The Adventures of a Devious Dread Pirate Called Davi.

Buttery Angel Hair Pasta with Parmesan.

2012-01-30T20:58:00.002-06:00

Excellent as a side dish, or double the portion for a light lunch or dinner. Yields 4 servings (1/2 cup per serving), at 4 PointsPlus. This is modified from Cooking Light: 15 Minute 5 Ingredient Recipes.

Ingredients

4 oz uncooked angel hair pasta
1/4 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp butter
Italian seasoning (Optional; I used The Pampered Chef's Italian Seasoning Mix.)

Directions

Cook pasta per package directions.
Drain pasta; mix in butter.
Serve pasta; sprinkle Parmesan.
Eat.

Swai, baby.

2012-01-29T18:05:00.000-06:00

I recently was introduced to the joy that is swai. This is a light, flaky white fish. A bartender at a local bar we've started hitting up told me about it, and scribbled down a recipe for me to try. It was DELICIOUS. I bought fillets without the bone or skin.

Needed:
Swai fillets
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
Portobello mushrooms
Onion
Desired seasoning
Shredded parmesan (if desired)

Directions:

Season fish fillets as desired. I used Old Bay on mine, Cavender's on his.
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Brown the butter in a casserole dish. I assume now that she meant in the over; I did it in a pan and then poured it in.
Saute mushrooms and onion.
Place fish in the dish (ha) and cover with mushrooms and onions.
Cover and bake for 18-20 minutes.
If desired, cover with parmesan cheese and broil an additional 3-5 minutes.

Also, I'm just now using the niftiness that is the recipe builder on the Weight Watchers site. So when I find a good recipe without the nutritional information, I just plug it in to get the PointsPlus value, and just adjust the ingredients as needed. Pretty sweet!

The last time my closet made me cry.

2012-01-29T12:11:00.002-06:00

Months before the wedding we attended in August, I had mentally picked out the dress I would wear. It's this pretty little black and white patterned strapless number with a poofed skirt. I love that dress. On the day of, however, it was squeezing me in all the wrong places. I had a muffin top at the top of the dress, and the rest of my torso wasn't exactly smooth. Fiance had to help me zip it up, and it was a struggle for him. Disappointed, I took it off and reached for the back up.

The next dress also has a poofed skirt, and is red and black. I wore it the day we got engaged. But once again, Fiance struggled to zip it up, and it looked all wrong on me. I was on the verge of tears at this point. I finally settled on another cute black-and-white dress that fit just fine.

On another occasion, I put on a dress that I hadn't worn in four years, a black one with a colorful floral print. Once I forced my arms through the sleeves, however, I knew this wasn't happening. But I couldn't get my arms back through! Crying, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed scissors in an attempt to cut the sleeves off! Fortunately, I only made a tiny tear before Fiance came to my rescue.

I am not fat. But I'm not slender either. The rare times I spend money on clothing these days, I buy size 7. Just a few years ago, I was a size 5. And a few years before that, a size 3. I am not fat. But at some point I had to stop the slow progression. I have 15 pairs of pants in my closet, but consistently only wear four pairs because they are what fit at my current weight. I have two very cute, very stylish (and very expensive!) pairs of jeans that Fiance bought me at Buckle two-and-a-half years ago. He even paid to have the length tailored. I've worn them a handful of times since.

I had several size 3 outfits that I stopped wearing in late 2004, and for years I hung onto them, telling myself, "I'll fit into them someday." Someday never came, though, and I finally gave them all to Redhead's middle-school-aged sister when she moved here with the clothes on her back and a small suitcase.

I am not fat. But I am not happy, either. I want to wear those pretty dresses. I want to wear those cute jeans. I want to button up all the button on my uniform and still have room for lunch! I want to feel confident in a two-piece while sunbathing. I want to walk across a room full of people and not suck in my stomach.

I am not fat. I will never be fat.

Week 1 stats.

2012-01-29T09:25:00.000-06:00

I'm down 3 lbs, lost an inch on my waist, lost a quarter-inch on my hips, and half-inch on my bust and arms.

Here's to Week 2!

Buffalo Chicken Balls

2012-01-28T10:51:00.002-06:00

This has been modified from a recipe found on Martha Stewart's site. Her site did not have dependable nutritional information, which I needed to determine the PointsPlus Value (Weight Watchers) of the food. I also halved it; her recipe makes 72 balls, mine made about 42.

This recipe makes 4 servings; each serving is 9 points.

Ingredients

2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) light unsalted butter
3/4 cup Frank's Hot Sauce
1 lb ground chicken (I used 98% fat free fillet of breast.)
1 large egg
5/6 cups dried bread crumbs
1 Tsp coarse salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Evenly coat a large rimmed baking sheet with olive oil and set aside.

2. Place butter and hot sauce in a small saucepan over low heat. Cook, whisking, until butter is melted and hot sauce is well incorporated.

Remove from heat and transfer to a large bowl; let cool to room temp, about 10 minutes.

3. Add chicken, egg, breadcrumbs, and salt to bowl with butter mixture. I will pause here for a moment to show you how I measured 5/6 cup for the breadcrumbs. I used an Easy-Read Measuring Cup, but you can use a regular one and shoot for half-way between 3/4 and a full cup.

Using your hands (or in my case, a fork), mix until well combined; all the sauce will have been absorbed.

Roll chicken into firm, 1-in round balls. I dug up an old measuring spoon, 1/2 Tbsp, and used that.

Place on prepared baking sheet; line meatballs into rows so they are touching on all sides.

Transfer to over and bake until cooked through, about 15 minutes. (I had mine in for 25; I think the rack was too far from the heat source.)

4. Take out of oven and let stand for 5 minutes before removing from baking sheet. Place on a serving platter and drizzle with hot sauce.

I ate mine plain; I might have enjoyed it more with the sauce, but I was tired of math and didn't have the patience to calculate the additional points if I did that. Next time I will use the mixture to make chicken patties. You could also make a sub with the balls. Let me know how you enjoy it, and share any tweeks you make!

Baked Beef Ziti.

2012-01-28T10:38:00.001-06:00

This is a Weight Watchers recipe, valued at 7 points per serving (8 servings total). It was tasty! Make sure you have a 4-qt casserole dish handy, although my 3.1-qt Deep Covered Baker did the job. You can use regular pasta. I did not use pre-shredded mozzarella, I shredded it myself. Reasons for this can be found here: http://carascookin.blogspot.com/2009/02/block-cheese-vspre-shredded-cheese_26.html

Ingredients

12 oz uncooked whole wheat ziti (more fiber, which means more filling)
2 Tsp extra virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/3 lb uncooked lean ground beef
1 Tsp dried oregano
1 Tsp dried thyme
1 Tsp dried rosemary
1/2 Tsp salt
1/2 Tsp black pepper
28 oz canned crushed tomatoes
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Direction

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Cook pasta according to package directions; drain and set aside.
Meanwhile, heat oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat; add garlic and saute 2 minutes. Add beef and cook until browned, breaking up meat with a spoon (or a Mix-n-Chop!) as it cooks, about 3-5 minutes; drain off any fat and set pan back over medium heat.
Add oregano, thyme, rosemary, salt, and pepper; stir to coat beef. Cook until herbs become fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes and bring mixture to a boil; reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes.
Spoon a small amount of mixture into bottom of casserole dish, just enough to cover the surface; top with half of cooked ziti. Next layer with half of remaining mixture and half of cheese. Layer with remaining ziti and then top with remaining sauce; sprinkle with remaining cheese. Bake until cheese is golden and bubbly, about 30 minutes.

Cheese and Tomato Omelet.

2012-01-28T10:35:00.000-06:00

This is from Cooking Light: 5 Ingredient 15 Minute Recipes. The book describes this as a "veggie-packed omelet". Haha...silly editors, tomato is a fruit! This is VERY filling, and yields 2 servings valued at 4 points each. (Sorry, no picture; I devoured it before I remembered to snap one.)

Ingredients

2 large eggs
2 large egg whites
2 Tbsp water
1 Tbsp finely chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 Tsp salt
1/8 Tsp coarsely ground black pepper
cooking spray
1/4 cup (1 oz) reduced-fat shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup diced seeded tomato (1 small)

Directions

Combine first 6 ingredients in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk.
Heat an 8-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high heat; coat the pan with cooking spray. Add egg mixture, and cook until edges begin to set. Gently lift edges of egg mixture with a wide spatula, tilting pan to allow uncooked egg mixture to come in contact with pan. Cook for 2 minutes or until egg mixture is almost set; sprinkle with cheese. Spoon tomato over half of omelet; fold in half.
Cut omelet in half crosswise, and slide on half onto each of 2 plates.

Why is fiber important?

2012-01-28T10:28:00.000-06:00

Here's a fiber fact sheet from kaiserpermanente.org.

Why is fiber important?

Including fiber in your diet is good for your health in lots of ways. A diet rich in high fiber foods can:

• reduce the risk of heart disease and type 2 diabetes
• lower the risk of several forms of cancer
• improve cholesterol and blood pressure
• help regulate your digestion
• help you feel fuller, so you may eat less

What exactly is fiber?

Fiber is the part of plant foods that our bodies can’t absorb or digest. It is found in fruits, vegetables, beans, peas, lentils, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. Fiber is also known as roughage or bulk. There are two kinds of dietary fiber: insoluble and soluble. It is important to eat plenty of both.

Insoluble fiber comes from fruits, grains, and vegetables. It adds bulk and acts like a brush to clean out the colon. As it passes through the digestive tract, insoluble fiber remains mostly intact. This helps keep your bowel movements regular.

Soluble fiber comes from fruit, some vegetables, oats, beans, peas, lentils, and barley. When mixed with liquid, it forms a gel, which helps control blood sugar and reduces cholesterol.

What is a whole grain?

A whole grain has all three of its original parts: the bran (fiber-rich outer layer), the germ (inner layer), and the endosperm (middle layer). Whole grains are rich in nutrients, including fiber. Whole wheat flour, oatmeal, rye, cornmeal, bulgur, barley, brown rice, and even popcorn are all whole grains.

A refined grain has been milled, so only the middle layer (endosperm) is left. Milling removes much of the vitamins, iron, protein, and fiber. “White” and “wheat” flours are refined grains. “Enriched” flour has had some of the nutrients added back, but not the fiber. White rice is also a refined grain.

How much fiber do I need?

The American Heart Association recommends between 25 and 38 grams of fiber a day in a well-balanced diet. The average American eats only 15 grams of fiber a day.

Adding more fiber to your diet

1. Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Eat the skins and peels whenever you can, because they contain a lot of fiber.
2. Try more recipes with beans, peas, lentils, quinoa, bulgur, or brown rice.
3. Eat oatmeal, bran, or another whole grain cereal for breakfast.
4. Choose breads, cereals, tortillas, and crackers that list a whole grain as the first ingredient on the label.
5. Make at least half of your grain servings whole grains.
6. Add fiber to your diet slowly. If you add it too fast, you may feel bloated or have gas pains.
7. Unless your doctor has told you not to, drink 6 to 8 cups of water and other fluids a day to keep things moving smoothly through your intestines.
8. If you eat wheat bran to keep your bowels moving, start with 1 teaspoon per meal. Increase slowly to 2 to 4 tablespoons a day.
9. Buy unprocessed foods when you can. Food processing often removes fiber.

Read food labels

Look for the “dietary fiber” content on food labels. Good sources of fiber have at least 10% of the “percent daily value” for fiber. When looking for whole grain products, read the ingredient list.

Feeling better already!

2012-01-27T08:57:00.000-06:00

I am feeling so motivated! I stepped on the scale this morning, even tho it's not my weigh-in day, and I'm down more than 2 lbs! It's probably just water weight, and I know I won't lose that much each week. But it's a start, and it makes me feel really good about myself!

I'm not just improving my eating habits and scheduling in more gym time. I've set myself on a sleep schedule after weeks of staying up past midnite and sleeping in until 9 or 10 am. This is in the hopes of spurring productivity. I am far less productive when I'm sleeping in. I've also set myself on a daily schedule, setting aside time for meals and chores and what have you. It's working so far, but this is just the first week.

I'm so excited to be back on this journey to over wellness; I just wish I'd come back sooner!

O, the shame.

2012-01-25T08:30:00.003-06:00

Two years ago, I lost 14 pounds with Weight Watchers. Four failed PT tests and +11 pounds later, I renewed my membership. Last time around, I was updating my progress on here to keep myself motivated. As you can see, as soon as I stopped updating, I fell off the wagon. So for the one or two of you who read this, if I fail to update promptly, feel free to blow up my comments section.

I can't afford to fail another PT test, and I can't afford to update my entire wardrobe with larger clothing. So here are my goals.

For now, lose 5 pounds. This will be updated at goals are met.
Do 20 push-ups in 1 minute. The minimum is 18, so this should get me an extra point.
Do 40 sit-ups in 1 minute. The minimum is 36.
Run a mile-and-a-half in 16:22 (the minimum) or less. Less would be nice, as I used to do it under 14 minutes when I was active duty.
Rediscover the joy of fitness.
Reestablish good eating habits.

I was doing so well before, but as soon as I shaved a few minutes off my run time and got back down to my active duty weight, I let it slide. I am currently 131 lbs. When I left active duty, I was 120. When I went to basic, I was 106! I would like to ultimately get down to 110. Before you say, "What the hell, are you anorexic?!", I should mention I'm only 5'2", and my size 7 clothing is snug. I don't think it's wrong of me to want to be a size 3 again, and even though the current minimum weight for my height is 109, even at 106 I was healthy.

Wish me luck.

Happy New Year: 2012.

2012-01-24T10:09:00.002-06:00

On New Year's Eve, a friend of Fiance's, Blue, and his girlfriend came down for the weekend. I made a Puerto Rican feast for us and Biker, consisting of arroz con gandules, habichuelas, tostones, and what should have been churrasco but ended up being London Broil. (The commissary was out of skirt steak, so I settled for flank steak, and voila!)

