sees an item they wish to bid on, they simply place the required number of a quarters in a designated bowl on their table. The bid will be anywhere between 1 and 4 quarters. No one will pay more than $1 for any item they may win. If their number is called, and the person has placed a bid, they win the item. If they haven't placed a bid, a new number is called until a winner is found. Guests will purchase an initial paddle for $2. There's also an option to purchase a Golden Paddle for $25 (limit 1 per guest); this allows them to bid nonstop all night without using quarters. Additional paddles (not golden; limit 3 per guest) can be earned by placing a $40 order with any vendor or booking a show.

This can be marketed as a way to host a free show. Tell your guests that if they bring 8-10 guests with them they can qualify as the "host" of the table. All orders at the table that night go towards their show. This encourages them to invite and bring more guests.

Feel free to spread the word to any vendors you think may be interested, and start inviting guests. If you'd like to get your payment in ahead of time, you can mail it to me (message me for address). I must receive all payments before 5:00 PM the day of the auction. All donated product must have a brief description of the item as well as the retail value; this helps us determine how many quarters we'll ask for in the bid.

Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions about this.

Guests: If you're interested in attending as a guest, e-mail me to reserve a spot. If you RSVP by 1 November, you'll have a free cookbook waiting for you at the event. As stated above, bring 8-10 guests to qualify as the host of the table. Or, you can collect $100 in orders prior to the event and be entered into a drawing for a chance to be my Mystery Host for the evening. This is a fun way to jump start your holiday shopping and help someone in need.

Not able to attend, but wish to contribute in some way? Feel free to place a Pampered Chef order with me. All of my commission will go to the individual. Go to pamperedchef.com to view the catalog and our latest special. (Don't order online, the order will not come to me.)

Thank you, and have a great week. (And go Cardinals!)

E-mail address: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com

Monday, September 12, 2011

Football...

...is not stupid. But it irks me to log into Facebook to see endless football posts. It's like my news feed has bipolar disorder: "Yaaaay Raiders!! OMG I <3 my Raiders!! Greatest team EVAR!!!!!!" "NOOOOOO, MY TEAM IS LOSING, I HATE YOU, WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Stop that.

As for the Miss Universe Pageant...I can live without it.

Today is one of those rare days where I am THRILLED to not have cable.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Gtfo with your chat-n-cut.

I officially started school this week (classes started last week, but we were on vacation), and yesterday was my second day. I have a 40-minute break between classes early in the afternoon, so I went to the cafe on campus for some lunch. Two lines lead to the register, and I was in the line on the right. A girl in the line on the left spotted a friend of her's directly in front of me, and came over to chat with her. She stood in front of me chatting with her friend, showing off her broken sandal and talking about how she almost wore the same shirt, omg!

I saw what she was doing. I had just seen this in an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm".

Bitch was pulling a chat-n-cut!!

I was irritated, naturally. I thought to myself, What would Larry David do? But Larry David has cojones; I do not. So I just stood there, irritated, saying nothing. But then I realized what was about to happen: I was about to let this girl get away with cutting me in line. I was going to go home and bitch to Fiance about it, and he was going to say, "You should have said something." So I leaned in and said, "Just so you know, I appreciate you cutting me."

She looked at me in shock for a moment, then proceeded to explain that she was not in line, she was just talking to her friend. She backed off a couple of inches and continued chatting, but slowly made her way to stand behind me in line. Not in line, my ass.

What an adrenaline rush! Whew...but it makes me think of something that occurred this past Saturday night, while we were still out of town. We spent the weekend in Wilmington, North Carolina, and after hitting the beach during the day, Fiance and I went to dinner with his friends, a married couple that he knew from high school. We ate at a seafood restaurant, and towards the end of the meal became distracted by a boisterous group behind us. One was bragging about an incident during his ROTC days, when he showed up for a meeting with a general with his uniform deliberately in disarray. Then another guy at the table, some obnoxious rich kid, began comparing service members to ball scratchers.

I saw red.

I walked off to have a cigarette and cool down, but I was only becoming more and more angry. I wanted to march up to that asshole and shove my lit cigarette in his eyeball. I went back to the table, and fumed some more. We left without saying a word to that group, though I did openly glare at them for a minute.

I wish now I had said something. Fiance wishes he had, too. Sigh.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Out of touch with the world.

We don't have cable, I haven't followed the news in ages, and I've even stopped getting on Facebook daily. I might be on there once or twice a week now. I decided to see what the hell is going on today.

This made me cry.

STFU, twat.

I really wish it wasn't about politics; I wish it was about doing the right thing.

An interesting piece on race.

Draw your own conclusions.

A couple of things I wanna throw out there. I absolutely will vote for Obama in 2012 if the Republican convention winner is someone like Rick Perry, who believes evolution to be false and believes the world is 6,000 years old. That scares the piss out of me and Fiance, a passionate atheist.

Someone please tell me how many jobs corporations have created as a result of their lovely tax breaks? I'm no economist, and prefer not to express an opinion on something I know next to nothing about. BUT...I'm constantly hearing about how these tax breaks for the wealthy and for mega corporations will help create jobs, and as far as I can see, unemployment remains high even as Obama caves and renews the Bush-era tax cuts. Hmmm!

And with an election year coming up, I urge you to never take at face value anything you hear from the mouth of politicians. Verify everything you hear (death panels, anyone?), and broaden your news sources. On my phone I have apps for CNN, The New York Times, CBS News, ABC News, BBC, and Al Jazeera. But don't stop there. Factcheck.org and Politico.org are only two of the many sites out there that can help you to understand where politicians stands and translate all the political jargon for you. Don't allow yourself to be camouflaged among the ignorant masses. Use all the information sources at hand (books, television, internet) to keep yourself informed and to help you stand up for yourself and form your own opinion, rather than be another mouthpiece for the ventriloquist.

Have a good one, and blessed be.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A year and a day.

So I've decided to buckle down and really commit to my spiritual education. I never heard back from the leader of a group that meets on base, and the few other groups in the area are not accepting new members. SO. I have taken it upon myself to just learn on my own.

To this end, I bought a new book on Tuesday. Blame the Redhead; she's staying with me this week, and dragged me to Barnes & Noble (kicking and screaming, I assure you). < - - *sarcasm* A Year and a Day: 366 Days of Spiritual Practice in the Craft of the Wise, by Timothy Roderick, is meant to be an intensive study course for solitary practitioners. I'm on Day 3 now, but before I can do today's lesson, I have to go hit up a local shop for supplies.

I also bought at the book store a couple of lovely journals. One is small, fits perfectly in my purse, and the pages are unlined parchment. I plan on using it to log random thoughts. I mean, I can tweet all I want, but where will those tweets be when I want to look back in 5, 10, 20 years? The other journal had a Medici lion on the cover, and will be used as my grimoire. I'm sure I'll need another in a couple of months, though; it has less than 200 pages. But it's a beautiful journal, and I couldn't walk away from it. I'll post a pic when I get a chance.

I'm off to shower and head to the shop now. Blessed be!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Dear Casey Anthony...

You have successfully eluded prison. Make sure you tip your lawyer. Never fear, though; there is a special circle of hell waiting for you, you cunt.

Sincerely,
The Dread Pirate Davi

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy Independence Day!

Marching in the Veiled Prophet parade in downtown St Louis on 2 July 2010.
Photo: 932 Airlift Wing.