I was drunk before we even left the house, having downed two glasses of rum and cola and half a bottle of Moscato. We ran in the New Year at a bar, and Blue's GF dropped me off at the house before taking the guys to the bar in town. The next thing I remember was GF walking into the house, and me shooting up from my prone position on the living room floor. When I mentioned this the next morning, GF responded, "Oh, I thought you were playing with the cats!" I replied, "I think that's how it started!"

The plan for the first day of 2012 was to go downtown for the football game, which was what really brought Blue into town, for he is a 49ers fan. Poor Fiance was too hungover however, and though I volunteered to stay behind and take care of him, he insisted that I go on. This was my first live football game; I'm not much into football, but I did have a good time, and as you may know if you follow the madness, the Niners won.

For dinner we had pot roast, mashed potatoes, and some of the pan de agua (bread) that I had made a few days prior. Delicious! The next day for lunch, I improvised with the leftovers and made French Dip sandwiches for myself and Blue's GF while Blue tucked into a bowl of some leftover beef stew. Yeah, we had leftover for daaayyys. Blue and GF left that day to return home, and I do hope they'll come back to visit in the spring. This was her first time in St Louis, and I'd love to take her downtown to see the sites.

I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays last year, and may this year be full of joy for all of you!

Skyrim...

2011-12-23T13:44:00.001-06:00

...has claimed another victim.

Random question.

2011-12-17T00:20:00.001-06:00

When two opposing sides both fight and shed blood and commit atrocities in the name of god, how do you know which one, if either, actually does have god on their side?

Yule Recipes, Day 7: After Dinner Mint Triangles

2011-12-07T13:46:00.001-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef(r) Season's Best Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010)]

This cool and creamy dessert is the perfect way to end a meal.

Crust
2 pkg (10 oz/283 g each) fudge-covered mint cookies
1/2 cup (125 mL) butter (1 stick)
1-1/4 cup (300 mL) semi-sweet chocolate morsels

Filling & Topping
10 oz (300 g) vanilla almond bark or confectioner's coating candy melts
1 pkg (8 oz/250 g) cream cheese, softened
1 tsp (5 mL) peppermint extract
6 drops green food coloring
1/4 cup (50 mL) semi-sweet chocolate morsels

For crust, place half of the cookies in large resealable plastic bag; crush into very fine crumbs using flat end of Meat Tenderizer. Place crumbs into Stainless (4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl; repeat with remaining cookies. Place butter and chocolate morsels in Small Batter Bowl; microwave, uncovered, on HIGH 1 - 1-1/2 minute or until butter is melted.Stir until smooth. Add chocolate mixture to crumbs; mix until all crumbs are moistened. Spread evenly over Medium Sheet Pan; using hands, firmly pack evenly into pan. Place in freezer at least 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, for filling, place almond bark into Large Micro-Cooker(r). Microwave, uncovered, on HIGH 2-3 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds with Classic Scraper until bark is mostly melted. Remove from microwave; stir until smooth. Whisk in extract and food coloring until smooth. Add bark; whisk well. Spread filling over crust; set aside.
Place remaining chocolate morsels into (1-cup/250-mL) Prep Bowl; microwave uncovered, on HIGH 30-45 seconds or until melted, stirring every 15 seconds. Place small resealable plastic bag into Measure-All(r) Cup. Pour chocolate into corner of bag. Twist top of bag; secure. Cut corner off of bag. Drizzle chocolate over filling. Let stand until chocolate is firm. Cut dessert into 16 rectangles (four rows of four rectangles each). Cut in half diagonally to make 32 triangles.

Yield: 32 triangles (16 servings)

Yule Recipes, Day 6: Warm Spumoni Swirl Brownies

2011-12-06T00:00:00.003-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ RecipeCollection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Richchocolate brownies are swirled with cherry- and pistachio-flavored creamcheeses for a simple, festive dessert

½ cup (125mL) plus ¾ tsp (4 mL) vegetable oil, divided

¼ cup (50mL) shelled pistachios

1 jar (10oz) maraschino cherries, drained (about 30 cherries), divided

8 oz (250 g)cream cheese, divided

¼ cup (50mL) powdered sugar

2 tsp (10mL) almond extract

5 drops eachgreen and red food coloring

1 pkg (18-21oz or 450 g) fudge brownie mix

3 eggs

¼ cup (50mL) water

Additional pistachios,coarsely chopped (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit (190degrees Celsius). Lightly brush LargeBar Pan with 2/4 tsp (4 mL) of the oil using Chef’s Silicone Basting Brush. Grate pistachios with Rotary Grater. Finely chop cherrieswith Food Chopper; blot dry withpaper towels.

2. In SmallBatter Bowl, combine cream cheese and sugar; whisk until smooth. Place halfof cream cheese mixture into (2-cup/500-mL)Prep Bowl. Add pistachios, almond extract and green food coloring; mixwell. To remaining cream cheese mixture, add half of the cherries and red foodcoloring; mix well. Attach open star tip to Easy Accent® Decorator; fill with both cream cheese mixtures.

3. In Stainless(4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl, combine brownie mix, eggs, remaining oil, remainingcherries and water; mix well. Pour batter into pan. Pipe cream cheese mixtureslengthwise over batter in four rows. Gently swirl using flat edge of Small Spreader, creating a marbledeffect. Bake 18-20 minutes or until wooden pick inserted into center comes outwith moist fudgy crumbs attached.

4. Remove pan from oven to Stackable Cooling Rack; cool 2-3 minutes. Cut into 24 squares. Ifdesired, drizzle with melted white chocolate and sprinkle with additionalchopped pistachios. Serve warm.

Yield: 24 servings

Yule Recipes, Day 5: Caramel-Banana Ravioli

2011-12-05T00:00:00.003-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ RecipeCollection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

No one willever guess that it takes only five ingredients to create this rich andsatisfying dessert!

2 firmmedium bananas

3 rolls (1.7oz each) milk chocolate-covered chewy caramels, unwrapped (24 pieces total)

2 pkg (8 ozeach) refrigerated crescent rolls with no seams

1 Tbsp (15mL) sugar

1/3 cup (75mL) Caramel Sauce

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit (200 degreesCelsius). Lightly brush Large Bar Pan withvegetable oil. Using Santoku Knife,slice bananas diagonally into twenty-four ¼-in-thick (6-mm_ slices. Cutcaramels in half.

2. Unroll one package of dough onto bottom of pan,gently shaping to form a rectangle. (Do no stretch. Dough will not cover entirebottom of pan.) Arrange banana slices over dough in for rows of six each, spacing ¾ in (2 cm) apart. Topeach banana slice with two caramel halves. Unroll remaining dough directly overfilling, matching edges and shaping to fit.Press firmly around filling to seal;pinch together any tears.

3. Using PastryCutter fitted with fluted wheel, trim and discard edges of dough; cut into24 ravioli. Using Mini-Serving Spatula,separate ravioli over pan. Add sugar to Flour/SugarShaker; sprinkle over ravioli. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.Remove ravioli to Stackable Cooling Rack;cool 2 minutes. Place on serving plates; drizzle with sauce.

Yield: 24ravioli (12 servings)

Yule Recipes, Day 4: Chocolate-Raspberry Cookie Trifle

2011-12-04T00:00:00.005-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Chocolate-raspberry ganache, white chocolate mousse filling and vanilla wafers create appealing colors and textures that make this trifle great for any occasion.

1 cup (250 mL) milk
1 pkg (3.3 oz or 102 g) white chocolate or vanilla instant pudding and pie filling
1 container (16 oz) frozen whipped topping (6-1/2 cups/1.5 L), thawed, divided
1 cup (250 mL) milk chocolate morsels
1 jar (12 oz or 250 mL) seedless raspberry jam, divided
1 bag (12 oz or 340 g) frozen sweetened raspberries (not in syrup), thawed
1 box (12 oz or 340 g) vanilla wafers, divided

For filling, in Stainless (4-qt/4-L) Mixing Bowl, combine milk and pudding mix; whisk until pudding mixture begins to thicken. Reserve ½ cup (125 mL) of the whipped topping in Measure-All® Cup. Gently fold remaining whipped topping into pudding mixture. Cover and refrigerate.
For ganache, combine chocolate morsels, reserved whipped topping and half of the jam in Small Batter Bowl. Microwave on HIGH 40-60 seconds or until melted, stirring after each 20-second interval. Stir until smooth. Reserve ¼ cup (50 mL) in (1-cup/250-mL) Prep Bowl for garnish.
Place remaining jam into another Prep Bowl. Microwave on HIGH 30-60 seconds or until melted. Place berries into Classic Batter Bowl. Pour jam over berries; stir gently. Set aside 16 cookies for garnish; break remaining cookies in half.
To assemble trifle, place one-third of the broken cookies into Trifle Bowl. Layer one-third of the raspberry mixture evenly over cookies. Top with one-third of the pudding mixture and one-third of the ganache. Repeat layers two more times, finish with a smooth layer of ganache.
Dip reserved whole cookies halfway into reserved ganache; place into top of trifle.

Yield: 16 servings

The girl cat's assassination attempt.

2011-12-03T17:32:00.001-06:00

I opened the dryer to remove a load of laundry, and before I had even straightened back up with an armful of clothes, the girl cat came running to jump into the dryer. She ALWAYS does this. So I started throwing wet clothes into the dryer on top of her. She didn't like that and got the hell out.

I put a load into the washer, started it, and rushed back to my seat on the couch. Little did I know that Girl Cat was lurking under the side table, hidden behind a shopping bag. She came streaking out, timing it perfectly, and tripped me! I yelped, "Oh my God!" and threw my hands out in front of me, landing ungracefully onto the couch. If I hadn't reacted so quickly, I might have busted my head on the coffee table!

A few minutes later a bleary-eyed Fiance emerged from hibernation in his Man Cave, and inquired about the commotion that had awoken him from his slumber. Girl Cat, hearing her master, came prancing out of the kitchen, her belly fat swaying comically from side to side. I pointed at the assassin and told him, "Your cat tried to kill me!" I related the events described in the previous paragraph, and he just looked at me in that bleary-eyed and unimpressed manner, and responded, "Why don't you stop acting so goofy?" Having said that, he turned and went back into his Cave to hibernate for a few more hours.

I suspect a conspiracy.

Batter Bowl Mix Gift Ideas for under $20!

2011-12-03T15:24:00.001-06:00

Are you in the St Louis/Scott Air Force Base are and trying to find some new gift ideas for this holiday season? These cute bowls are $17.00 (or 5 bowls for $75) and I will fill them and have them ready to go for you! Family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, teachers, gift exchanges, etc; whomever you're shopping for, consider giving them one of these bowls!

Order by December 12th, and I can have them ready for pick-up at my house on December 19th, between 10 AM and 5 PM. If you need to schedule another pick-up time, just let me know.

Save time this holiday season, give them something they can keep on using, and let me do the work for you! Choose from one of these four recipes:

Celebration Cookie Mix

A great gift idea for teachers and coworkers! Cranberries, chocolate morsels and pecan look lovely when layered in our Small Batter Bowl.

Batter Bowl Brownie Mix


Simply layer the brownie ingredients like sand art, and give it to the chocolate lover in your life!

Cowboy Chili Mix

A hearty gift that will stick to their ribs. Perfect for coaches and football fans!

Harvest Pumpkin Bread Mix

An excellent fall and winter gift! The recipient of this mix will think of you fondly when baking and savoring these spiced pumpkin loaves.

Each bowl will include a ribbon and a gift tag with the recipe.

E-mail me today to order one of these neat gifts!

Yule Recipes, Day 3: Decadent Chocolate Hazelnut Torte

2011-12-03T00:00:00.020-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

Grated hazelnuts give this cake an interesting flavor and texture.

Nonstick cooking spray with flour
3/4 cup (175 mL) whole blanched hazelnuts without skins, divided
1 small pkg (9 oz.250 g) devil's food cake mix
1 jar (13 oz or 400 g) chocolate hazelnut spread, divided
1/2 cup (125 mL) sour cream
1 egg
1 container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed, divided (3 cups/750 mL)

Preheat ove to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (180 degrees Celsius). Spray one Torte Pan with nonstick cooking spray with flour. Place an 8-in (20-cm) circle of Parchment Paper over center of pan. Using Rotary Grater, grate 1/2 cup (125 mL) of the hazelnuts into Stainless (4-qt/4 L) Mixing Bowl. Add cake mix, 1/3 cup (75 mL) of the hazelnut spread, sour cream and egg; mix well with Small Mix ‘N Scraper®. Pour batter into pan; spread evenly. Bake 12-14 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean.
Remove pan from over to Stackable Cooling Rack; let stand 2 minutes. Invert cake onto cooling rack; remove pan and parchement. Cool 10 minutes. Transfer cake well-side up to Cake Pedestal.
Meanwhile, for filling, combine remaining hazelnut spread and 1-1/2 cup (375 mL) of the whipped topping in Classic Batter Bowl; mix until smooth with Mix ‘N Scraper®. Spread filling evenly into well of cake until Small Spreader. Attach open star tip Easy Accent® Decorator; fill with remaining whipped topping. Pipe whipped topping over filling in a lattice pattern; grate remaining hazelnuts over cake.

Yield: 16 servings

Yule Recipes, Day 2: Easy Limoncello

2011-12-02T00:00:00.005-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

This classic Italian after-dinner liqueur is prepared quickly in the microwave with fresh lemons and lemon sorbet.

3 lemons

1 carton (14 oz) of lemon sorbet (1 ¾ cups/425 mL), softened

1 cup (250 mL) citrus-flavored vodka

2/3 cup (150 mL) of sugar

Avoiding white pith, lightly peel lemons using Serrated Peeler. Thinly slice lemon zest with Santoku Knife. Place lemon zest, sorbet, vodka, and sugar in Large Micro-Cooker®. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 5-7 minutes or until just starting to simmer (do not boil). Carefully remove from microwave; cool 10 minutes.
Strain limoncello into Small Batter Bowl using (5-in/13-cm) Strainer. Serve over ice in four Dots Martini Glasses.

Yield: 4 servings

Yule Recipes, Day 1: Pomegranate-Ginger Cooler

2011-12-01T00:00:00.001-06:00

[From The Pampered Chef® Season’s Best™ Recipe Collection (Fall/Winter 2010).]

This colorful and refreshing cocktail can be enjoyed year-round!

1 4-in (10 cm) piece of peeled fresh ginger root

1 can (12 oz) of frozen pomegranate-cherry juice concentrate, thawed

5 or 6 limes

3 cups (750 mL) of chilled club soda

1 bottle (750 mL) of sparkling wine such as spumante

4 cups (1 L) ice plus additional for serving

Using Food Chopper, finely chop ginger root. Place ginger root and juice concentrate into Large Micro-Cooker®. Microwave, covered, on HIGH 6-7 minutes or until mixture comes to a boil. Carefully remove from microwave; cool 10 minutes. Meanwhile, juice limes with Juicer to measure ¼ cup (50 mL).
Using (5-in/13-cm) Strainer, strain pomegranate mixture and lime juice into Family-Size Quik-Stir® Pitcher discard ginger. Slowly add club soda and sparkling wine; plunge gently to mix. Carefully add ice; plunge gently. Place additional ice in eight Dots Stemware glasses; pour beverage over ice. (For non-alcoholic version, substitute an additional 3 cups of club soda for the sparkling wine.)

Yield: 8 servings

Preview of Yule Recipes: Edited!!

2011-11-30T18:04:00.001-06:00

Here's a list of the recipes I'll be sharing over the next 12 25 days:

Pomegranate-Ginger Cooler
Easy Limoncello
Decadent Chocolate-Hazelnut Torte
Chocolate-Raspberry Cookie Trifle
Caramel-Banana Ravioli
Warm Spumoni Swirl Brownies
After-Dinner Mint Triangles
Mini Chocolate Tiramisu Cakes
Taffy Apple Tartlets
Lemon Gingertinis
Chocolate-Peanut Butter Crunch Bars
Apple-Ginger Egg Rolls
Glazed Lemon Cupcakes with Raspberries
Warm Chocolate-Ginger Cake
Truffle Brownie Cups
Upside-Down Caramel Apple Pie
Spiced Pumpkin Mini Loaves
Rosemary-Citrus Champagne Cocktails
Gingerbread Trifle
Cinnamon Buns
Spiced Apple Cider
Taffy Apple Pizza
Coffee House Cookies
Tiramisu Brownie Trifle
Apple Berry Salsa with Cinnamon Chips

That's right, people. Twenty-five days of recipes. I'm excited. Look for the first one at midnight!

Post # 400, wherein I rage against the chat-n-cut.

2011-11-29T15:38:00.000-06:00

Happy 400th post blah blah blah whatever.

We were at the Bread Co this morning for some delicious coffee, and right before approaching the register, Fiance informed that while I'd been engrossed in a riveting round of Canfield (a card game) on my phone, some woman wearing gym gear with her hair did and her make-up perfectly applied had performed a chat-n-cut on us. Naturally, I was irritated. Fiance was merely amused by it, but I berated him for not saying something to the woman. He was completely unfazed, and I had my coffee in hand, so I let it go.

But I just want to say this. There is only ONE scenario where cutting is acceptable. If you are meeting a friend for lunch, and they are already in line and they are offering to pay for your meal as well as theirs, it is acceptable to join them in their place in line. Now, if they beat you to the meeting location but it was already agreed upon prior that YOU would be paying, their ass better wait for you before getting in line.

But meeting up with a friend after they're already in line, jumping in behind them, and then paying separately? To that I say, fuck you. That is RUDE. Get your sneaky ass to the back of line where it belongs. I was in line first, I've been waiting longer than you, and I'll be DAMNED if you just jump in front of me like you own the goddamn place or your time is far more precious than mine.

I wish Fiance hadn't told me about it. It's bothering the shit out of me now. I hope that hag breaks a nail on the treadmill.

CYBER MONDAY: Stoneware

2011-11-27T21:30:00.001-06:00

In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the final of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Stoneware on pages 26 - 29 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]

Spend $20, get any rub for FREE. Spend $40, get any two rubs for FREE.

Spend $60, get any two rubs and a savory sauce for FREE.

Spend $100, get any two rubs, a savory sauce, and a cookbook for FREE.

Place a minimum order today for $40 and receive The Pampered Chef (r) Stoneware Inspirations cookbook for FREE. If you ordered on all previous days as well, you receive the above FREE items as well.

Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off, FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

Thanks for participating in my weekend-long specials!

CELEBRATING SUNDAY: Outdoor

2011-11-26T21:30:00.000-06:00

In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the third of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Outdoor items on pages 24 - 25 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]

Spend $40 and get the Corn Cob Nobs for FREE.

Spend $60 and get the Corn Cob Nobs and any rub for FREE.

Spend $80 and get the Corn Cob Nobs, a rub, and any savory sauce for FREE.

Spend $100 and get all of the above and any cookbook for FREE.

Don't forget, you can take advantage of the special on Gift Giving sets all weekend, and everyone who places an order will receive 10% off, FREE tax, and FREE shipping up to $4.75. If your order is at least $60, you can take advantage of November's guest special, a choice of any cookbook or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE. You'll also be entered into a drawing to be chosen as my Mystery Host for the weekend! The host automatically receives $15 in free product and the discount is bumped up to 15% with a chance to earn more free product and a higher discount!

E-mail orders to DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com, and leave a comment so I know to look for the e-mail.

TOMORROW'S SPECIAL: Stoneware, pages 26 - 29 in the catalog!

RECUPERATING SATURDAY: Entertaining

2011-11-25T21:30:00.000-06:00

In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the second of my daily specials. Today's special is on Entertaining, pages 35 - 37 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do not order online; e-mail me your order.]

Spend $40 and get the Bar Tongs for FREE.

Spend $60 and the Bar Tongs and Ice Scoop for FREE.

Spend $80 and get all of the above and the Beaded Spreader for FREE.

Spend $100 and get the Wine Bottle Opener for FREE.

BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL: Bamboo Collection

2011-11-24T21:30:00.000-06:00

In addition to my four-day weekend special, here is the first of my daily specials. Today's special is on our Bamboo Collection on pages 30 - 31 in our Fall/Winter 2011 catalog. If you do not have a catalog, here is our online catalog. [Do no order online; e-mail me your order.]

Spend $40, and get the Petite Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.

Spend $60 and get the Small Bamboo Spoon Set for FREE.

Spend $80 and get both spoon sets and the Bamboo Tongs for FREE.

Spend $100 and get all of the above and the Bamboo Salad Claws for FREE.

Pizza and wings, by yours truly.

2011-11-24T20:58:00.000-06:00

The dinner plan for this evening was wings. Our Thanksgiving is postponed until the weekend, since Fiance has to work tonight. While the poultry was in the oven, I decided on a whim to make a pizza to go with the wings. What follows is the chronicle of my trials.

First off, the pizza wasn't happening without this.

O, yeah, did I mention I was gonna plug the shit out of my Pampered Chef business? Don't judge.

Within this box there were four pouches; two containing the mix, and two containing yeast. One of each will make one thick crust pizza or two thin crust pizzas (or four, if you're feeling feisty).

Ladies and gentlemen, preheat your ovens to 425 degrees Fahrenheit ('cause this is America, bitches), and let's get started. Dump the above pouches into your Classic Batter Bowl and mix it up with your Stainless Whisk. Next, add 1-1/4 cup of hot water and 2 Tbsp of olive or vegetable oil (I used olive) using your Measure-All (r) Cup and the Tbsp of your Measuring Spoon Set.

Man, am I shameless or what? Moving on. I have JUST ordered myself a nifty Pastry Blender, so I used a spoon to stir all that up. Then I floured up my Cutting Board.

Like that. Then I dumped the mess onto the board, floured up my hands, and kneaded the dough 8 - 10 times...whatever that means. I just rolled it around until it wasn't too sticky anymore, then transferred it to my Large Round Stone with Handles and rolled it out to within 1/2-in of the edge.

Then I added some lame sauce (haaaa) and un-lamed it with some Italian Seasoning Mix.

I sliced up some ham and bacon and sprinkled that with some Monterrey and Colby cheese onto the pizza. For Fiance, I washed and sliced some baby Portabello mushrooms to add to the pizza. They were pretty dirty.

SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT: That's one of my Flexible Cutting Mats. It comes in a set of a three: red for meats, yellow for chicken, and green for veggies, to prevent cross-contamination. I use them alllll the time. Anywho, the mushrooms were for Fiance, so they went on half the pizza.

Like that. I stuck that bad boy in the oven for 17 minutes. Box says 15 - 20. In hindsight, I ~~could have~~ should have done a couple of things different. One of them would be to leave it in longer for a crispier crust. I also should have maybe split the dough to make two thin crusts, and I should have spread the sauce and toppings closer to the edge. Lessons learned for next. Here's the finished product.

Not bad looking, considering I NEVER make pizza. I don't think I'll subject Fiance to it, though, he's pretty picky. I enjoyed my slice alright, but like I said, I should have done a few things differently. I think I'll go with mozzarella next time, too. And a different brand of pizza sauce...Ragu kinda sucks. All in all, though, not a complete disaster.

Now, on to the wings. I don't have pictures of the prep prior to putting them in the oven, but it's pretty simple. I watched Fiance's friend make wings at home one evening a few months back, so I had an idea of how to cut up the chicken to separate the drummies from the flats. Use a sharp knife (I used my 8" Chef's Knife; holy fuck, I love that thing) and cut the skin at the joint, and just gently nudge around the joint until you find the right spot to cut. Once you get to your third or fourth piece, you have a general idea of where you need to cut. Also, there's an extra bit on the other end of the flat you need to trim off. I sprayed my Large Bar Pan (still seasoning that bad boy) and layered the wings on it, then sprinkled some Buffalo Rub on them before putting them in the oven at 400 degrees Fahrenheit for 35 minutes. Make sure you use a meat thermometer to ensure your chicken is cooked the whole way through! (I use my Digital Pocket Thermometer.)

While those were cooling off, I made the sauce. I also got the idea from Fiance's friend. It's really simple, you just need some ranch dressing and some hot sauce.

I don't use specific measurements here, I just sort of eyeball it and try to use equal parts. You really just wanna play around with the amount to make sure it's the level of heat you enjoy. What I got made my nose run, and that's how I like it.

Once you have achieved the desired level of heat, dump in your wings and toss 'em around in the sauce until they're good and covered, then serve 'em up.

And there's tonight's dinner. I wish the pizza could have been better, but the wings came out fine, and I know what to improve on for next time. It's really the only way to learn your way around the kitchen; no one is born a celebrity chef. And at least I made these mistakes at home, alone, and not at a show, in front of potential customers, amirite?

For more information about The Pampered Chef items featured in this post, e-mail me at DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com. ¡Buen provecho!

Major change.

2011-11-22T18:21:00.000-06:00

I changed my major today. I'm dumping History Education (sigh), and taking up Computer Information Systems. It's what I did on active duty, it's what I'm one class away from having an associate's in, and it's what will be more likely to get me hired when I graduate. Plus, this way I can switch back to the monthly evening classes on base and get me a full time job again. Being poor sucks.

More Black Friday specials!

2011-11-22T10:38:00.000-06:00

Starting Friday, I'll be posting daily specials thru Monday. They will be one-day-only deals, ending with a final special on Monday that will depend on which sales you took advantage of prior! Again, no charge for sales tax or shipping up to $4.75!! Stay tuned!

EXCLUSIVE BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL

2011-11-20T17:45:00.000-06:00

Order any one of the following gift sets or a gift certificate, and I'll give you 10% off with no shipping and no tax!

Place your order with me between 12:00 AM Thursday, 24 November, and 11:59 PM Sunday, 27 November, to take advantage of this great offer!! (This offer is exclusive to me; the order must be placed with me to get the discount and free tax/shipping.)

In addition, each customer that takes advantage of this deal will be placed into a drawing to be my Mystery Host, entitling you to choose ANY item from the catalog at 60% off! ANY item of your choosing at 60% off, and then another 10% off the total?! PLUS a minimum of $15 in free product!! (Not to mention the possibility of half-price items if guest sales are high enough.) You'd be crazy not to go for this!

Holiday Entertaining
Put this set on the invite list to all your holiday get-togethers! Includes our Holiday Dots Square Bowl, Beaded Spreader and, exclusive to this set, Cranberry Orange Sauce.
#2382, $42.50

Decadent Dessert Sauces
Imagine your chocolate-lover unwrapping this exclusive set - - Chocolate Peppermint, Chocolate Caramel and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sauces!
#2387, $28.50

Bamboo Snack Set
Great for game-day snacking! Four Bamboo Petite Snack Bowls, four Petite Bamboo Spoons and the Bamboo Cracker Tray.
#2388, $45.00

1-2-3 Dip! Set
Our exclusive Lemon & Rosemary Oil Dipping Seasoning, Parmesan-Garlic Oil Dipping Seasoning and Small Bamboo Spoon Set in a muslin gift bag.
#2384, $18.50

Sauce It Up
Instant flavor! Our Sweet & Sour Sauce, Spicy Pineapple Rum Sauce and Raspberry Habanero Sauce tucked in a muslin gift bag.
#2386, $35.00

Pizza Party Set
Get the holiday party started! Features our Large Round Stone with Handles, Pizza Cutter, Microplane(r) Zester and Pizza Crust Mix with Rosemary, exclusively available in this set.
#2389, $59.50

Sweeten It Up Set
Treat your favorite sweetheart! In a muslin gift bag you'll receive our Sweet Cinnamon Sprinkle, Sweet Caramel Sprinkle and Sweet Honey Vanilla Sprinkle, which is only available in this set.
#2373, $20.00

Great Grilling! Seasoning & Recipe Collection
Give your grill master a gift that really sizzles: Chili Lime Rub, Smoky Applewood Rub, Smoky Barbecue Rub and The Pampered Chef(r) Grill it Quick! Recipe Collection in a muslin gift bag.
#2383, $20.00

In addition, spend $60 and you receive your choice of ANY of our cookbooks or the Bamboo Kitchen Towel for FREE!

E-mail: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com

Testing new Blogger app...

2011-11-20T11:42:00.001-06:00

The blogger app worked on my last Android phone, but I've struggled to make it work on this phone. It's been updated a couple of times and I've re-added the account I use for this, so hopefully it works!

My cat is a goddamn Houdini!

2011-10-25T20:44:00.000-05:00

In the time it took for us to watch one episode, no commercials, of Parks and Recreation, Simi snatched a chicken bone off my plate and broke that bitch down into SHARDS. I've only found two little pieces so far. The Goddess only knows there the hell the rest of it went.

What's that sound?

2011-10-25T19:38:00.000-05:00

*screaming and cursing from the direction of Fiance's game room*

That, dear readers, is the sweet sound of the newly-released Battlefield 3 Limited Edition.

Vendors Needed: Multi-Vendor Quarters Auction Benefit

2011-10-23T13:37:00.000-05:00

I am putting together a multi-vendor quarters auction benefit for next month and I'm looking for vendors. We'll have some vendors set up display tables, and the rest will be filling up the tables with guests. If you haven't done a quarters auction before, it's a great way to drum up business and pull in orders and shows. We're raising money for an individual close to me with a benign tumor growing behind his upper gum line and up into his nasal cavity. His insurance will not cover the surgery needed to remove it or the bone graft needed to fill in the gap that will be left behind. We'll be collecting money via 50/50, a raffle, and selling bid card paddles. If you're interested, we ask that you donate $30 worth of product for the auction to reserve a table for your guests; each additional table will be a simple $5 fee. If you would like to run a display table, it's $10. I already have display tables for Lia Sophia, The Pampered Chef, Thirty-One, Mary Kay, and Premier Designs.

The benefit will be held at the Knights of Columbus hall in Fairview Heights, Illinois, off of Old Collinsville Rd, on Thursday, 17 November. I will be arriving at the hall no later than 3 PM to start setting up for the event, and we'll open the doors to guests at 5:45 with the auction kicking off at 6:45.

For those of you unfamiliar with how a quarters auction works, here's an explanation. Guests (and vendors if they wish) will bid on items with quarters using bid paddles. Each paddle has a number. If a guest sees an item they wish to bid on, they simply place the required number of a quarters in a designated bowl on their table. The bid will be anywhere between 1 and 4 quarters. No one will pay more than $1 for any item they may win. If their number is called, and the person has placed a bid, they win the item. If they haven't placed a bid, a new number is called until a winner is found. Guests will purchase an initial paddle for $2. There's also an option to purchase a Golden Paddle for $25 (limit 1 per guest); this allows them to bid nonstop all night without using quarters. Additional paddles (not golden; limit 3 per guest) can be earned by placing a $40 order with any vendor or booking a show.

This can be marketed as a way to host a free show. Tell your guests that if they bring 8-10 guests with them they can qualify as the "host" of the table. All orders at the table that night go towards their show. This encourages them to invite and bring more guests.

Feel free to spread the word to any vendors you think may be interested, and start inviting guests. If you'd like to get your payment in ahead of time, you can mail it to me (message me for address). I must receive all payments before 5:00 PM the day of the auction. All donated product must have a brief description of the item as well as the retail value; this helps us determine how many quarters we'll ask for in the bid.

Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions about this.

Guests: If you're interested in attending as a guest, e-mail me to reserve a spot. If you RSVP by 1 November, you'll have a free cookbook waiting for you at the event. As stated above, bring 8-10 guests to qualify as the host of the table. Or, you can collect $100 in orders prior to the event and be entered into a drawing for a chance to be my Mystery Host for the evening. This is a fun way to jump start your holiday shopping and help someone in need.

Not able to attend, but wish to contribute in some way? Feel free to place a Pampered Chef order with me. All of my commission will go to the individual. Go to pamperedchef.com to view the catalog and our latest special. (Don't order online, the order will not come to me.)

Thank you, and have a great week. (And go Cardinals!)

E-mail address: DreadPirateDavi@facebook.com

Football...

2011-09-12T21:13:00.000-05:00

...is not stupid. But it irks me to log into Facebook to see endless football posts. It's like my news feed has bipolar disorder: "Yaaaay Raiders!! OMG I <3 my Raiders!! Greatest team EVAR!!!!!!" "NOOOOOO, MY TEAM IS LOSING, I HATE YOU, WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Stop that.

As for the Miss Universe Pageant...I can live without it.

Today is one of those rare days where I am THRILLED to not have cable.

Gtfo with your chat-n-cut.

2011-09-08T10:38:00.000-05:00

I officially started school this week (classes started last week, but we were on vacation), and yesterday was my second day. I have a 40-minute break between classes early in the afternoon, so I went to the cafe on campus for some lunch. Two lines lead to the register, and I was in the line on the right. A girl in the line on the left spotted a friend of her's directly in front of me, and came over to chat with her. She stood in front of me chatting with her friend, showing off her broken sandal and talking about how she almost wore the same shirt, omg!

I saw what she was doing. I had just seen this in an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm".

Bitch was pulling a chat-n-cut!!

I was irritated, naturally. I thought to myself, What would Larry David do? But Larry David has cojones; I do not. So I just stood there, irritated, saying nothing. But then I realized what was about to happen: I was about to let this girl get away with cutting me in line. I was going to go home and bitch to Fiance about it, and he was going to say, "You should have said something." So I leaned in and said, "Just so you know, I appreciate you cutting me."

She looked at me in shock for a moment, then proceeded to explain that she was not in line, she was just talking to her friend. She backed off a couple of inches and continued chatting, but slowly made her way to stand behind me in line. Not in line, my ass.

What an adrenaline rush! Whew...but it makes me think of something that occurred this past Saturday night, while we were still out of town. We spent the weekend in Wilmington, North Carolina, and after hitting the beach during the day, Fiance and I went to dinner with his friends, a married couple that he knew from high school. We ate at a seafood restaurant, and towards the end of the meal became distracted by a boisterous group behind us. One was bragging about an incident during his ROTC days, when he showed up for a meeting with a general with his uniform deliberately in disarray. Then another guy at the table, some obnoxious rich kid, began comparing service members to ball scratchers.

I saw red.

I walked off to have a cigarette and cool down, but I was only becoming more and more angry. I wanted to march up to that asshole and shove my lit cigarette in his eyeball. I went back to the table, and fumed some more. We left without saying a word to that group, though I did openly glare at them for a minute.

I wish now I had said something. Fiance wishes he had, too. Sigh.

Out of touch with the world.

2011-08-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

We don't have cable, I haven't followed the news in ages, and I've even stopped getting on Facebook daily. I might be on there once or twice a week now. I decided to see what the hell is going on today.

This made me cry.

STFU, twat.

I really wish it wasn't about politics; I wish it was about doing the right thing.

An interesting piece on race.

Draw your own conclusions.

A couple of things I wanna throw out there. I absolutely will vote for Obama in 2012 if the Republican convention winner is someone like Rick Perry, who believes evolution to be false and believes the world is 6,000 years old. That scares the piss out of me and Fiance, a passionate atheist.

Someone please tell me how many jobs corporations have created as a result of their lovely tax breaks? I'm no economist, and prefer not to express an opinion on something I know next to nothing about. BUT...I'm constantly hearing about how these tax breaks for the wealthy and for mega corporations will help create jobs, and as far as I can see, unemployment remains high even as Obama caves and renews the Bush-era tax cuts. Hmmm!

And with an election year coming up, I urge you to never take at face value anything you hear from the mouth of politicians. Verify everything you hear (death panels, anyone?), and broaden your news sources. On my phone I have apps for CNN, The New York Times, CBS News, ABC News, BBC, and Al Jazeera. But don't stop there. Factcheck.org and Politico.org are only two of the many sites out there that can help you to understand where politicians stands and translate all the political jargon for you. Don't allow yourself to be camouflaged among the ignorant masses. Use all the information sources at hand (books, television, internet) to keep yourself informed and to help you stand up for yourself and form your own opinion, rather than be another mouthpiece for the ventriloquist.

Have a good one, and blessed be.

A year and a day.

2011-07-07T15:39:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to buckle down and really commit to my spiritual education. I never heard back from the leader of a group that meets on base, and the few other groups in the area are not accepting new members. SO. I have taken it upon myself to just learn on my own.

To this end, I bought a new book on Tuesday. Blame the Redhead; she's staying with me this week, and dragged me to Barnes & Noble (kicking and screaming, I assure you). < - - *sarcasm* A Year and a Day: 366 Days of Spiritual Practice in the Craft of the Wise, by Timothy Roderick, is meant to be an intensive study course for solitary practitioners. I'm on Day 3 now, but before I can do today's lesson, I have to go hit up a local shop for supplies.

I also bought at the book store a couple of lovely journals. One is small, fits perfectly in my purse, and the pages are unlined parchment. I plan on using it to log random thoughts. I mean, I can tweet all I want, but where will those tweets be when I want to look back in 5, 10, 20 years? The other journal had a Medici lion on the cover, and will be used as my grimoire. I'm sure I'll need another in a couple of months, though; it has less than 200 pages. But it's a beautiful journal, and I couldn't walk away from it. I'll post a pic when I get a chance.

I'm off to shower and head to the shop now. Blessed be!

Dear Casey Anthony...

2011-07-05T19:18:00.000-05:00

You have successfully eluded prison. Make sure you tip your lawyer. Never fear, though; there is a special circle of hell waiting for you, you cunt.

Sincerely,
The Dread Pirate Davi

Happy Independence Day!

2011-07-04T14:01:00.000-05:00

Marching in the Veiled Prophet parade in downtown St Louis on 2 July 2010.
Photo: 932 Airlift Wing.

Hooray for gay marriage in New York!

2011-06-25T18:37:00.002-05:00

Yippee!!

Know of any local covens in southwestern Illinois?

2011-06-25T17:37:00.000-05:00

I've been looking online for a coven to join in the local area, because reading about Wicca just isn't cutting it for me. Hands-on has always been the easiest way for me to learn, and I'm gonna need some instruction from another person in order to do that. I found information on a group that meets on base monthly, but I e-mailed the POC several days ago and have heard nothing as of yet. I found a couple of other groups in the area, but they have well over one hundred members, and I'm looking for a smaller, tight-knit group to learn from. Help?

My cats are inconsiderate assholes.

2011-06-25T13:01:00.000-05:00

Most of my house is carpeted, but the kitchen is linoleum, obviously. Cheap linoleum , but linoleum nonetheless. If something spills onto the floor, easy clean up. So tell me why, every fucking time Simi inevitably gags on the wet cat food that he literally inhaled in 7.46 seconds, he has to vomit it all up on the CARPET?!

Fiance doesn't understand my "obsession" with curtains. It is my desire to eventually have ALL the blinds in the house replaced with curtains. This is because of the damage done to said blinds by the cats...mainly Simi, but with some small assistance from SoCo. You see, a more considerate cat with a desire to view the outside world would simply pull down on the slats. This bends the slats, yes, but is infinitely preferable to what MY cats do: chew their fucking way through the blinds until the offending obstacle is removed. I shit you not, they will chew off pieces of the slats to create a little "window" in the blinds so that they can window watch to their hearts' content.

Assholes.

Dear APA style

2011-06-24T16:05:00.002-05:00

Fuck you.

Sincerely,
The Dread Pirate Davi

Yes, damn you, I still have three stripes.

2011-06-23T13:43:00.000-05:00

I grow weary of the "OMFG WHY YOU NO HAVE FOURTH STRIPE" response I get every time I post a picture of myself in uniform. You guys just make me feel really, really shitty about it. Yeah, I got a line number for staff when I was active duty, but that was three weeks before my separation date, and line numbers don't mean anything in the reserves. The squadron I was in the entire time I was active duty never bothered to send me to Airman Leadership School, even though I was there for five-and-a-half years. They sent four-year enlistees with no intentions of re-enlisting. They sent everyone who had joined the Air Force and put on Senior Airman looooong after I did. But they never sent me. And so here I sit, an airman, until my fat ass can pass a PT test and get an ALS slot.

Hello, Slovenia!

2011-06-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

*waves*

(After the U.S., the majority of the views on my blog come from Slovenia. How does one say "hello" in Slovenian? How about "thanks for reading"?)

Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps Summer Leadership School, Days 0, 1, 2, 3!

2011-06-15T23:03:00.000-05:00

This week is the AFJROTC SLS summer camp (that's a mouthful and a half), and I volunteered to be a cadre. There are ten flights, with fourteen cadets in each one. They come from twenty or so school across six states - - Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri, Alabama, and Mississippi. They mix 'em all up into these flights and hand 'em over to us cadres for the week.

It started Sunday afternoon at the base theatre, where the camp commandant and one of the JROTC instructors went over the rules, the responsibilities of the cadres, and the schedule for the week. Then we headed out to meet our flights.

I was assigned to "C" (Charlie) flight, and given a gray shirt (each flight has its own color). After explaining the rules to them and practicing some drill, we took them into the bowling alley for bowling and pizza. As you know, I have a preference for using aliases as opposed to real names, so I'm going to refer to my fellow cadres by the nicknames provided by our sweet, darling cadets:

Bumblee - - the lead cadre, a captain in the reserves and a nurse.
Lt Bubbly - - the commandant's son, another reservist and a medic.
TSgt P - - I can't recall his nickname. He is forces support and usually joins us after dinner.
Sweet Trouble - - a gung-ho military cop. According to the gossip, all the girls are sweet on him.
A1C K - - I can't recall his nickname either. He's civil engineering.
Little Devil/La Diabla - - yours truly.

Now, allow me to introduce you to my cadets, who received their nicknames on Day 0 (Sunday):

Aly Pom-Pom - - drives a bright yellow 40th anniversary Corvette!!!!
Jream - - sassy little thing.
Mario - - a tomboy.
Shar - - we call her Kardashian too, 'cause she looks like Kim Kardashian. She's a chatterbox.
Karma - - a little on the quieter side, but pair her up with Shar, and you've got the Kardashian Twins.
Ginger - - a redhead, and possibly the most mature girl of the bunch.
Smores - - so named 'cause it's sounds similar to her surname. Very quiet, but smiles a lot.
Sausage - - this is her nickname at her high school; I have no idea why. She's also very quiet, but kinda stands off to the side too. I'm gonna have to fix that.
Wisconsin Cheese - - obviously, he's from Wisconsin.
Tennis - - seems to be the most mature boy. All the girls are crushing him, too.
Brains - - a little on the nerdy side, but a good kid.
Brett Favre - - a local kid who knows all the PA guys that Fiance used to party with, haha. Also, a huge Greenbay fan; he has a tattoo on his back!
Banana Shorts - - he was wearing banana shorts when we met him! He likes to get smart with me, but all I gotta do is look at him and shuts his trap.
Mad Skillz - - probably the sharpest kid we have. He'll be our drill master for the drill competition.

I'm in love with these kids. They make me laugh, and they're such great kids. We all love the heck outta them. Sweet Trouble def has a soft spot for Brains, and I've def got one for Aly Pom-Pom and Mario. They're so happy to see us each day, and disappointed if we have to take off early.

On Monday morning, our flight almost got in trouble right off the bat because everyone was outside formed up before 5:30 AM, but only a couple from Charlie flight were out. But it wasn't their fault; as the captain (Bumblebee) understood it (this is her fifteenth year doing this; she's a former cadet herself), the cadets were not allowed out of their rooms BEFORE 5:30. So fortunately no one bothered them about it.

They did PT, and then went for breakfast. We made sure our flight sat down basic training style: stand at parade rest behind your chair until the table is filled, then the last person calls them to attention and directs them to sit. Then they went and changed, and we headed to the YMCA camp for some team building.

Our Y instructor was great, and he was especially charmed by our kids. He's been doing the team building for the JROTC for several years, and he said this was the best group yet. They never fought; they came together and worked through every problem the counselor presented to them. We did a little hiking through the woods, and we made sure they marched everywhere they went, calling jodies (marching chants). We at lunch, and while doing so Jream snuck off and stole the guidon from F flight!

Each flight has a guidon (unit flag on a stick) to match their color. There's a game they play while they're here that's kinda like capture the flag. The the dining facility on base, the PT area, the cadres, and the bus (we learned later) are safe zones: they guidons cannot be stolen. They also cannot be stolen as long as the guidon bearer has their hand on it. But if it's just resting between their arms, it's fair game. At the end of the day the guidon must be returned, but not before the losing flight does something silly (with the thief) to earn it back. (I didn't catch what they did that night; I had class).

We went and did a few more activities, and then we went canoeing. The counselors let the cadres take kayaks out. TSgt P and A1C K weren't there for the camp, but the rest of us def took advantage of the kayaks, and got soaked by splashing paddles for our efforts. Because of this, I left early so I could shower and change before class. After class, I swung by the parking lot in from of billeting just to say hello before heading home.

Tuesday was an opportunity for cadres to run errands or take a much-needed nap; I was the only one for our flight who didn't. We were there for PT and breakfast, and then their room and uniform inspections (they looked so spiffy in their blues!). But after that it was career day for them, and they were with their instructors visiting a work center on base. I went with the group that went to my reserve wing to take tours of the C-9 and C-40; I've been in the C-9, but not the C-40. The C-9 is an oooold plane. Brains and Mad Skillz were in this group. We went to the hangar, and my boss, the PA officer, was there to take photos. My wing commander came out to explain our mission, and then he handed the group over to the pilots, crew chiefs, and flight attendants to tour the aircraft.

For lunch I just sat off by myself since the flights were all jumbled up, but Brett Favre joined me, and I answered his questions about the Air Force. After lunch they changed out of their blues and the flights re-formed to march over to the Airman Leadership School; A1C K and Sweet Trouble joined us then. When I heard they would receive a briefing on mental wellness, I exclaimed in horror, "But they're too young for Powerpoint!" (Ha ha.) Then they marched over to the honor guard building across the street. The honor guard members explained their congressional mandate, and then gave a demonstration of military funeral honors for retirees.

Now, lemme backtrack to tell you how we learned the buses were safe zones. Aly Pom-Pom noticed the flag for D flight was out of the guidon bearer's hand, so she reached over and grabbed it. They guidon bearer, a girl, proceeded to tell my girl, "Give me back my guidon, or I'm gonna punch you in the face." I was LIVID when I heard about it, but I calmed down after a bit. The Delta cadres weren't around, and didn't show up again until we went to play sports after dinner. When I noticed this, I let their flight commander (a cadet) know that if they needed anything, to feel free to come to me. Their flight commander was, in my opinion, a more shining example of what a cadet should be. She thanked me several times throughout the afternoon for keeping an eye on them, and I let their cadre know that.

I told my fellow cadres, and a couple of other cadres, about what happened. So by the time I did speak to the Delta cadre, he told me in surprise, "I heard about what happened, but I didn't realize it was my flight." He had his guidon bearer come over and apologize to Aly Pom-Pom.

Poor Aly Pom-Pom rolled her ankle right before sports, and either had to lean on us to get around or catch a ride with an instructor. Our kids had a blast at sports, winning every game minus one (but we refuse to acknowledge the loss).

All day yesterday, I was wearing skinny jeans with an old pair of black combat boots, pink belt sprinkled with skulls, my big skull-and-crossbones watch, and aviators. Jream asked me with a straight face, "Are you a rockstar?"

I didn't join them for PT this morning; I got some much-needed sleep and caught a few minutes of quality time with Fiance. I went out to join them for their security forces (cops) activities later in the morning, starting at the K9 facility, where they were getting a demonstration. The cadets all laughed at the sight of a cop (in a body suit) getting chewed up. I said to my cadets, "I'm glad you guys find human suffering hilarious." Suddenly the cop who was narrating the demonstration asks, "Charlie flight, do you guys wanna see [Sweet Trouble] get [chewed up]?" Their response was a very enthusiastic, "YES SIR." He put on the body suit, and ran away from the dog, who picked up speed, leapt into the air, latched onto his arm, spun him around, and slammed him into the ground. It. Was. EPIC.

But they had done it too quickly for Bumblee to snap a photo for the kids, so they did it AGAIN. I caught it on video! (Please lower the volume and excuse my obnoxious laughter.)

From there they went to the main SF building, where they learned up weapons, checked out a police cruiser, climbed into a humvee, got a tour of the holding cells, and got a CSI lesson. Then it was lunchtime out at the base lake, where they enjoyed their delicious MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) while I choked down a crummy O'Charley's sandwich. (Haha, I got some dirty looks.)

When they were done they went out into the field for a mini obstacle course (which was strangely free of any obstacles). They put some camo-makeup on their faces, and then attacked us cadres to put the makeup on us. A cop, Sgt B, told them what they were gonna do, and then had Sweet Trouble and another cop demonstrate: they ran out halfway to Sgt B, dropped onto the ground and rolled in one direction, got back and up and ran the rest of the way to Sgt B, and rolled in the opposite direction. Then they turned around and high-crawled back: dragging oneself using elbows and knees without lifting the body off the ground. Finally they low-crawled back to Sgt B: one's face is pressed to the ground, with one hand reach forward to grab the earth and pull forward, and the other hand pushing.

But this demonstration was not enough, apparently. I found myself being singled out, along with the cadres from Alpha, Bravo, Delta, and Echo. (The other five flights were at another activity.) Suddenly we were being told that we were doing it next! He told us to go, and I thought I was gonna die. I made it through the run and high-crawl okay, but I was STRUGGLING with the low-crawl. Suddenly I look to my right and there's Wisconsin Cheese yelling, "You can do it, ma'am!" Then there's another cadet to my left, and suddenly all the cadets are there, either low-crawling with me or cheering me on. I cannot adequately describe the pride I felt for my kids at that moment.

Finally it was their turn, and anytime one of them was struggling, the rest were out there to do it with them or cheer them on. They were definitely leading by example for the other flights. Tennis was hardcore; he busted his nose on the first dive, but kept on going! (No break, fortunately.) After they all went through, Sweet Trouble did it one more time with another cop, and when he got to the low crawl all the cadets ran out to him to either crawl with him or encourage him. Aly Pom-Pom waited at the end and held her hand out to him. They all started clapping and chanting, "Sweet Trou-ble, Sweet Trou-ble!" When he finished, they went crazy. I was wicked proud of them.

Poor Aly had put a little too much strain on her ankle and was limping along with Ginger, who had injured her heel earlier in the day. But then she got sick with heat exhaustion, and while others might have teased them and called them cripples, I called them Wounded Warriors. While she stood off to the side waiting for her stomach to settle, A1C K wrangled some gossip out of her. Apparently there's competition between a couple of girls for the affections of Tennis. And this is when it came out that not only are the girls crazy about Sweet Trouble, but they all like Lt Bubbly too! Naturally I snuck off to tell Trouble, and he just shook his head and said, "Tomorrow we gotta come dressed like Brains, with our pants up to our nipples. Then they'll all think he's cool!"

I went home to shower and change, and then met back up with my flight for dinner. I went with them back to billeting, and while they were grabbing their gear for sports, Sweet Trouble and I went to grab some BK. We were in the parking lot when suddenly he exclaimed, "Did that just happen?!" I looked over to see two of our guys running back into the building with F flight's flag! They'd snagged it again! I grabbed my chicken fries and ran off to investigate, even though I was cutting it short to get to class. That's when I got grabbed by a couple of Delta flight cadets, who had a sick flight mate. Unfortunately, with Bumblebee and Lt Bubbly absent at the moment, there wasn't much I could do except direct them to give the girl's room information to Sweet Trouble. Then Aly Pom-Pom puked again, and without Bumblebee or any instructors around to give me direction, I made the call for them to stay in Ginger's room during the sports, and dashed off to class.

I quickly gave a presentation with two other guys on antisocial personality disorder, and then ran off again just in time to catch the flights as they were marching off to the sports field. I learned that Aly and Ginger were getting a ride over; if they'd stayed in my room as I'd directed, the flight and us cadres would have gotten into serious trouble, apparently. When we got the field, they took the guidons, and I had them sit on a bench while everyone else played ultimate frisbee or softball. (We won all the games, by the way.)

Ginger was given ice for both of her heels, because the good one had started to swell from putting so much weight on it, and Aly was given something to settle her stomach. Hopefully they should both be good for tomorrow; by the time we left the field, they were walking again with minimal discomfort.

When sports were done, the flights formed up, and it was time for F flight to earn their guidon back. Let me tell you about the chants, first.

There's a couple of chants these cadets holler. If a plane flies overhead (which happens frequently, this being an air base and all), someone will yell, "What's that sound?" The cadets then respond, "The sound of freedom, sir/ma'am!" If a flight is asked, "Are you motivated?", they are to respond (let's pretend a guy asked), "Sir, yes sir! Motivated, motivated, downright motivated! Ooh, ah, I wanna lead somebody! Ahhhh SIR!"

With that in mind, Brett Favre, the guidon thief, approached F flight for their humiliation. He proceeded to lead them all in a single-file line, running around all ten flights in one large cirlcle, their arms out making airplane noises. Another flight jumped the gun on us with the "What's that sound?", but Smores, our flight commander for the day, quickly faced the flight and asked, "Charlie flight, what's that sound?" Their clever response was, "The sound of losing their guidon, ma'am!" I made sure they repeated that several times, and fortunately one of F flight's cadre caught it on video for us.

They marched back to billetting, and that was where I bid them a good night before heading home to write all this. I left them at 8:50 PM; it is now 11:01. Holy crap, time for bed!

A letter to the editor.

2011-06-09T14:29:00.000-05:00

I was pretty disgusted with today's Letters to the Editor in the Belleville News-Democrat. People are in an uproar over the photo of two men kissing during their civil union that was on the front page a few days ago. One asshole said, "When the military finally officially repeals the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, maybe at all commander's calls they can hire these same-sex couples whose pictures you showed and they can show everyone the proper way for same-sex couples to kiss." Tom O'Leary of Mascoutah, you're ridiculous. Another person writing in claimed to be "one Christian who is taking a stand for God and the Bible."

So I wrote my own letter this morning.

I applaud the state of Illinois for allowing civil unions for homosexual couples. I see nothing immoral about two consenting adults with mutual love and respect for each other pledging to honor and love each other for the rest of their days.

Everyone who has written decrying these unions, using the Bible to back up their poisonous words, makes me sick. This is America, land of the free, where anyone is free to throw off the shackles of religious intolerance so that they may live their lives as they see fit. A homosexual union affects me in no way whatsoever, and as a member of the armed forces, I am proud to serve side by side with any man or woman, regardless of sexual orientation, who is willing to stand up and bear arms with me.

Hooray for the pursuit of happiness!

Of course, that won't cause a miracle and change the minds of every bigoted person who reads the paper, but of the seven letters printed today, only one from Michael Ray Dillier of Collinsville was positive about the photo. So I felt the need to throw in my positive words as well. Hooray for equality!

The Goddess has taken a musical spirit.

2011-06-08T13:35:00.001-05:00

His name was Declan Duffy. He was a son, a husband, a father, a grandfather. I knew him as a musician, guitarist and singer for the Irish Xiles of the St Louis area, comprising of he and his three sons. I didn't know the family well, but I love their music, and he and his sons and sweet wife, whom we all call Ma, always had a smile and a hug for Davi. Tonight, members of the Irish Xiles Official Drinking Team will meet to drink to his memory. When I finally depart the midwest, my fondest memories will include those made on nights at Castletown Geoghan in downtown Belleville, drinking and dancing and laughing and singing and standing on chairs as we raise our glasses. No, Dec, I did not know you well, but I'll miss your sparkling eyes, your wide smile, and your voice. Fare thee well, spirit of music, and may we meet again on the other side.

27 November 1952 - 8 June 2011

I will remember you at Samhain

And bless you then.

We all come from the Goddess

And to her we shall return

Like a drop of rain

Falling to the ocean.

We all come from the Horned One

And through Him we are reborn

Corn and grain, corn and grain

All that falls shall rise again.

Some recommendations for the masses...er...the few.

2011-06-03T21:10:00.000-05:00

Let's start with food. If you are ever in Baltimore, and you've got a fat wallet and some dressy clothes, have your dinner at Tio Pepe. It's a classy Spanish restaurant with tasty sangria by the jug and delicious food. We started with mussels in a brown sauce I could not name, but was savory nonetheless; we also passed around a plate of blue point oysters drenched in a crab meat and champagne sauce that was to die for. My mom's plate was chicken and lobster with rice. The paella on the menu serves two, so I split it with Sister's godmother; we each got half of a whole lobster, and the shrimp were fat and juicy. Sister got the cochinillo, or roast suckling pig. It was pretty much the whole damn piglet (my apologies to Winne-the-Pooh fans), but she was disappointed to find that it came without the head and feet. She claims to enjoy dead animals more when they're literally served whole. (Dear Adam, I did not visit with you because I did not have the time. Forgive me! Perhaps next time. I'll let you know in advance, and we'll wreak havoc and destruction on Annapolis.)

My next recommendation is for a new HBO show called Game of Thrones. Based on the series A Song of Fire and Ice by George R. R. Martin and starring a cast of mostly U.K. natives, Game of Thrones (named for the first book) is set in a world not too dissimilar from Medieval Europe. That's all I'll reveal about the plot; you must see it for yourself. It's led me to start reading the series; I'm currently reading Game of Thrones on my Samsung Captivate.

Now, concerning the Xbox-PS3 rivalry...if you're still arguing for PS3 over XBox, you're a dumb shit. Need I remind you about the hacking fiasco? Sony failing to notify its customers until days after the news story broke? And PSN being down for weeks on end? The only thing the PS3 has going for it, in my opinion, is its monopoly on the Metal Gear Solid and God of War franchises, and the fact that it plays Blu-Rays. But you can get a Blu-Ray player for $100 at Wal-Mart. It's not gonna be a fancy brand, but it'll do the job. If you stream Netflix via your game console, Xbox makes for better viewing as it streams in high-def. PS3 does not. In fact, it's pretty shitty quality, even with our 16 MB internet (at least, Charter claims it's 16 MB...). If it weren't for the Blu-Ray capability and MGS and GoW, I'd regret buying the damn thing for Fiance.

Finally, a movie recommendation. This afternoon I went to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides with the Redhead (who, sadly, will soon be abandoning me for the east coast; traitorous wench). I loved it. Again, I won't give anything away, except for one of my favorite scenes in the movie, when Angelica (portrayed by the sultry Penelope Cruz) says to our beloved Jack, "There is a prophecy...perhaps you do not believe in the supernatural?" and dear old Jack responds, "No, I've seen a thing or two." Tee hee. There's a scene at the end of the credits, and I'm still not certain if it was worth sitting through them, though it did give me a giggle. Otherwise, great movie. Keith Richards makes a brief appearance, and even that god-damned monkey pops us, but I won't give anything else away.

Hey, did you guys know I'm Super-man? 'Cause I am.

What I did this Memorial Day.

2011-05-30T19:32:00.000-05:00

What did you do?

PS...

...

...

...what I did two days ago!

BOOM

gone

When will people learn...

2011-05-27T17:19:00.000-05:00

...that you cannot e-mail/text/Facebook your way into heaven?

Every single time someone posts, "Repost if you believe in God", or some misspelled variation thereof, I have to restrain the smart ass in me. Like right now, such a post ends with the Bible verse, "Deny me in front of everyone [...]"...you get the idea. But OMYGAH I want to respond with, "DENIED." Just to be a smart ass and see what that person's reaction would be. Does anyone ever do that? I'd love to see that comment trail on something like that.

And then when I see these posts end with, "97% of you won't repost", I want to reply, "95% of statistics are made up". 'Cause they arrrreeee.

I'd apologize for my blatant irreverence, but instead I'm going to refer you to the disclaimer on the top AND bottom of my blog site. If you srsly think God is checking your Facebook to make sure you're re-posting that stuff, you deserve my sarcasm and smartassery. Have a blessed day.

This pirate yet lives...

2011-05-27T14:05:00.000-05:00

...for now.

Spent last weekend in the Chesapeake area for Sister's college graduation. Had some AMAZING paella at Tio Pepe's in Baltimore. Pricey, but SO FUCKING WORTH IT. Also, didn't realize how much I missed that neck of the wood.

Fiance and I were throwing around different ideas this morning over breakfast, future-wise. Him going overseas again (current job is kinda screwing him), me going back to active duty, me going back to work period, looking for jobs on the east coast...things of that nature. Just talk...even if we were to seriously consider any of those ideas (with the exception of the overseas plan, which could be a very real possibility for the near future), none of those would be occurring during this calendar year.

Tonight's my last class of Race and Ethnic Relations. Learned a couple of interesting things, but for the most part I'm done with it. Next month is General Psych...yay. Psychology is fascinating to me, but I already took Intro to Psych at my last school, and I'm only taking this one because the only other one that appealed to me for June, Earth Science, is six weeks as opposed to four weeks, and so would cut into my July class. Blah, I'll stop boring you.

Kaboom.

2011-05-25T17:13:00.000-05:00

The sirens in town went off about fifteen minutes ago. Since then, I've been watching the red blob on the map get closer and closer to me. The rain is coming down hard now, I heard the first bit of thunder a few minutes ago, and either I'm going crazy or the lights have flickered at least twice.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know it's been tornado-hell in these parts all week. The threat of severe weather for this evening was enough for classes at the education center to be canceled. They didn't even do that when the tornado hit STL airport. I think I might go get some emergency supplies together...not that they'll help if my house gets blown away, but it'll give me something to do.

The Rapture.

2011-05-20T20:10:00.000-05:00

It is said that tomorrow is The Rapture. I want to know what time it is meant to start. If midnight on 21 May, which time zone? Could The Rapture be happening as we speak, if we go with midnight at the International Date Line? Or is it like the New Year, occurring separately in each time zone as each hits midnight? Things to ponder, my friends.

Someone on suggested the following for the irreverent non-believers looking to have a little fun. In the middle of the night tonight, go up and down your street and litter it with clothing and shoes. See how freaked out your neighbors are in the morning. Hee hee...

Some are confusing The Rapture with The End. The End is scheduled for October; a huge and important difference. But I have to nitpick, of course. From my understanding, there's supposed to be a seven-year gap between The Rapture and Judgment Day. How did it get shortened to five months?

To be honest, I'm rather excited about all this. The way I see it, a lot of jobs are gonna be opening up starting tomorrow, and that increases my chances of getting part-time employment. Also, the world will be a quieter place for a bit, because won't we be seeing a lot less religious fundamentalists starting tomorrow? Dear God, please take the Westboro assholes. If you do, I won't ask for anything for Christmas.

Enjoy your Rapture, everyone. See you all at the post-looting.

The blogosphere is a little grey these days.

2011-05-20T09:16:00.000-05:00

Three of the blogs I follow have not had the happiest of news these days. Hugs and well wishes to Monica, the DH, and Laggin.

I haven't had much to blog about. Got big plans this weekend, but they're very TOP SECRET. Unfortunately it requires me to miss a wedding shower, but the bride understands and already has her gift from me.

I've skipped the last two sessions of my current class. I skipped Monday because we had a paper due that I didn't complete. I have no intention of completing it anytime soon. It required the students to seek out an unfamiliar social setting in which we are the minority, and to write about our thoughts and feelings, what we saw and sensed, etc.

Here's the thing about yours truly: I'm always the minority. I'm either the youngest, the only female, the lowest ranking, the only Hispanic, the only Wiccan, the only non-partisan...even when I go to Puerto Rico, because I'm the only one who can't speak an damn Spanish. There aren't many unfamiliar social settings for me. I think all that's left is a drive-by in East St Louis and a KKK meeting...and you won't see me venturing into any of those anytime soon.

And finally, I honestly don't care enough about being a minority to pay any attention to that status. I don't sit around in a redneck bar wondering if anyone guesses I'm not white, wondering if they're judging me for it. When I first heard that there are KKK residing in my town, I was mildly alarmed, but they haven't made a peep in the two years I've been here, and I never concern myself with it anymore.

If someone is unkind me to me, I don't immediately assume that they are discriminating against me. I think the only time in my life that I've ever felt discriminated against was in high school when the kids at the back of the base, on a couple of occasions, threw garbage at me - - just me - - and I'm pretty sure that had more to do with the fact that I was a) not black, and b) opposed to the hip hop station being the only one played on the bus radio. What can I say? Kids are stupid.

Wait, there was one other occasion, and that was when a Christian found out I was Wiccan and spent the rest of the day judging me for it. He was appalled that I would give up Christ, blah blah blah. My damn fault for even mentioning it.

I digress. My point is, it's a stupid assignment, and I'm about to get my first B since I started at this school. O well.

Found!

2011-05-13T15:40:00.001-05:00

Fiance's mom says she's been found! Whew!

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Missing!

2011-05-13T15:19:00.000-05:00

The girl on the left, with long brown hair and glasses, and Fiance's sister. Her name is Angie Laurich. She was last seen Monday night, 9 May, in St Petersburg, Florida. She has not been in touch with anyone since Tuesday morning, 10 May. She is the mother of two sweet little girls. If you have any information on her whereabouts, please contact Pinellas County Sheriff's Office. Please pass this along. Thank you so much.

If you can't go above, just go below.

2011-05-10T21:10:00.001-05:00

Billions wasted on a stupid fence to separate us from Mexico...so they dig tunnels to get over here.

To the mastermind behind the fence...way to go, dumbshit.

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May Day

2011-05-02T07:15:00.001-05:00

I do not celebrate death. I celebrate life. That being said, here's to the end of bin Laden's hide-and-seek streak!

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Quarters Auction for Breast Cancer Benefit.

2011-05-01T09:25:00.001-05:00

If you're in the area, head over to the Pastime Club of Imperial in Imperial, Missouri, today at 2 PM for a quarters auction for breast cancer awareness. Proceeds will be donated to the American Cancer Society's breast cancer education and early detection programs. I'll be at the Pampered Chef display table, if you want to stop by and say hello.

A blessed Beltane!

Looking for the Pampered Chef specials?

2011-04-30T23:24:00.000-05:00

I've been getting quite a few hits with search words related to Pampered Chef specials. If that how you're stumbling across my blog, feel free to e-mail me at DreadPirateDavi~at~facebook~dot~com, and I'll hook you up with the information you're looking for.

History of the Middle East: Final Grade...

2011-04-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

...is an A!! I ACED my final, and got an overall 96% as my final grade! Woo-hoo!!

What started as a win-win ended as a lose-lose.

2011-04-26T21:37:00.001-05:00

Went to Buffalo Wild Wings with Fiance to watch the Buffalo Sabres play the Philadelphia Flyers in game 7 of the playoffs. Directly across on a smaller screen, however, I discovered to my delight the New York Yankees in the Bronx against the Chicago White Sox. I positioned myself so that I could turn my head to the left for the ball game, and to the right for the hockey game.

The Yankees started out well with a homerun, but the Flyers led from the start. And then in the 8th inning, the Sox got a homerun and an RBI, and while they made a valiant attempt to come back at the bottom of the 9th, my Bronx Bombers lost 3-2. The Sabres also lost, but I don't have the final score off hand.

And what's that I hear in the distance? Another thunderstorm?

Sigh.

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If you perpetuate idiocy, you're an idiot.

2011-04-26T15:24:00.001-05:00

Say whatever else you want about the President, just don't tell me you believe he wasn't born in the US, because if I don't say it out loud, I will be thinking to myself, You're a fucking idiot.

I absolutely cannot take Trump srsly right now. Props to the RNC chairman, Gov Jan Brewer of Arizona, and Tea Partier Marco Rubio of Florida for dismissing the "birther controversy" as nonsense.

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I'm going to overdose on Disney Junior.

2011-04-26T08:28:00.001-05:00

I had Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Jake and the Nevetland Pirates theme songs stuck in my head all weekend.

A moment of silence for the 25th anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster. Sister's Russian boyfriend was in his mother's womb when the disaster occurred. No, he does not have a third nipple or extra toes...that Sister has mentioned.

Fifty years ago, Roger Maris of the New York Yankees hit the first of his 61 homeruns in 1961! Hoorah!

And last, but in no way the least due to sheer awesomeness, Howard Dean signed the nation's first bill allowing same-sex civil unions in Vermont eleven years ago! The first step in the right direction!!

Have a fun Tuesday. Blessed be!

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No title.

2011-04-25T16:26:00.001-05:00

Can't think of one.

I take into accouny all I have learned in my current class, History of the Middle East. I ponder current events, such as our decade-long "war on terror" and our actions in Libya.

I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings...and I'm afraid to share them. Because I don't think a single one of you would understand. And that seriously bothers the shit out of me.

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Holy tornado.

2011-04-24T13:44:00.000-05:00

Sooo glad Friday's storms didn't produce any tornadoes at my school or at home. Everyone spent the second half of class glued to their phones for the latest weather updates.

Here are some videos of the damage. I was glad to hear there weren't any casualties. In light of this, I'm trying not to complain about the never-ending rain around here, since it could obviously be worse.

Feeling pretty stupid and humiliated.

2011-04-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

I was planning a vendor fair for this weekend. It was a big deal for me; I haven't done anything like this on my own before, and I was excited for it. But the winery I wanted to hold it at told me, when I was ready to sign the paperwork and give them my deposit, that it would be a conflict of interest for them. Because they hold similar events themselves from time to time.

(I still don't get that.)

Thing is, I clearly explained via e-mail and phone conversations, what I wanted to do. Then I sit down with the manager, and suddenly they just can't accommodate us.

Today was the first chance I had to sit down and send an e-mail to all the vendors who had signed up. I had tried to find another place, but that was always a long shot on such short notice. The one promising location is located in an icky part of town, and even if I was willing to overlook that, the manager blew off my appointment.

Now I'm left looking like an unreliable fool to all these ladies. I want to try to hold one in June now, but I wouldn't be surprise if these gals want nothing to do with it.

I'm changing my middle name to Failure.

omg nervous/excited

2011-04-16T22:12:00.000-05:00

Enjoy my grammatically incorrect post title. Tomorrow I'll be meeting Monica, a rare follower of my blog, whom I've been following for - - gosh, I don't even know how long it's been, or how I even found her blog! I'm pretty excited, though. She'll be hosting a Pampered Chef cooking show for me, and I can't wait! (I just hope I don't blow it by cutting off a finger or serving a blackened wreck to her guests.) I've got my "Davi" apron in the washer (Oh, have I never mentioned it? It's the TITS.), and I'm running around getting everything ready for tomorrow.

Super excited!

I just can't help myself...

2011-04-16T16:29:00.000-05:00

I recently saw a post on Facebook that seriously made me scratch my head. Someone was commenting on Donald Trump's possible 2012 presidential bid...something about how we'd be better off if our government was run like a business, so yes, they'd be voting for Trump.

Ha.

If Trump were our president and ran our government like he runs his personal and business affairs, we'd be fucked. At one time, his personal debt peaked at $900 million, while his business debts were in the billions. He came to the brink of filing personal bankruptcy on at least one occasion, and on separate occasions the Trump Plaza Hotel and Trump Hotels have filed for bankruptcy.

Yeah...that's the guy who's gonna get us out of this mess.

Shutdown article roundup before bedtime.

2011-04-08T22:56:00.000-05:00

Just wanna share these before I hit the sack. Regardless of what has happened tonight, I won't be putting on a uniform this weekend, so I plan on sleeping in.

A deal at last! But only for the next week? That's...whatever. President Obama, Representative Boehner, Senator Reid...stop fucking posturing like you just saved the country. This should have been taken care of last October!! (I know Boehner didn't become the Speaker until January, but that was four months ago. To be fair, though, Pelosi can suck it, too.)

A "who's to blame" opinion smorgasbord. A good read.

Fareed on America's broken politics and bloated budget. Well said, Mr Zakaria.

Congress, Congress, Congress...I am begging you, don't make us go through this again in another fucking week. Stop attaching policy riders to the budget, stop pointing fingers, stop comparing cocks, and stop holding up the system over your idealogical polarized bullshit.

Sincerely, The Dread Pirate Davi.

This trainwreck didn't come out outta nowhere!

2011-04-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

I would like to quote a paragraph from this article:

The polarization of the two major parties has consequences for a great deal more than just the contents of legislation. It fosters a broader political environment in which compromise invites ridicule, in which pragmatists are presumed to lack conviction, and in which each political faction is convinced not merely that it is right, but that those who disagree with it are stupid, evil or both.

Some of you are reading that and thinking to yourselves, "Yep, sounds like the Republicans."

Some of you are reading that and thinking to yourselves, "Yep, sounds like the Democrats."

How many of you are reading that and thinking to yourselves, "Yep, sounds like every asshole in office."?

Hm.

Do take the time to read the entire article.

Waaaaaa.

2011-04-08T21:40:00.001-05:00

Democrats: The Republicans want to take away Planned Parenthood!

Republicans: The Democrats don't want the military getting paid!

Would you all just stfu and pass a goddamn budget bill already? Srsly, you're embarrassing yourselves.

And here's a thrifty tip for ya': if the gov't shuts down, the gov't shouldn't get paid. I'm looking at you, Congress and Mr President.

Chili-Rubbed, Maple-Glazed Pork Chops.

2011-04-08T21:26:00.000-05:00

Delicious.

Fiance was not a fan of the glaze, and chose to forgo that part. He's not a fan of maple-meat mixtures...though he devoured the maple-flavored bacon I was cooking for breakfast last month...

Got this recipe from Thunder Roads Magazine. Fiance's friend, whom I shall call Biker, was perusing the magazine at our local bar the other night when he stumbled upon this piece of culinary gold. He showed it to me, and the page included a few other recipes I'd like to try at some point (cinnamon fried apples and pink lemonade cupcakes, yum!). He tore the page out, handed it to me, and then put the magazine back on the rack on the bar.

The only things I did differently: instead of ancho chili powder, I used - - wait for it - - chili powder. And because I didn't have any maple syrup, I used...Mrs Buttersworth Lite. Don't judge, it was still delicious!

Ingredients:
4 tsp ancho chili powder
1 tsp sea salt or kosher salt
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cinnamon
4 extra-large, center-cut, bone-in pork chops, thick
6 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 cup maple syrup
1 cup chicken stock
4 Tbsp butter

Combine the first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. This will be your rub. Rub the mixture into meat generously. Get it in there deep and well-coated, on both sides. Let rest at room temp for about 15 minutes.

Get a cast-iron skillet really hot over medium-high heat. Drizzle in some olive oil, along with a couple of pats of butter. Make sure the chops cook golden brown on both sides. You can reduce heat to medium-low and let go to make sure of doneness.

Reduce down your balsamic vinegar in a small pot over medium-high heat, until it thickens up. Add maple syrup, chicken stock, and 4 Tbsp butter. Bring down to medium heat and just let go about 7 minutes until thick.

Turn heat to pork chops off. Pour glaze generously all over chops, but save enough as dipping sauce. Cover chops and let saturate for about 5 minutes.

I wish I had the guts to do something like this.

2011-04-08T11:56:00.000-05:00

This woman is setting such a great example and helping so many kids! Read here.

Gotta love little misunderstandings.

2011-04-08T11:48:00.000-05:00

I saw someone on FB yesterday say that the president had canceled his "vacation" to deal with the budget crisis. But, um, according to CNN [disclaimer: they can't agree on what they disagree on!]...it was a trip to promote clean energy. Sounds like work to me.

Others have commented on how the House, mostly controlled by the GOP, is trying to pass a bill that would cover funding for the Pentagon for the rest of the year, and that the Democrats are opposed to it. This makes the Democrats look like the bad guys. Don't they want at least a temporary resolution to all this? Again, according to CNN [same article], it's not the funding of the Pentagon they're opposed to...it's the goddamn policy riders attached to said bill! Including one that would slash funding for Planned Parenthood!!

Um, yeah, I'd vote against that, too!! I was just at Planned Parenthood a few days ago, where for $123, I received the following: testing for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis (not that I believe I have any of that, but better to be safe than sorry); the first of my Gardasil shots for four different types of HPV; and four months worth of birth control. So that my unemployed ass doesn't end up with a disease or a kid to support that would put me on welfare, costing the government even more money. Donate to Planned Parenthood today!!

How many times have politicians been the bad guy for voting against bills that everyone else is all for? Too many times to count, and why? Because it's not the main topic of the bills that they're necessarily opposed to; it's all the attached, non-related crap that they're voting against!

Gawd...DAMMIT.

I guess some people learned NOTHING in their government class in high school.

2011-04-07T23:50:00.001-05:00

I was watching Fox News today...for the hell of it...and for once no one was yelling, so I was not subjected to a headache. They were discussing the threat of a government shutdown, and to my surprise, instead of blaming the Dems...they didn't know who to blame!! I was hooked for the next hour-and-a-half. Haha...

I read an article earlier that I can't find now, but it mentioned that 21 Senate Democrats wanted to pass a bill that would prevent Congress or the president from being paid in the event of a shutdown, their reasoning being that they wouldn't be working during a shutdown, and therefore shouldn't be paid for not working. So for those of you who are making villains out of the Dems right now...just stop it. Both sides are to blame, but both sides are trying to do that they think is best for the country. And it's hard for nearly 600 people to come to a consensus on ANYTHING.

I would now like to address every single person who is blaming the president for what is going on. I still vaguely remember my US Government lessons from high school. I took three semesters of it...long story, but a good example of why education should be standardized across the nation. (Srsly, someone explain to me how a year of Army JROTC doesn't fill the physical education requirement, but fills the technology requirement?! W. T. F.) Anywho, the one thing I walked away from was this: the president really can't do a whole lot of shit.

Anyone know why? It's all due to a system of checks and balances, to prevent any of the three branches of government (executive, legislative, judicial) from becoming more powerful than the other.

Let's define the role of an American president. He (or she, one of these days) is both the head of government and head of state. He is also our foreign minister and commander-in-chief. Oooh, sounds important and powerful, right?

As head of government, he is responsible for running the functions of state, managing the bureaucracy, and deciding how to enforce the law. Of course, if the Supreme Court isn't down with how he's enforcing laws, or with anything he does, they can always pull the "unconstitutional" card. Or Congress could just pass a law to put him in is place. Bam! Checks and balances baby. (Though we all know the idea of Congress simply passing a law like that is ludicrous.)

As foreign minister, the president is responsible for overseeing the state's ambassadors and determining foreign policy. Big whoop, the president only gets his choice of ambassador if the Senate approves, and if the Senate isn't on his side, he's shit out of luck. As for foreign policy...you know what, let's not go there. Moving on...

As commander-in-chief, the president is responsible for commanding the state's armed forces and determining military policy. But he can't officially declare war without the approval of Congress, and we've seen what happens when he tries to change military policy. We're two years into Obama's presidency, and we're only just on the threshold of the repeal of DADT, a major campaign promise, because he couldn't pull it off without a referendum that took fucking forever. Let's get it over with.

I'm gonna quote Wikipedia here for a second.

"Since the founding of the United States, the power of the president and the federal government have grown substantially, and each modern president, despite possessing no formal legislative powers beyond signing or vetoing Congressionally passed bills, is largely responsible for dictating the legislative agenda of his party and the foreign and domestic policy of the United States. The president is frequently described as the most powerful person in the world."

Yeah, the President can veto the shit out of anything he doesn't like...but that veto can always be overturned by a 2/3 vote in both houses of Congress. Oh snap! As for dictating the legislative agenda...kinda hard to do if one or both chambers of Congress are all politically opposed to you. The next two years should be interesting.

Anyways, my point in all this is that President Obama is not single-handedly responsible for every obstacle or nation has faced since coming into office. No president ever has been. The fault lies with a much larger group. We could all blame Bush for the shenanigans that occurred during his tenure, but I sincerely doubt Hurricane Katrina was his fault, and if I ever meet any of those crazies who think 9/11 was planned by our government, I will personally lobotomize them.

You want someone to blame for the possibility of me and my fellow reservists and guardsmen working for free this weekend; of soldiers and airmen in the AOR being separated form their families and working 12-hr shifts, six days a week, with no immediate compensation; of military members who live paycheck to paycheck not being able to pay rent or mortgage or put food on the table? Blame the assholes who are either too far to the left or too far to the right to take their heads out of their asses long enough to actually SEE what all their squabbling is doing to us as a nation. Their words are full of sympathy and concern for their constituents; their actions are full of pettiness and partisanship.

(And could you all do me a huuuuuge favor, and stop watching Fox News and MSNBC, and stop listening to Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck, and do the research yourself.)

(And dear Glenn Beck: FUCK YOU.)

The Great Egyptian Debate.

2011-04-04T20:47:00.000-05:00

My current class is "History of the Middle East". We have one written assignment, which will also be an oral assignment. My chosen topic is Amenhotep IV, aka Akhenaten, aka the Heretic King, and so one. Sister thinks I should have gone with Hapshetsut.

"Nah, not nearly as intersting. Amenhotep was batshit crazy!!"

"Yea but Hatshepsut was a female pharaoh who decided to rule as a man!"

"This is true, but she didn't piss off the Egyptians nearly as much as Akenaten. He was called the Heretic King! His was family was labeled "enemies of Egypt"! HE TRIED TO BUILD A CITY OUT OF SAND." [This is when I feel I won the debate.]

"I know...Still a poor choice I say haha."

Pffft. Whatevs. Akhenaten RULES.

One hell of a vicious cycle.

2011-04-01T16:58:00.000-05:00

When will history stop repeating itself?

When will we learn from the mistakes of our predecessors?

Fuck these guys, too.

2011-04-01T15:08:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes, allowing gays to serve in the military would be a CATASTROPHE, but allowing these guys to run amok is okay. And why have no charges been brought against the leadership? Where's the fucking accountability?!

Fuck you, Terry Jones.

2011-04-01T12:31:00.000-05:00

I'm not fond of bees. Not many people are. I express my dislike by keeping a safe distance from them, their tempers, and their stingers. That's what smart people do.

Terry Jones does not like Islam. Good for you, Terry. But instead of staying away from Islam, he decided to STOMP THE SHIT OUT OF THE BEEHIVE.

Thanks to that asshole, 12 people are dead. Way to go, Terry. Way to be a compassionate Christian who loves his fellow man.

I'm not saying it's okay for terrorists to react in this way. It's not. But Terry KNEW that the radicals would be enraged by his actions. And he should have known that instead of responding by burning a Bible, or specifically targeting him, these terrorists would respond by targeting individuals that had nothing to do with Terry's abhorrent actions. Because that's what terrorists do. They behave irrationally and harm the innocent.

Fuck you, Terry Jones.

Some progress.

2011-03-26T09:34:00.002-05:00

I've lost three pounds, and yesterday I ran a mile. It was broken up, but it was a mile nonetheless. Gotta work harder!!!!

I'm gonna be miserable tomorrow.

2011-03-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

Aiden is gonna have to feed himself and change his own diaper tomorrow. 'Cause I'm not gonna be able to move.

I did approximately 110 sit-ups, an unspecified number of 20-rep sets on my biceps and triceps, a 45-minute Kenpo X workout (part of the P90X series), and a 3/4-mile run on a nature trail.

A quick plug for Sketchers Shape-Ups: while running, mu abs were getting a workout!!

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The selfishness of a Dread Pirate.

2011-03-22T13:57:00.001-05:00

A friend is pregnant after two miscarriages, and while I am happy for her, my first thought was...well, it was a painful thought. Let'a just leave it at that.

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I've been GOOGLED.

2011-03-21T19:22:00.000-05:00

Search words: dread pirate davi

I'm famous!

PS, The Yoga X of P90X huuurrrts.

PPS, Fellow blogger Monica is hosting a Pampered Chef party for me! Woot!

Getting back into shape...again.

2011-03-20T16:30:00.000-05:00

Who totally let herself go after losing 14 pounds last year with Weight Watchers?

This girl.

Who failed her PT test for the third goddamn time?

THIS GIRL.

I'm taking a quick break from my workout. The time to stop fucking around and start taking this srsly was a year ago...and I let the ball drop.

NOT. HAPPENING. AGAIN.

Feel free to leave disparaging comments to keep me motivated.

Super Moon!

2011-03-19T15:09:00.000-05:00

If it weren't for Twitter, I wouldn't even know about this. Once again, social networking manages to just barely keep me in the loop of world happenings.

Check it out!

Thoughts on the meaning of life.

2011-03-19T10:54:00.000-05:00

Lecture notes, second night of "Religion in the United States":

"Why are we here?" Why do we ask this question? Why is it important?

It is important because this question is the basis for the establishment of religion eons ago.

My thoughts after noting this:

I think was people are REALLY asking is, "What is the meaning of MY life?" They use religion to give their life meaning. and so their life purpose becomes the worshiping of their chosen deity (or deities).

I heard a girl say that maybe life is meant to be a journey, to learn before we cross over. I could take that and run with it. It would mean that our physical existences on this earth are merely a step in a long process. That the old cliche of death being a beginning, not an end, that it is simply a doorway to the next plane of existence, to the next step in the journey. That "heaven" or "hell" are not the final destinations, that there is something else waiting on the other side of either of those, and so on.

My head hurts. But anyways, if "why are we here" and "what is our purpose" are valid questions with legitimate answers, I don't think we'll discover them in this reality. I think we have to proceed a few more steps before we get to the answers.

Or maybe there are no answers, and I'm just talking crazy.

Hamantashen.

2011-03-18T20:34:00.000-05:00

Well...they tasted yummeh, but they didn't look like they were supposed. Hamantashen are SUPPOSED to look like this:

But mine looked like this:

They came unfolded in the oven. Even before I put them in, I had to keep re-pinching the corners. Gonna have to figure out how to make them stick. Like I said, tho, they were tasty!

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 12 minutes

Ready in: 27 minutes

Ingredients:

3 eggs
1 cup granulated sugar
¾ cup vegetable oil
2-1/2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup orange juice
5-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 cup fruit preserves, any flavor

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease cookie sheets.
In a large bowl, beat the eggs and sugar until lightly fluffy. Stir in the oil, vanilla, and orange juice. Combine the flour and baking powder; stir in to the batter and form a stiff dough. (If dough is not stiff enough to roll out, stir in more flour.) On a lightly flour surface, roll out dough to 1/4” thickness. Cut into circles using a cookie cutter or the rim of a drinking glass. Place cookies two inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheets. Spoon about 2 tsp of preserves into the center of each one. Pinch the edges to form three corners.
Bake for 12 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly browned. Allow cookies to cool for one minute on the cookie sheet before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

Kreplach.

2011-03-18T20:29:00.001-05:00

I didn't think this was very good boiled. I might try to make some more for Fiance by frying it instead.

Preparation time: 1 hour

Cook time: 15 minutes

Ready in: 1 hour, 15 minutes

Ingredients:

4 Tbsp vegetable oil
2 lbs lean ground beef
2 onions, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
1 pinch ground cinnamon
4 cups all-purpose flour
½ tsp salt
2 eggs
1-1/2 cup warm water

In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat and add beef, onions, salt and pepper to taste, and cinnamon; cook until beef is no longer pink. Remove from heat and let cool.
In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, salt, eggs, and water; mix until dough is smooth. Add flour until dough is no longer sticky. Roll the dough into a ball and cut into ten pieces.
On a floured surface, roll out each piece of dough; cut out five circles, about three inches in diameter. Place about 1 tsp of filling in the middle of each circle; fold the dough over and seal the edges with a small amount of water.
Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil; drop in kreplach a few at a time. Cook for four minutes or until kreplach float to the top. Remove with a slotted spoon; serve.

Challah bread: Update.

2011-03-18T20:18:00.002-05:00

Success!

Challah bread.

2011-03-18T11:55:00.002-05:00

I have a group presentation tonight on Judaism for my Religion in the United States class. As a fun way to experience Judaism, I came up with the idea to celebrate Purim, which starts tomorrow at sundown. I volunteered to cook. Currently I am waiting for the dough to rise for my challah bread. Here's a recipe. I'll let you know how it turns out.

(Found online.)

Preparation time: 30 minutes
Cook time: 40 minutes

Ready in: 3 hours, 40 minutes

Ingredients:

2-1/2 cups warm water
1 Tbsp active dry yeast
½ cup honey
4 Tbsp vegetable oil
3 eggs
1 Tbsp salt
8 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

In a large bowl, sprinkle yeast over barely warm water. Beat in honey, 2 eggs, and salt, and vegetable oil. Add the flour one cup at a time, beating after each addition, graduating to kneading with hands as dough thickens. Knead until smooth and elastic and no longer sticky, adding flour as needed. Cover with a damp clean cloth and let rise for an hour and half or until dough has doubled in bulk.
Punch down the risen dough and turn out onto floured board. Divide in half and knead each half for five minutes or so, adding flour as needed to keep from getting sticky. Divide each half into thirds and roll into long snakes about 1.5” in diameter. Pinch the ends of the three snakes together firmly and braid from middle. Either leave as braid or form into a round braided loaf by bringing ends together; curve braid into a circle, pinching ends together. Grease two baking trays and place finished braid or round on each. Cover with towel and let rise about one hour.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
Beat the remaining egg and brush a generous amount over each braid.
Bake for about 40 minutes. Bread should have a nice hollow sound when thumped on the bottom. Cool on a rack for at least one hour before slicing.

The Pampered Chef: March 2011 Host Special

2011-03-17T16:25:00.000-05:00

Host a March show and choose any new product at 60% off!

Twenty-seven new products to choose from:
Manual Food Processor
Stoneware Cookie Sheet
Microplane (r) Adjustable Coarse Grater
Dots Small Beverage Glasses (set of 4)
Mega Lifter
Outdoor Caddy
Veggie Wedger
The Pampered Chef (r) Make it Fresh, Make it Healthy
Mango Wedger
Microplace (r) Zester
Teriyaki Sauce with Honey
Sweet & Sour Sauce
Scoop 'N Drain
Coconut Lime Sauce
Mini Mix 'N Scraper (r)
Microfiber Towel (cranberry)
Measuring Spoon Set
The Pampered Chef (r) Dinner in Your Deep Covered Baker Recipe Collection
Tie-It
Bar Tongs
Twixit! Clip Combo Pack (cranberry, white)
Mini Scoop & Measure
Quikut Paring Knives (set of three; cranberry, white)
Outdoor Mini Spoon &Tongs Set
Chili Lime Rub
i-Slice (r) (cranberry)
Grill Pan & Press Scraper

As a host, you enjoy:

FREE products of your choice
Half-price and discounted products
10% discount for a year
FREE shipping on your order

Call or e-mail me today to book a show! (Or leave a comment on the blog.)

Multi-Vendor Quarter Auction to raise money for Cordell Jackson.

2011-03-17T16:14:00.000-05:00

Please join us for a fun-filled evening and help raise money for Cordell Jackson.

Cordell is the 3-1/2 year-old son of a sister Pampered Chef consultant who had problems with seizures and kidney failure, and has had many stays at Children's Hospital. Please help us raise money for the Jackson family to help pay their mounting hospital bills. All quarters and raffle monies will be donated to the family.

When: March 29, 2011, Tuesday
Time: Doors open at 5:45 PM, auction begins at 7:00 PM
Where: KC Hall Fairview Heights
5420 Old Collinsville Road
Fairview Heights, IL
What to bring: Quarters galore!

We'll have raffle prizes, 50/50 drawings, and other games, as well as more than 12 different vendors to shop from, including Pampered Chef, Miche Bags, Lia Sophia, Homemade Gourmet, Celebrating Home, Scentsy, Tastefully Simple, Tupperware, and many more.

Purchase a bid card at the door for $2 and play with quarters; or donate $25 for a Golden Bid Card to bid on anything all night!

You can earn more bid cards by booking an in-home party with any vendor to be held within 60 days of the event, or purchase $40 or more in product at the event. (Paddles not to exceed 4 per person.)

Get a group of 8 - 10 guests to come fill a table and this can be a show for you; you can get full host benefits! It's an easy way to host a party for me without having clean your house or buy any food.

Remember, no bid is more than a $1, and the more money we bring in, the more we can help Cordell and his family! Call or e-mail me today to reserve seats! (Or leave a comment on the blog post.)

Broken silence...and changes.

2011-02-24T11:20:00.000-06:00

My last day of regular, full time employment was the 18th. Two reasons: one that is ultra-personal and no one's damn business; the other is school. I put off going to school full time when I left active duty to take the contractor job, because I was terrified of the thought of living on nothing else but $1K a month and six months of unemployment. Not I don't even have unemployment to rely on. But that's okay. I can't put it off any longer. I'm still two classes away from my associate's, and it's about damn time I got started on my bachelor's. I'm 25 years old; I'm not getting any younger.

I've got a gig baby-sitting for the Redhead three days a week with some chores thrown in a few times a month. I've filling out applications for part-time retail jobs. I'm doing what I can to drum up some Pampered Chef business. (So, if you're in the local area, I would love you forever if you booked a party for me. You don't have to spend a dime; make everyone else buy stuff and reap the benefits! Srsly.) Fiance will do what he can to help me with my bills, but for the time being, we're gonna have to be super-frugal, and I'm gonna be one broke student.

I've been cleaning more lately. Mostly in the kitchen. I've been obsessive about keeping it clean. And my bathroom, which used to always look like Hurricane Katrina had been through there, now looks nice and organized. I like being in there now.

I haven't been on Facebook for weeks. I've gotten a couple of concerned messages as a result (I get private messages via text). My blog still feeds to FB, so if you're reading this, you should know that I'll be deleting it soon. My profile, not my blog. It'll be a damn shame; for the majority of the people on my friend list, that's my only way of keeping in touch with them. So if you wanna keep in touch outside of that, shoot me your e-mail address via private message on FB. I'll still have this blog, and my Twitter, so feel free to follow either one. Or both. Or neither. Your call. And if you're military, I'm still in the GAL, look me up.

(And if you're interested in a Pampered Chef party...which would be awesome...we have a brand new spring/summer catalog and twenty-seven new products. E-mail me.)

I haven't forgotten you, Monica!! I'll e-mail you soon!!

For the love of caek.

2011-01-25T09:52:00.001-06:00

BRO: bring me some caek

ME: come get it yourself.

‎‎BRO‎‎: you should come down, actually.

‎‎ME‎‎: no.

i'm busy.

‎‎BRO‎‎: well

‎‎ME‎‎: if i leave my desk, chaos will ensue

‎‎BRO‎‎: when you get a minute

get me some caek plzkthx

‎‎ME‎‎: you can't be brought your cake and eat it too

you must earn it.

‎‎BRO‎‎: when you come down, you will see why i earned it.

‎‎ME‎‎: i refuse to be seen getting a second slice of cake.

‎‎BRO‎: ugh. tell them it's for your lazy bro

‎‎ME‎‎: that's exactly what they would expect me to say if i was trying to make an excuse for why i was having a second slice of cake before 0930.

‎‎BRO‎‎: the caek wouldn't be out at 9am unless it wanted to be eaten

‎‎ME‎‎: STOP BEING SO GODDAMN LAZY AND COME GET IT.

‎‎BRO‎‎: help me.

you're my only hope.

...for caek.

‎‎ME‎‎: i will give you my plate and fork.

that is all i can do.

you must do this on your own.

it is your task.

your quest.

‎‎BRO‎‎: well now, which is seriously worse:

someone who works in the vicinity of the caek getting a second piece

or someone who works downstairs, explicitly seeking the caek, then walking through the halls with the caek

head hung in shame, tears falling into the buttercream frosting

‎‎ME‎‎: you could eat it at my desk.

‎‎BRO‎‎: your area is moderately crowded

‎‎ME‎‎: not today.

leach, do you hear that?

it is the cake.

it is calling to you.

beckoning.

begging to be eaten.

to be savored.

‎‎BRO‎‎: i'm going to walk up there and talk to you like none of this ever happened.

then you will tell me there is caek.

and we will get it.

‎that is what will happen.*

*That is what happened.

A very bad morning.

2011-01-21T10:44:00.000-06:00

This morning, alone with no witness other than the cats (and they're not talking), I threw a tantrum so epic it would leave a three-year-old in awe.

I got out of bed late. I'm just getting over a cold, but had a growing suspicious that I woke up this morning with a UTI. (As of 1029L, I have discarded this suspicion.) This left me feeling very cranky. Then I went to get dressed, and could not bear the thought of wearing a layer of thermals under my uncomfortably snug ABU pants. Even tucking in my shirt this morning was uncomfortable. I could have buttoned all four buttons with no problem, but buttoning just one was unbearable. I didn't want to be wearing anything that would be tight around my crouch, because of my UTI suspicions.

I had to pee AGAIN, and unbottoned my pants and nearly ripped them off in frustration. I was on the verge of tears out of nowhere, and suddenly all I could think was that I would once again fail my PT test this weekend, that I had no energy or motivation or desire to do anything ever again, that I hate my uniform and being in the reserves and just being me in general, that I was fat and ugly, and that it was no wonder I miscarried, because I'm such a big unhealthy mess of a girl.

As I forced my pants back on, I left my shirt untucked and began to cry and scream and rage. A logical part of my brain thought for a moment that it might be a good idea to swing by mental health today to talk to someone. But I quickly dismissed this idea. I cannot bear to discuss the miscarriage, or my feelings concerning it. I'm amazed that I'm even bringing it up here. I'm sure one of my two readers will tell me that yes, I should go talk to someone, but it's not happening. I would advise another person in my shoes of the same thing; but I've never been very good at taking my own advice.

I felt the tears stream down my cheeks, and it was then I snapped out of it. I thought, I'm about to go out into single-digit temperatures to clean off my car; I can't have tears on my face, they'll freeze! (I never said my thought processes make sense.) I calmed down, cleaned off my car, and headed to work.

There was no trace of tears as I rolled thru the gate and struggled to roll down a frozen window. There was no sign of distress as I swung by my regular day job for a cup of a joe and quick chat with Canuck and Ears. And by the time I walked into the wing staff area, you'd never have known that I'd thrown an award-wining tantrum to put Russell Crowe to shame.

But then, I've always worn the best masks.